Travis tells Stacey that he likes to surf, skateboard and do anything that has to do with boards. Waterboarding? Travis says that his parents forced him to take music lessons when he was younger-like the past five years. He really said that. There's no way that she can be comfortable. I'm in my 20s and I feel like he's too young for ME. Anyone who wasn't alive when Halley's Comet was last spotted, can't ride this ride. Then the guys start guessing how old she is. One says 44, another says 39. I guess I shouldn't be surprised by this. They're too young to know that discussing a woman's age and potentially adding on a few (44!) is never a good idea. Stacey is having one on one time with the twins and explains that her lifestyle and passion is more in line with younger guys. Wait until they find out about the kids...tee hee hee.
Ryan, the marine who called Stacey old, has one on one time with Stacey and tells her that he's there to make his mother proud. She calls him on that and he takes it back and says he's there for himself. Then he says he wants to slow down and she asks if he's with a lot of women. He takes that back and says no but he's seasoned.
Stacey heads out to the pool and Johnny, of downward dog fame, jumps into the pool to admittedly get Stacey's attention. How...juvenile? Fortunately, no one else was dumb enough to join him. Stacey says that she loves the diversity of all of the guys and then asks to speak to Colt, the fourth White guy she's had a one on one with tonight. Gotta love that rainbow! Stacey confronts Colt about some of the lyrics of his song i.e. she likes guys under 30, doesn't mean she's dirty... He says that it was all in fun and I feel like he's being scolded by his buddy's hot mom. Then she asks for a kiss, gives him a chocolate chip cookie and a pat on the knee. Stacey talks to David, the dude who owns his own house and just needs a Stepford wife to put in it, and he repeats that he has it all and just needs her. Kevin, unemployed lover of all things, has a one on one and he admits that he's never dated an older woman. He asks if she'd like an Australian kiss. He explains that it's kinda like a French kiss but down under. Stacey's confused.
While Stacey's chit chatting, some of the guys get into a debate about age being a number. Well, age is a number. Oh wait, I recognize crazy face marine Ryan. He's the one who started this whole thing-shocker! Maybe Ryan meant age ain't nothin' but a number. Whatever he meant, it was enough to spark an argument. Ok now I recognize Colt, the guitar player. Ryan and Colt disagree on the whole age thing and Ryan makes fun of Colt's ascot. Then Ryan calls Colt a douchebag! Then Ryan calls Colt an ascot motherf%$&er! Colt walks away realizing that Ryan is just mad because he messed up earlier. Ryan says that Colt has been talking crap all night but won't provide details. The conversation ends with nothing resolved. How will I sleep tonight?! Vivica comes back out to get the elimination round started. If I'm not mistaken, I heard cattle calls and whistles when she walked outside. Something tells me Viv will have a great time with the cougar's scraps.
Vivica announces the elimintaion process. If Stacey offers the guy her cheek, they have to go home. If she kisses the on the lips, they will stay. Kissing the eliminated guys would decrease the chances of passing on viral infections but I guess they can't get everything right. One of the twins vlunteers to leave and Sacey's all "I was gonna give you my cheek anyway." Then she took away his baseball mitt and sent him to his room. She kisses David, the tree guy, and everyone begins ooh-ing and aah-ing. I was kinda surprised myself; Stacey looked scared shitless when he approached her. I guess she caught the jungle fever from an earlier kiss. Rich, 'Make me a Man' Bodie, booty shakin' dude, an extra twin, and unemployed Kevin get sent home.
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Comments (17)
I didn't (and won't) watch, but I really enjoyed your recap.
I think you nailed the situation. None of those guys would want to be a serious father figure to four step kids... nor would she be satisfied with any of these shallow specimens.
I hope the space aliens aren't judging our planet based on our TV shows. If so, we are surely doomed!
1 of 17 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on April 18, 2009 12:09 PM
this show is just wrong, why are these guys on the show? There are tons of older women wondering around out there that would date younger guys (i'm guessing). This sort of feels like a casting call.
the whole 'kiss me (insert name here)' this just gets creepier with each kiss, there is just something so dirty about it
2 of 17 | Posted by carol | Posted on April 18, 2009 1:29 PM
There already was a show that pitted older women against younger women vying for the 'heart' of some tennis player. That show really sucked.
