At a splendid little eatery called Pinches Tacos, which, if I'm not mistaken, is not a very kind adjective for food, Stephanie meets up with li'l bro for lunch. Evidently, Don Julio's or whatever that other place was called has terminated their endorsement deal with Spencer. Stephanie looks ravishing as ever in a bland, shapeless gray frock over black leggings (which do NOT count as pants, everyone! Okay?!). She slumps down onto a seat and he asks if this is going to be a "poor me" lunch. "No, I just don't know what to do," she moans. He asks who with. "With Cameron!" she replies, all "duh!" about it.
"Wait, who?"
Remember? That guy who was in one episode earlier this season? Who looked (and acted) like an angry elf and pussied out in front of the almighty Broday? Yeah, I only remembered because he was in the intro to this episode. Steph explains that they've broken up, like, 4 times but they always get back together. Sounds like a familiar tale. Evidently, though, they keep breaking up because he never wants to drive to her house, and she's always driving to his house. Let me repeat that. Actually, no, I've already wasted too much typing power on that. What drama those two have! I bet they're fireworks in the sack. Spencer offers some supportive, brotherly advice, which disturbs me. Maybe Stephanie has a will we don't know about.
"Then we fought over dryer sheets vs. fabric softener. It was just awful!"
"Go be a nun. Go join a nun's..." umm, convent? Volunteer organization? Foam party? "... thing." Eh, I guess that'll do. My standards for the English language are supremely lowered while watching this show. Although Spencer does have that good advice, he also has the nerve to reprimand her with this little gem (his slurring, not mine): "Do you know how immature and stupid this relshnship sounds from an outside perspective? Obviously, this relationship is not meant to be." What the fuck?? I really wish that Spencer would be visited by his future self, a la "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure," so that Future Spencer could say that exact sentence to himself.
"WAIT FOR ME, HEIDI!!!"
At PR, Whitney is excitedly telling LC her big news about the DVF opportunity, and LC is so thrilled that she decides to take a big, long sip of her iced coffee before fully reacting.
"(I'm supposed to be happy, right? I should say I'm happy for her?)"
She tries to transform her envy into a happy face until Whit tells her she'd be moving to New York. "Whit!..." LC pouts, as though this is just something Whitney's done to piss her off. "I'm sorry, I'm so happy for you, I'm just..." LC says unconvincingly. They talk more about the trip, which will only be for a day, and Lauren remarks that Whitney HAS to see you-know-who dot-dot-dot. "Yeah, Jay? Yeah, at least for a second," Whitney agrees. "Ohhhhhh!" Lauren coos. "Dream boy, dream job!" folding into Fairy Tale Pose.
Yoga For Misguided Young Ladies.
Later, Stephanie and Camwrong walk toward the entrance of a restaurant. Well, Stephanie walks, Camwrong marches/trudges/stomps beside her like... an angry elf! I'm sorry, that's all I see when I look at him. Stephanie warns her date that their company (Spencer and Heidi) don't know he's coming. "They'll be so hap-peeeeee." Lying bitch. She's throwing a skinned rabbit into a Von Dutch-infested shark tank. As expected, Spencer hassles Camwrong, and Stephanie chides Spencer for embarrassing her. Like we don't all know it's a setup.
He'd make a great abusive boyfriend for Lo.
And back to Laguna we go. LC has enlisted her fellow Beach-er, Lo, to help pack up her old bedroom. They enter the house and hug Dad and MILF. The elder Conrads explain that they just want a smaller house, now that all the kids are grown. This is so goddamn boring. Nobody cares. The girls head upstairs while Lo chirps, "I LOVE to pack!" Maybe that's why she and LC are such good friends.
In the big city of New York, Whitney is rocking an adorable belted black dress for her interview at DVF. She waits patiently until an assistant fetches her. Oddly, take-charge rock music plays throughout the whole sequence. Perhaps this signifies how confident Whitney feels at her interview. Perhaps Whitney is confident that she'll get the job because she's on television and just signed on to have her own show.
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Comments (12)
Had I cared enough about their "relationship" to think on it, I would've assumed that She-Pratt and Cameron already broke up.
Also, LOL at the last screengrabs. It looks like everyone is trying hard to laugh while making pouty faces.
1 of 12 | Posted by LAjane | Posted on December 10, 2008 9:55 AM
I thought Spencer was Stephanie's older brother? I remember him saying he screamed "noooo" and left the room when she was born.
I agree this episode was boring as hell though but the less Blahdrina/Deadrina the better. That bitch is so daft.
2 of 12 | Posted by kissmymanolos | Posted on December 10, 2008 10:14 AM
"I hereby bequeath all of my belongings to my secret lover, Kristen Cavallari"
SO FUNNY, I CRIED!!!
3 of 12 | Posted by hlesczyn | Posted on December 10, 2008 12:14 PM
I actually enjoyed this episode. The Lauren/Lo scenes were so adorable and authentic; for once Lauren was hanging out with an actual friend. Compared to the previous awful episodes that were all about Audrina, this episode wasn't bad at all.
