This week on The Shitty: Who's ready for a heapin' helpin' of the same old crap?! You are! Erin and Olivia fight. About work. Specifically, pulling clothes for something. Just like the last episode. And the one before that. And the one before that. And the one before that. And the one before that. Sensing a pattern? Whit has a multi-thousand dollar photo shoot for her "collection." Don't worry - MTV paid for everything. Thank god! And Roxy almost effs it all up and then pouts about it, because that's pretty much the only reliable thing that she can do.
Okay, peeps. So, I don't want to be Bitter Boy throughout this entire recap, so let me get this out of the way now: Who the hell airs a new episode of a series TWO DAYS before Thanksgiving?! What the crap, man?! Also, there are so many more things I'd rather be doing the NIGHT BEFORE THANKSGIVING than recapping this (I'm just going to be honest) lackluster show. Drinking wine by the gas phony-fire, for instance. Watching the new DVD of the 1st season of Parks and Recreation I just bought, for example. Stripping down to my boxer briefs and rolling in fiberglass, perhaps. (Yes, I wear boxer briefs -- wonder no more, people!) But duty calls, and I am here for you, and I will do my best not to complain any more. Will it work? I'm going to say no, and if we all lived in the same town I would take you all out for drinks to make up for the fact that this recap will be hasty and most likely one of my worst. But we don't and I can't, so let's just get started, okay?
Over at People's Revolution of Fashion Conformity, Whit's laid out all her clothes from her collection. Kelly's there, and today's she's put on her Supportive Slacks instead of her Pissy Pants and tells Whit that it may be time for a shooting for a "look book." Kelly then lists off the thousands of things that are needed for a look book, and I'm wondering who the hell has to pay for all the hair, makeup, photographers, models and crap like that. I'm sure MTV will pay for it all. You know, if I were a regular non-MTV-Adam-DiVello-reality-show-ramen-eating-every-night-on-the-verge-of-eviction person trying to start up my own fashion line, stuff like what I'm seeing right now? Would send me into a Hulk-like state of rage that not even Tim Gunn himself could pull me out out of. Whit says Roxy could do the casting, and Kelly says Roxy has never done one before, and that could be a mistake. Oh, I don't know, Roxy really loves to work hard, and has totally proven herself worthy in the past. And if you think I'm not being sarcastic, you may want to stop reading. Credits.
Well, after I restarted the stupid MTV online player because it got into a freaking commercial loop and played the same one 6 times, and after I sat through three more commercials before getting to where I left off, here's what happens next. Back at People's Revolution, it's casting time for Whit's look book. Roxy's there, with her blank-stare whenever somebody gives her an order. You know, because she has no idea what to do. Luckily, Kelly's there too. The first model doesn't have a book, so Kelly tells her to leave. Yeowza, harsh. Also, Kelly needs her own reality show. I think she'd do much better on some kind of competition show, but I'd take it if it were a regular reality show. And Flipit? If you're reading this, I get first dibs on that mofo. Roxy's not really doing anything except walking and saying, "Here's the next model," so Kelly looks at all of them and keeps about 3, and tells the rest to go home. So sad. These girls will probably be so devastated that they'll splurge on a traveler's pack of Kleenex on the subway ride home. Kelly tells Roxy that the theme is "fairy tale tea party" (um, seriously?) and not some gothic crap, so Roxy needs to step it up and get some good models. Kelly bitches about something else.
« Styl'd: Squeal Like a Man, Boy! | Main | Tabatha's Salon Takeover: One Looms Over the Cuckoo's Nest »
Comments (13)
Thank you for the recap - I appreciate you!!!
Yeah these people are running these story lines into the ground- Booooring.
Which epi was it when Erin bitched about O and then the guys at the table are like - "But she's cute, Go Olivia" or something.
So sad. and funny.
I wanna be on Erins side too but she makes it hard. True that.
LOLOLOL Thank you!! Happy Turkey Day!
Oh and what town are you in because you can totally meet me and buy me drinks in Phoenix:)
1 of 13 | Posted by sweetleaf | Posted on November 26, 2009 10:55 AM
I've never seen this show, but the title of this recap made me laugh out loud....
2 of 13 | Posted by itchy | Posted on November 26, 2009 2:02 PM
itchy - you ain't missin' much. I hate to be one of those recappers who hates the show, but . . . well, I kind of do. There are certain things I like about it, but on the whole, there's very little drama, and what's there is draaaaaaagggged out over like 12 episodes.
sweetleaf - the episode you are referring to is last week's, when the Cobra Starship dudes were like, "Olivia's a fox." And Erin, yeah. Who can we root for on this show? Olivia just a spoiled, pretentious lame-o; Erin is now a spiteful, hate-filled, diatribe-machine; Roxy is a spoiled borderline-sociopath who cares about nothing but herself; and Whitney is just too nice to be interesting and lets anyone and everyone walk all over her. There's no real "Bitch" and there's no real "heroine."