Wish I could watch this one, but TVLand won't let me (fuckers)...looks like it'll make a great trainwreck.
Why is the cougar's face always twisted up?
3 of 17 | Posted by itchy | Posted on April 18, 2009 2:17 PM
L Boogie! I'm glad you found a new show to recap, but I am sad you have to sit through this every week. haha.
I may have to start watching it, too, so I can follow your recaps, because in the infamous words of Mr. Guy Patterson: "You. Are. My. Biggest. Fan!"
4 of 17 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on April 18, 2009 3:13 PM
here4beer, the fact you just made a "That Thing You Do!" reference makes me totally want to marry you (you know if it weren't for the I'm already married thing).
LBoogie, funny recap, although I'm going nowhere near this show.
5 of 17 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on April 19, 2009 11:14 AM
Kevin ripped off the "Australian Kiss" joke off the youtube video titled Martine's "Australian Kiss" for Mark Furze (@ 1:53!) SSep6
6 of 17 | Posted by andrinaluvsmart | Posted on April 19, 2009 11:48 AM
JasonR:
C'mon. So far no one's willing to watch with me! Guess I'll have to suffer alone. I used to have a bf named Jason R. I hope you're not him....you're not from jersey and unable to commit are you? :-)
7 of 17 | Posted by L Boogie
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Posted on April 19, 2009 4:47 PM
itchy:
You're not missing much but did you try tvland.com? If you really want to suffer, try to watch the episode there. And yes, there is something up with her face but I didn't want to say anything and risk sounding jealous or ageist. Yikes!
8 of 17 | Posted by L Boogie
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Posted on April 19, 2009 4:52 PM
here4beer:
You're back! You have to watch, no one else will so far.
9 of 17 | Posted by L Boogie
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Posted on April 19, 2009 4:53 PM
carol:
That kissing thing is beyond gross. Plus these guys are young so you know there's STDs floating around not to mention mono, cold sores etc...These guys are in my age range so it's ok for me to stereotype - right? :-)
10 of 17 | Posted by L Boogie
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Posted on April 19, 2009 4:58 PM
Glad you enjoyed it! If she had one or two kids, maybe she'd have a shot; but four kids! None of these guys are looking for that kind of responsibility.
11 of 17 | Posted by L Boogie
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Posted on April 19, 2009 5:10 PM
here4beer & JasonR: Swingin's good, right?
I TiVo'd this show in the perverse hope that my wife would watch it, and I could a) make fun of her and b) satisfy my morbid curiosity. But I came to my senses and decided to just read the recap instead. Sounds like I chose wisely.
12 of 17 | Posted by Copyhacker | Posted on April 19, 2009 6:30 PM
Sorry so late to chime in here, but this was some funny-ass stuff! Way to go L-Boogie, I hope this show doesn't destroy your faith in reality-TV stupidity.
love, J-Mo :)
13 of 17 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on April 24, 2009 9:00 AM
Thanks fam; this show has only increased my faith in the depths of stupidity allowed on TV. I'm a believer!
14 of 17 | Posted by L Boogie
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Posted on April 25, 2009 6:14 PM
Clearly the biggest winner is the twin brother (Grant) who took himself off the show. He escaped STD-free and salvaged his cougar reputation. Lets be honest, if "winning" this show gets you a senior citizen and 4 kids....NO ONE WINS!!!
15 of 17 | Posted by steph | Posted on April 27, 2009 6:43 PM
Have any of these people ever heard of mono?
Or oral herpes?
They have now.
16 of 17 | Posted by Paper Street | Posted on May 13, 2009 10:15 PM
40 isn't exactly "senior citizen!" But, this reality show is probably the most difficult to watch. The kiss off--eewwww! It seems if they really wanted to do a "cougar" show, they should have had someone a little more edgy, not a overly botoxed soccer mom.
17 of 17 | Posted by HaileyBo | Posted on May 31, 2009 7:06 PM