Pimp My Antelope Hide

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Xzibit A: The Cut is Unoriginal

Tommy Hilfiger's biggest break wasn't his innovative Times Square billboard in the 80’s nor was it anything exciting he did on the runway in Paris or Milan. No, his luckiest break was that he was born with a last name that happens to rhyme with a certain racial epithet that starts with an ‘n.’ Throughout the years, Mr. Hilfiger has been rhymed about in many hip hop songs and as a result, his clothes have enjoyed periods of urban popularity. Perhaps sensing that his street cred is waning, Tommy decided the second episode of “The Cut” should blatantly rip off “Pimp My Ride” this week, rather than last week’s “The Apprentice” clone.

So that’s what they did. Shamelessly. But first, there was some reaction to last week’s “Style Forum” and it wasn’t good. Acting like a bunch of people who had never seen a reality TV show before, they were all devastated that someone got sent home (I already forget her name and face). In fact, the old crow of the bunch, Shauna, had had enough and she threatened to pack up and leave. Geeze, I guess no one really appreciates being on TV anymore, with people quitting shows left and right. Shauna’s complaints were somewhat valid, however: “This show is not a fashion show, I thought they’d be stealing straight from Project Runway, not The Apprentice and Pimp My Ride. I’m quitting and going home to my giant mink farm where I’m going to kill a whole slew of those buggers and then I’ll wrap their warm little carcasses the rest of the way up my neck and face to help me forget this whole horrible experience.”

shauna_fur

The gang convinced Shauna to take her coat off and stay a while resulting in a collective sigh from small furry animals everywhere. The next morning they all gathered at Teknicar garage where Tommy Hilfiger arrived to issue the next challenge. But first, boring story time… years ago, Hilfiger designed some ugly bright shirt for Mick Jagger and he didn’t initially like it but Hilfiger convinced him to go with it. After the event, Mick hated the shirt even more. Moral of the story? Listen to your client and respond to their wants. The client for this challenge would be young hip hop star, Fabolous. Unfortunately for Hilfiger, his brazen attempts at re-entering the urban fashion scene were shattered when he pronounced his name “FabUlous,” as opposed to the correct “FabOlous.” Cementing his old white guy status, when he was announcing the challenge (pimping out Lincoln Navigators), Hilfiger pronounced them “cool cars” and excitedly urged the contestants to “Rig them out.” Way to take it to the streets, Tommy.

The one innovation The Cut has is that new teams are chosen each week. Not exactly groundbreaking, I know, but I’ll take what I can get. Actually, it really sucks for recapping/consistency purposes, but as the resident rookie here, I can’t complain. Chris and Elizabeth chose their teams and they were named the Blue and the Orange team this week. Shauna was picked last by Chris and Vlada was the last overall for the Orange crew. Vlada is Hungarian for “clueless bitch” which she personified as she pursed her lips and made love to the camera even though no team wanted her. Ahhhh, that’s what sets reality whores away from us normal folks.

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Comments (16)

ad:

What is up with Shauna's teeth....those things look like they died years ago.

HIlfigger is so goddamned boring it makes me pine for his daughters show. Only he could have an anecdote about Mick Jagger, and make it dull.

And he dresses like an idiot. Does he realize hes like 60? When he showed up in that leather jacket jean combo, he looked like he was starring in the sequel to freaky friday.

Shauna's teeth are gray. Its freaky.

When Jeff said the whole "the world suffers if I dont win" line, it finally hit me. He's the serial killer from Seven. Pretty soon he'll have Princess nice little head in a box. Because you see, HE is envy.

Genevieve:

Cool recap, sounds like a ridiculous show & one that I sure don't want to waste my time watching.
Besides, I hate people who wear fur, I'm not crazy about watching rich & stupid white guys & what kind of name is Princess for someone who isn't a poodle?

Jess:

I noticed he pronounces design "DEE-sign". Like, overly pronounced. Not the "d-zine" we all say. And I could barely contain my laughter at this week's "you're out of style"--but I had to, cuz I was at the gym, in public. Oh, I love this madcap, nonsensical, derivative show!

shelley:

(sigh)..this show is so boring I can't even handle one more episode. I'll have to just tune in for recaps from now on.

And why do rich, white, men have such bad hair?

Caroline:

Your opening comments regarding the true reason behind Hilfiger's fortuitous success should be taught in all MBA programs. Brilliant insight. This business model can also be parlayed into the niche brands, "Hilrican, Hilfink, and Hifuido," although, as you mentioned, they would not benefit from all of the free Grand Puba and Q-tip advertising. Maybe JLo and will hung. As a big fan of Rich Girls, I find the Cut to be a huge disappointment. I only watch in the hopes that we can see a repeat performance of Tommy doing the white man's overbite. He is a turtle. Great recap--if only the show was as good.

tv freak:

I was hoping Shauna would leave because I thought she was being very whiny, plus I never really liked her very much in the first place. I actually enjoy this show a lot. I hate the catch phrase, though. I half-expected Vlada to say "but I'm sexy! Sexy people can never be out of style." lol

btw: Is this your first time recapping sg-dub or have I not paid close enough attention?

tv freak:

btw:good recap

sg-dub is going to be seen more and more on TVgasm, I have just been too lazy with an official announcement. We also have an editor who has been anonymously fixing most of the egregious grammar errors in most of our posts for almost a month now. I have yet to acknowledge her, but she's been great.

GNARKILL:

The only thing blacker than Shauna's teeth is her heart.

GNARKILL:

Hey J-Unit there will now be reality on Wednesday as CBS is moving "The Cut" to Wednesday starting the 6th. Did you happen to wish for a wednesday reality show on a monkey paw?

KatiesHole:

Tommy H. needs to go to a training class on being a reality show host. So does Trump for that matter. 2 rich men with no TV charisma. They are both dull as dirt!

tv freak:

Thanks for telling me J-Unit.

jayneatomic:

Hey J-Unit, can you have your editor correct our posts too? I have seen one too many "rediculous" on here. Thanks! Fair enough though, I think it may have been from a girl commenting on Beauty and the Geek.

chris:

why doesn't Tommy just say "You're Cut"...
this show bites

Krissa:

As a long time design consultant, I was looking forward to the show, but I had no idea it would be this boring and underwhelming. These "wannabe" designers are the best they could find ? Seems every show thus far Mr Hilfiger is choosing the lesser of two evils, or in this case it seems a choice between bad taste and no taste at all...plain horrible.
I'm not sure I'll continue to watch it, but like a deer caught in headlights or an accident, you gotta look ! It's just that bad !

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