Have I lured you in with my deliciously cryptic title? (Because I damn well know the majority of you didn't actually watch last Friday's show.) I have to admit, I'm a little behind in my recaps because, well, I'm human and took a little break from reality TV in deference to watching the news channels. One of these days, a horrible natural disaster will impact a reality show (Survivor: Tsunami or Real World: Key West) and I'll be interested to see how it plays out on TV. I'm disgusted that Big Brother hasn't (apparently) told the hamsters about Katrina. To watch Ivette and April kvetch and bitch about the rigors of their Big Brother lives just doesn't sit well with me these days. But enough proselytizing from me - that's not why you come to this site. You're reading this because you just can't stand the suspense of The Cut and just need to know who the final three are for the finale Wednesday night. That's right, CBS has moved The Cut again (not to mention the multiple times it's been pre-empted regionally for NFL preseason games) and the finale has very likely already aired by the time you're reading this. Funny thing is, you don't give a shit.
I feel good writing this recap... I mean, there's only ONE MORE EPISODE and it's TONIGHT and then I'm done with Tommy Freaking Hilfiger and his robotic speech, boring stories, and simian visage. I'm done with the show that has only confused, befuddled, and angered me as a sentient adult. Yes! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I'll admit, there were two or three decent challenges sprinkled throughout the long, nearly impossible to follow season - and a bunch of the cast were pretty interesting people. But with the inane social challenges that meant absolutely nothing (Princess, yes Princess is still in the hunt and if you'll recall her early "social challenges" consisted of her writhing like the drunken thrice divorced secretary at the company Christmas party doing her Michelle Pfeiffer impression from the "Fabulous Baker Boys" while reciting a poem that closely resembled a 2 Live Crew song...) and the challenges that had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with fashion DEE-sign, well, then you'll understand my joy now that we're at the end. But, we have the little matter of the penultimate episode to deal with - and it was a doozy.
The show opened, as it (and The Apprentice) always does, at the SoHo loft immediately following the latest "cut." HALfiger angrily dumped Wes and Deanna last week - y'know, the two people who actually DEE-sign clothes (sort of) for a living and the remaining cast was understandably stunned. Liz admitted to nearly vomiting while in the Pit - if only! Ghetto-but-not-really-Ghetto (because how could he actually afford all that HALfiger gear) Chris was emotional but thankful for just making it this far. Y'know, I think I actually like Chris - despite his corny never-ending supply of HALfiger hats. Princess was emotionally drained and joined Chris outside to engage in a reenactment of "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly" with her makeshift poncho and cigarillo. I guess when you're a Princess, cigarettes are too pedestrian.
The next day, the four Cutters made their way out to yet another exotic locale: The port of Bayonne, New Jersey. Nothing like the dulcet sounds of groaning cranes on a dreary winter's day at a New Jersey shipping port. Ahhhh, reality TV, take me away! For some reason Felix showed up with his skateboard - perhaps in case HALfiger again tasked them with schlepping 5 miles for no reason in particular. As it turned out, they would be making a trek, just not on foot this week. They'd be making the 2 hour trip to Staten Island on a garbage scow. Yes, like Jean Paul Gautier and Donna Karan before them, they'd be riding a garbage barge scavenging for fabric, and avoiding pestilence. Only a few days after Liz picked through a razed crack den in the Bronx looking for wearable shoes, she and the others would be combing a gigantic pile of trash looking for fabric. I can't stress enough how stupid this show is.
« Survivor: Chlamydia | Main | Good Morning Pittsburgh! »
Comments (10)
Even though this show is a rip off of The Apprentice, Tommy HALfiger is annoying, stiff, robotic, mannequin like and I never really knew when this show was on, it's been enjoyable. I really liked this ep.
As has been said, there were some very colourful, and interesting characters on the show. I've found some the "Pit" segments to be more intense than The Apprentice" "Boardroom". Especially when Rob Walker was eliminated. Tonights finale was predicable, but still really good.
1 of 10 | Posted by Kujo | Posted on September 7, 2005 6:21 PM
Uh, actually chris cortez designed all that hats he wore on that show, and owns this company:
http://www.wishchristopherthomas.com/
2 of 10 | Posted by uh | Posted on September 7, 2005 7:00 PM
uh, that's true, as we learned on tonights episode.
I apologize for my ignorance regarding dorky hats. His never ending supply of new ones (2 more tonight!) should have clued me in. But then again, 100% of his other gear was Tommy, so I just assumed...
But hey, at least I said I liked Chris though and was pulling for him to win.
3 of 10 | Posted by sg-dub | Posted on September 7, 2005 7:05 PM
I forgot to tape last week's show, then I find out I missed the finale. Hope you will be recapping it.
4 of 10 | Posted by runswithscissors | Posted on September 7, 2005 8:34 PM
Saw the episode tonight. Predictable, but satisfying.
BTW, does anyone know if Wes and Shauna (who are both from New Orleans) are okay?
If Wes needs a place to stay, he's welcome to come stay with me in LA. Of course, I only have one bed.
5 of 10 | Posted by downtown la la | Posted on September 7, 2005 11:14 PM
If asked why I love this website, it can be summed up in this quote:
"tetnus, hantavirus and botulism...Unadesigner."
One of these days I want to read a recap with these words in it: Monkey, marchupo virus and tuning fork. :)
6 of 10 | Posted by Helenann | Posted on September 8, 2005 12:25 AM
If Chris DEE-signed all those hats, it's hardly something that he or any of his lackeys should be trying to take credit for. From the minute he showed up dressed in full-on kiss-ass Hilfiger drag on the first episode, he's been nothing but an irritating faux-ghetto brown-noser. And since anyone who has shown any spark has been dismissed, he'll probably win. Tommy ought to just run a contest to see who's purchased the most of his products and give that person a job.
7 of 10 | Posted by holyterror | Posted on September 8, 2005 4:56 AM
I loved this show! Totally DEElightful. The finale's good, too. Hope they have another season! Who cares that Tommy's stiff! That's half the fun! And they show kreepy Karl again in the finale. Cool.
8 of 10 | Posted by camrock | Posted on September 8, 2005 8:01 AM
Chester NineWester the Designer Molester. I just laughed out loud at my desk and had to tell my boss what I was laughing at. He thinks I am now insane or one of them preverts.
9 of 10 | Posted by Tootie | Posted on September 8, 2005 8:02 AM
FYI...if felix's outfit was "the gayest boyscout uniform ever" then it might have actually looked good, biatch! a better description would have been "only the lamest, midwestern, colorblind straight boys would wearb this piece of crap!"
10 of 10 | Posted by grifter | Posted on September 8, 2005 9:23 AM