How much you wanna bet Stacey's gonna send David home tonight? I'm putting one real dollar on this one. I just had to get that out. Apparently last week's talent show just wasn't enough to convince Stacey of the guys' value as human beings so this week they have to serenade Stacey. Am I watching The Cougar or Making the Band? Seriously. A goofy ass song won't tell Stacey anything about the guys that she doesn't already know. It does however, give us a chance to give our cougar a cool nickname.
Before the karaoke-fest, each guy must write a deep, dark secret and Stacey will read them. She will then pick out the two most interesting secrets. I'm pretty sure that Marine Ryan will not disappoint. Stacey reads the secrets and one guy stole a car at 14 and seriosuly injured his best friend. I'm guessing Jimmy. One guy saw the ghost of his dead uncle, one went to rehab for drugs, one guy pretends he's religious for his family's sake, another likes two Spice Girls songs, one went on trip behind his girlfriend's back. Tey're all pretty normal until we get to one guy's secret that he tortured some crabs he got at the beach. I actually think he wrote that he got crabs from a bitch but Stacey was being nice.
Stacey picks the Marine Ryan's secret (rehab) and Jon's secret (cheating on girlfriend). Ryan thinks that Jons secret is worse but as much as I hate cheating, I'd rather not be with someone who might sell my kids for crack money. Stacey will clearly send Ryan home. First of all, drugs are bad, realy really bad. Oh and Jon was also shown in the preview for this episode singing a song during the second challenge.
On the date, Ryan explains that his mom caught him smoking pot. You lying MF. People don't go to rehab for weed, I call heroin! After his confession, Ryan asks how affectionate Stacey is and she says she's very affectionate. She's still breast feeding her ex-boyfriend! Then Ryan asks what her turn ons are. Oh boy, why are men such horn dogs? He is so going home! Stacey talks to Jon about his infidelity and says she don't play that. Jon says it was along time ago and considering his age, he probably did this senior year of high school and hooked up with his girlfriend's best fried on their class trip to Six Flags.
Stacey claims that she has no idea what she's gonna do but there is no type of suspense here. Plus when they go to commercial they show yet another clip of the show and Jon is still there! We're back after another 12 second break, the guys in the house hate Jon because he's numero uno and it's time for the first elimination. Stacey calls ryan up and quickly gives him the cheek. She calls him on his silly questions and sends him packing. He was sweet about it and went about his merry way.
Jon takes Stacey on a treasure hunt of his hot Jersey body.
And then he kisses her and all is well. They go on their date in the wind tunnel which is befitting. Things that blow: the wind tunnel, Stacey Anderson after a strong Ovaltine and this show. Oh and this guy.
The aforementined dork is also known as Colt. He says that Jon is sneaky, fake, boring and nerdy. This coming from a guy with a man bang. Stacey talks to Jimmy, the personal trainer who is way too freakin' serious for this show. He says that he is non- verbal and Stacey says he can't communicate via energy.
Am I the only one seeing the Dorian Gray action going on here? I swear she ages by the episode. Stacey presses Jimmy a little further but the conversation goes nowhere. Jimmy's all "I don't ask questions" and Stacey's not pleased with it. Then she talks to Colt and asks him the same damn thing she asks every guy in every episode. Why'd you tone down? Why don't you seem interested? Why don't you care anymore? These guys have barely mastered driving, they can't handle emotions too!
Joe the Bartender and Stacey go up to her room and lay on her bed and Jon is really jealous. Joe and Stacey talk and kiss. He is amazed that she had her daughter at 17.
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Comments (5)
L Boogie, I'm your biggest fan and even I can't watch this crapfest. You deserve a medal for not only watching it, but making it funny!
1 of 5 | Posted by here4beerr | Posted on May 12, 2009 4:40 PM
If i didn't have to write about it, I wouldn't go within ten channels of this crap. P.S. I'd like my metal in rose gold :-).
2 of 5 | Posted by L Boogie
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Posted on May 12, 2009 5:45 PM
I think Flipit gives out the medals in August. We'll make sure yours is in the mail.
You should recap SYTYCD! Flipit might already be on that one, but if not, I totally nominate you.
3 of 5 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on May 13, 2009 3:22 PM
I've jumped on this train... or should I say train wreck... a bit late, but I've really enjoyed the recaps. I just went back and read them to catch up.
I think I have to disagree about Colt. He sort of has a little something and his song was good too. I'd probably go out with him. That Jon guy is a douche and I would never be attracted to him. Joe seemed like he was pretending to be his dad on his date, didn't he? The way he talked about wine sounded like he was trying to remember or was trying to make it up so that it sounded like he knew what he was talking about. That guy is just SOOOO young.
And I was really grossed out when the guy puked and then came up for the kiss. I swear, I wouldn't have even offered him my hand much less my cheek. EWWWWW!!!
4 of 5 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on May 14, 2009 4:23 AM
here4beer
Thanks for the sytycd vote. I have too much going on so I had to pass on that one but I'll find another disaster to recap soon :-)
5 of 5 | Posted by L Boogie
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Posted on May 25, 2009 7:28 PM