Just give Kelly her own show already.
And sadly (both for you AND me, sweetface) I live in Kansas. I used to live in Chicago, but the recession completely kicked my ass and now I live in my parent's basement. Jealous? ;)
3 of 13 | Posted by Hypnotoad | Posted on November 26, 2009 5:14 PM
Does that bitchface Erin puts on when Olivia is around or is mentioned remind anyone else of Kate Gosselin's bitchface?
The cold, sullen eyes? The pinched, crooked mouth thing? If there's a Jon and Kate movie, and Hollywood follows their practice of casting people 10 years younger and 65% hotter than the real-life people, Erin is a shoo-in to play the Bitch Queen Who Should Have Been Eaten as A Child.
4 of 13 | Posted by NotWithoutMyTV | Posted on November 26, 2009 6:17 PM
Yeowza, NotWithoutMyTV! I totally see the resemblance, though, now that you mention it. Although, I am proud to say that I've only seen pics of that Gosselin ho, and have never seen her on TV. I'd like to keep it that way.
Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for Roxy. Or Olivia. Or Erin. Or even Whitney.
I marginally enjoyed the first half of this season, but the second half sucks like a Bissell steam cleaner.
5 of 13 | Posted by Hypnotoad | Posted on November 26, 2009 11:38 PM
I just want to understand what you meant when you said- "she is a size 12 which doesn't seem normal to me."
What doesn't seem normal to you? That a model would be a size 12 because that is what I thought you were saying. Yes. It isn't normal for a model to be a size 12. Most models are either a size 2 or a size 4. Catalog models can be a bit bigger anywhere from sizes 6-12. Size 10-12 is a normal size from a majority of women in America.
Just wondering what didn't seem normal to you?
6 of 13 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on November 27, 2009 2:23 PM
Yeah, sorry, when I said, "One of them is a size 12, which I don't think is actually really normal (I'm a dude, so forgive me, ladies), but I will say good for Elle on that one," I meant that I was glad Elle was showing models who weren't totally stick-thin, but I still didn't think 12 was still the normal, average size for women, which I thought was 14. When I re-read that in the recap, it didn't really read the way it was in my head. Sorry about that.
Like I said, I'm a dude, so I really don't know women's sizes that well. You'd think all that ANTM-watching would have made SOMETHING sink in, but apparently, it hasn't.
7 of 13 | Posted by Hypnotoad | Posted on November 27, 2009 8:11 PM
first of all thanks for the great recap, as always.
i totally agree with kelly having her own show...a competion type would be ideal.
i watched it online too and those hpv commericals were getting to me as well...i almost died when i saw you screen grabbed it.
i actually like erin. this is her life, her job and she takes it seriously, unlike oliva, who i do love (even if for comic relif alone)...if i were oliva and i cared about my job i would have went to a ton of different stores to find the perfect outfits.
i totally agree with the commenter with the erin/kate gosselin...and like u never seen the show..only ALL OVER the internet and mags.
you were right size 12 is not the
average size"...and im a girl...
great recap, look forward to next weeks!
8 of 13 | Posted by chrissy | Posted on November 27, 2009 11:15 PM
I am sorry I hope I didn't come across as if I was jumping down your throat. I was thinking that you thought it was odd for a model to be a size 12 which it isn't normal for the fashion world. At least according to Top Model a girl who is a size 12 has to over come being as big as a house on her way to becoming America's Next Top Model:)
9 of 13 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on November 28, 2009 11:07 AM
No, no reckless - I didn't think you were being rude at all! It was definitely a confusing statement on my part. No need to apologize! It's all good.
10 of 13 | Posted by Hypnotoad | Posted on November 28, 2009 12:47 PM
I just read that Kelly is getting her own show on Bravo premiering February 1st called Kell on earth...should be interesting
11 of 13 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on November 30, 2009 1:39 PM
Anonymous - good idea, horrible name.
12 of 13 | Posted by Hypnotoad | Posted on November 30, 2009 7:20 PM
I just googled Kell on Earth..it says the show will follow Kelly Cutrone as she juggles running People's Revolution and being a single mother...I didn't know she had kids! It will be really interesting to see how she interacts with children!
13 of 13 | Posted by winks523 | Posted on December 1, 2009 7:43 AM