Yes, the Stephanie scenes were completely unnecessary (I've heard that MTV is searching for a main character for season 5 to replace Whitney... using her as a main character is probably the worst idea I've ever heard) but at least Lauren was finally IN an episode, and Audrina only appeared for two minutes.
4 of 12 | Posted by kiwi | Posted on December 10, 2008 12:37 PM
Oooh, if the rumors were true about Audrina making up the Justin Bobby/Lauren hookup just to get more screen time, imagine the hell that will break loose if Stephanie replaces Whitney for a more main role after Audrina's been on the show two seasons longer. Hah!
5 of 12 | Posted by andreak1013 | Posted on December 10, 2008 3:42 PM
Holy shit-hole, this episode whas nothing but un upcomming intro for Whitneys new show and sice it was dull as hell, I wonder how long it's gonna last...no MTV you can not make a spin off of a sidekick. Look at what happened to Laguna Beach season 3 - BOOORING!
Speaking of LB, for me as former LB addict it was kinda sad to let go. As the girls sat down on LCs bed at her parents house, I imagined sitting besides them, asking "So..Whats up with Stephen?". And when they reminissed about good old times, I laughed and nodded my head to all fun memories of Lauren running after Stepehen running after Kristin running after fake stardom.
Thank God for re-runs!
6 of 12 | Posted by gavalcas | Posted on December 10, 2008 4:13 PM
For some reason, I kind of liked this episode. But it might have been from the pain pills I been a popping due to recent knee surgery. Anyway, what is with Whit's nasty, unstyled hair? And that groping scence with Jay was just disgusting. I did stuff like that when I was 12 years old! Jay just reminds me to much of Justin-Bobby.
I am very happy that LC is feeling 'grown up' since her parents are moving to a smaller 4 million dollar house instead of the 5 million dollar house they are leaving. I would like to see more of the house besides the kitchen and LC's bedroom, but hey, who am I to ask for such a thing.
I dont really think that LC was crowned homecoming queen b/c wouldnt that have been on the LB? I think so! I almost spit out my hydro when i read the caption about The Kristen Thing. Thank Goodness I was able to swallow in time.
OH>> and doesnt LCs dad look like Donnie Osmond?? To creepy for me.
After watching Whits interview, I now know why I am not in the fashion industry. With my bad knees, going up and down steps all day are a NO-NO, and unless I can wear my New Balance Sneakers to work.......I aint going! The 'shoe shot' must have been wonderful for all the foot fetish people in the world. I can just picture billions of people across the planet masturbating at once to this scene. What a mess!! And that Elizabeth girl, it was creepy how much she looked like Whit. Well, that is all i have to say. I am gonna take another hydro (or two) and go watch some more TV.
7 of 12 | Posted by fatgirlsrule | Posted on December 10, 2008 7:16 PM
First of all, that Mormon porn caption was hilarious.
Secondly, I liked MOST of this episode.
Stephanie is just too rehearsed, even for The Hills. She needs to work on her craft a bit before I fully embrace her.
And I thought it was a very touching segemnt about Lauren's parents moving-and real. That was their dream home (hell isn't it everyone's?) and they have to walk away from it and the memories that house holds. Sad.
Lastly, I have always like Whitney. Even though she never really got a ton of screen time, she's always been the right mix of sweet, smart and bitchy. And that awkward touchy "porno" scene was kinda sweet-haven't we all gotten silly giddy when we were around the boy/girl we were crushing on?
Anyway, I for one am looking forward to The City-I like Whit, and I love NY. Hopefully it doesn't disappoint.
8 of 12 | Posted by trister | Posted on December 10, 2008 8:08 PM
trister - I completely agree.
I laughed so hard at LC's will because when I was about 9 years old I also made a will. Although in mine, I requested to be buried with my baby blanket and all my stuffed animals and that the rest of my toys could go to my siblings.
Too bad I don't know LC personally. We could bond.
And I say dolt! Nobody else I know does, but I do. Mostly because my father does.
Great recap, can't wait for next week!
9 of 12 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on December 11, 2008 12:57 PM
to fatgirlsrule, its quite possible LC was homecoming queen. LB season 1 didn't start until winter of her senior year. We get to see prom episodes on LB but I don't think we ever got to see homecoming.
10 of 12 | Posted by kevintheomanharris | Posted on December 13, 2008 8:05 AM
andreak1013, I think Audrina already is a main character aka one of the four girls. Whitney barely got more screen time than Heidi and Audrina from the second season onwards.
11 of 12 | Posted by kissmymanolos | Posted on December 13, 2008 8:55 AM
Hi Kevin! I guess that is possible, but you would think that the title of homecoming queen would be newsworthy. Most high schools that i know of require a senior girl and boy for queen/king. anyway, i suppose i really shouldnt worry about it. This show is so boring, there is more commerical time then anything.
Ya'll have a wonderful Christmas!!
I am having knee surgery on Wed DEC 17, so think about me!!
12 of 12 | Posted by fatgirlsrule | Posted on December 13, 2008 11:40 PM