It's kinda freaky that Elizabeth the assistant looks and is dressed a whole lot like Whitney. Like this is some sort of tall blonde recruitment center (although, I suppose that's what a fashion designer is, right?).
"Greetings, my great and worthy opponent."
"... And up here is where we train all of the Stepford assistants."
Sooo... ummm... Whitney nails the interview. 'Nuff said?
Take a good look at this face. This is the Bitch Boss-to-be for "The City."
Although I do have to say, she fails to mention that approximately 60% of her current job consists of gossiping with her girlfriend and deskmate. But whatev's. We all leave some things out during those important meetings.
Oooh, they're both wearing black fuck-me heels. It's totes meant to be!
Next we go to Stephanie's house, where she's donning the most breakup-y of outfits. Tell me, has anybody out there who has ever had a not-yet-serious relationship ever worn something like this for any purpose other than breaking up?
If she really loved him, she'd open the door naked.
Sure enough, it's Camwrong, and they retreat to the breakup couch. Steph tells Camwrong that it's not working out. He says they need to compromise and work things out. She says she doesn't know how it got so bad. Are you serious, MTV? Are you serious? Why are you doing this to us? Even if this was a real relationship, you haven't shown us enough of it to justify showing us the breakup. WE DON'T CARE. I swear to Reality TV Jesus, this is the most lackluster, meaningless and fake breakup to which my eyes and recapping skillz have ever been subjected.
Give this girl an Emmy. And a guest role on "All My Children."
And onto an equally boring topic... LC packing up her childhood belongings. LC reads aloud from her diary: "This weekend I am grounded for bad grades, surprise surprise." I'm willing to wager that was written last week. Actually, the one glimmer in this pile-o-shit of an episode is the moment LC unearths her very first cell phone.
"Boy, I sure hope Zack Morris calls me back!"
Then she finds her will. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, LC, at the age of 16, wrote a will in case she died, apologizing to her mother and declaring love for her father (kinda creepy). I think we can all agree she's a little more morose than other girls. At least, that's what I think until she reads aloud her stipulation that she be buried in her homecoming dress and crown. She does, however, tear her will away from Lo and commands her not to read the back. Wonder what's on the back?
"I hereby bequeath all of my belongings to my secret lover, Kristen Cavallari."
They head out to the deck for one last look and wistfully remember all the keggers they used to have there. LC remarks that because of this, L.A. is more her home now. "OUR home," she clarifies, going for the sentimental. "God, we're not THAT old!" Lo groans, breaking the moment.
I feel like they're standing in front of a giant Thomas Kincaid beach landscape.
Back in The City, Whitney's about to leave her interview. Looks like the producers gave someone a tip-off.
Awww, I don't think I've seen anyone get that title.
Jay comes 'round to give her a hello and they hug and look at each other all giggly and googly and have trouble making conversation. He compliments her dress. Then he runs his hands through his hair. It looks really soft.
Omigod DO ME!
She talks about her interview, then they look at each other with major sex eyes. They kind of grab each other awkwardly and he asks what she's doing for the rest of the day.
"Say me. Say me. Say me."
"Ummm... I'm gonna umIt's really good to see you," she mumbles giddily, interrupting herself. They can't stop touching each other. They sway back and forth and look into each other's eyes and I feel like I'm watching Mormon porn.
Oh yeah...
That's it, just a little more...
MONEY SHOT
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Comments (12)
Had I cared enough about their "relationship" to think on it, I would've assumed that She-Pratt and Cameron already broke up.
Also, LOL at the last screengrabs. It looks like everyone is trying hard to laugh while making pouty faces.
1 of 12 | Posted by LAjane | Posted on December 10, 2008 9:55 AM
I thought Spencer was Stephanie's older brother? I remember him saying he screamed "noooo" and left the room when she was born.
I agree this episode was boring as hell though but the less Blahdrina/Deadrina the better. That bitch is so daft.
2 of 12 | Posted by kissmymanolos | Posted on December 10, 2008 10:14 AM
"I hereby bequeath all of my belongings to my secret lover, Kristen Cavallari"
SO FUNNY, I CRIED!!!
3 of 12 | Posted by hlesczyn | Posted on December 10, 2008 12:14 PM
I actually enjoyed this episode. The Lauren/Lo scenes were so adorable and authentic; for once Lauren was hanging out with an actual friend. Compared to the previous awful episodes that were all about Audrina, this episode wasn't bad at all.
Yes, the Stephanie scenes were completely unnecessary (I've heard that MTV is searching for a main character for season 5 to replace Whitney... using her as a main character is probably the worst idea I've ever heard) but at least Lauren was finally IN an episode, and Audrina only appeared for two minutes.
