Have I lured you in with my deliciously cryptic title? (Because I damn well know the majority of you didn't actually watch last Friday's show.) I have to admit, I'm a little behind in my recaps because, well, I'm human and took a little break from reality TV in deference to watching the news channels. One of these days, a horrible natural disaster will impact a reality show (Survivor: Tsunami or Real World: Key West) and I'll be interested to see how it plays out on TV. I'm disgusted that Big Brother hasn't (apparently) told the hamsters about Katrina. To watch Ivette and April kvetch and bitch about the rigors of their Big Brother lives just doesn't sit well with me these days. But enough proselytizing from me - that's not why you come to this site. You're reading this because you just can't stand the suspense of The Cut and just need to know who the final three are for the finale Wednesday night. That's right, CBS has moved The Cut again (not to mention the multiple times it's been pre-empted regionally for NFL preseason games) and the finale has very likely already aired by the time you're reading this. Funny thing is, you don't give a shit.

I feel good writing this recap... I mean, there's only ONE MORE EPISODE and it's TONIGHT and then I'm done with Tommy Freaking Hilfiger and his robotic speech, boring stories, and simian visage. I'm done with the show that has only confused, befuddled, and angered me as a sentient adult. Yes! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I'll admit, there were two or three decent challenges sprinkled throughout the long, nearly impossible to follow season - and a bunch of the cast were pretty interesting people. But with the inane social challenges that meant absolutely nothing (Princess, yes Princess is still in the hunt and if you'll recall her early "social challenges" consisted of her writhing like the drunken thrice divorced secretary at the company Christmas party doing her Michelle Pfeiffer impression from the "Fabulous Baker Boys" while reciting a poem that closely resembled a 2 Live Crew song...) and the challenges that had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with fashion DEE-sign, well, then you'll understand my joy now that we're at the end. But, we have the little matter of the penultimate episode to deal with - and it was a doozy.