4 of 12 | Posted by kiwi | Posted on December 10, 2008 12:37 PM
Oooh, if the rumors were true about Audrina making up the Justin Bobby/Lauren hookup just to get more screen time, imagine the hell that will break loose if Stephanie replaces Whitney for a more main role after Audrina's been on the show two seasons longer. Hah!
5 of 12 | Posted by andreak1013 | Posted on December 10, 2008 3:42 PM
Holy shit-hole, this episode whas nothing but un upcomming intro for Whitneys new show and sice it was dull as hell, I wonder how long it's gonna last...no MTV you can not make a spin off of a sidekick. Look at what happened to Laguna Beach season 3 - BOOORING!
Speaking of LB, for me as former LB addict it was kinda sad to let go. As the girls sat down on LCs bed at her parents house, I imagined sitting besides them, asking "So..Whats up with Stephen?". And when they reminissed about good old times, I laughed and nodded my head to all fun memories of Lauren running after Stepehen running after Kristin running after fake stardom.
Thank God for re-runs!
6 of 12 | Posted by gavalcas | Posted on December 10, 2008 4:13 PM
For some reason, I kind of liked this episode. But it might have been from the pain pills I been a popping due to recent knee surgery. Anyway, what is with Whit's nasty, unstyled hair? And that groping scence with Jay was just disgusting. I did stuff like that when I was 12 years old! Jay just reminds me to much of Justin-Bobby.
I am very happy that LC is feeling 'grown up' since her parents are moving to a smaller 4 million dollar house instead of the 5 million dollar house they are leaving. I would like to see more of the house besides the kitchen and LC's bedroom, but hey, who am I to ask for such a thing.
I dont really think that LC was crowned homecoming queen b/c wouldnt that have been on the LB? I think so! I almost spit out my hydro when i read the caption about The Kristen Thing. Thank Goodness I was able to swallow in time.
OH>> and doesnt LCs dad look like Donnie Osmond?? To creepy for me.
After watching Whits interview, I now know why I am not in the fashion industry. With my bad knees, going up and down steps all day are a NO-NO, and unless I can wear my New Balance Sneakers to work.......I aint going! The 'shoe shot' must have been wonderful for all the foot fetish people in the world. I can just picture billions of people across the planet masturbating at once to this scene. What a mess!! And that Elizabeth girl, it was creepy how much she looked like Whit. Well, that is all i have to say. I am gonna take another hydro (or two) and go watch some more TV.
7 of 12 | Posted by fatgirlsrule | Posted on December 10, 2008 7:16 PM
First of all, that Mormon porn caption was hilarious.
Secondly, I liked MOST of this episode.
Stephanie is just too rehearsed, even for The Hills. She needs to work on her craft a bit before I fully embrace her.
And I thought it was a very touching segemnt about Lauren's parents moving-and real. That was their dream home (hell isn't it everyone's?) and they have to walk away from it and the memories that house holds. Sad.
Lastly, I have always like Whitney. Even though she never really got a ton of screen time, she's always been the right mix of sweet, smart and bitchy. And that awkward touchy "porno" scene was kinda sweet-haven't we all gotten silly giddy when we were around the boy/girl we were crushing on?
Anyway, I for one am looking forward to The City-I like Whit, and I love NY. Hopefully it doesn't disappoint.
8 of 12 | Posted by trister | Posted on December 10, 2008 8:08 PM
trister - I completely agree.
I laughed so hard at LC's will because when I was about 9 years old I also made a will. Although in mine, I requested to be buried with my baby blanket and all my stuffed animals and that the rest of my toys could go to my siblings.
Too bad I don't know LC personally. We could bond.
And I say dolt! Nobody else I know does, but I do. Mostly because my father does.
Great recap, can't wait for next week!
9 of 12 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on December 11, 2008 12:57 PM
to fatgirlsrule, its quite possible LC was homecoming queen. LB season 1 didn't start until winter of her senior year. We get to see prom episodes on LB but I don't think we ever got to see homecoming.
10 of 12 | Posted by kevintheomanharris | Posted on December 13, 2008 8:05 AM
andreak1013, I think Audrina already is a main character aka one of the four girls. Whitney barely got more screen time than Heidi and Audrina from the second season onwards.
11 of 12 | Posted by kissmymanolos | Posted on December 13, 2008 8:55 AM
Hi Kevin! I guess that is possible, but you would think that the title of homecoming queen would be newsworthy. Most high schools that i know of require a senior girl and boy for queen/king. anyway, i suppose i really shouldnt worry about it. This show is so boring, there is more commerical time then anything.
Ya'll have a wonderful Christmas!!
I am having knee surgery on Wed DEC 17, so think about me!!
12 of 12 | Posted by fatgirlsrule | Posted on December 13, 2008 11:40 PM