I absolutely love your Lo screen grabs and captions. "THEN SO WILL I." I snorted water out my nose.

I thought it hilarious when Stephanie said at some point in the show that Spencer was "out with all his friends for boys night"... 1 person... sounds about right to me!

I liked it when the bartender said something like, "Yeah, because Mexico is a foriegn country, right?" like she was pretty sure it was, but not 100%.

crt123:

Although I'm not bartender fan, I think her questioning tone was about the legality of the marriage, not about Mexico itself.

As in, "It's because it's a foreign country, right?" with the "it's" really standing for "it's not legal".

Haahahaha! That idiot waitress's response to "Did you know if you get married in Mexico, it's not legal?" was "YEAH! It's a different country, right?" As if she didn't know Mexico was a different country. MADNESS!

Okay, moving on. Did anyone else notice Holly at Lauren's birthday party on the boat? She was having a blast and was in the scene where Heidi was having her heart to heart with Lo. They were literally 2 feet apart (or less) when Heidi was whining to Lo about whether or not she should be at the party and how she wants to be Lauren's friend again. I thought it was so odd that they would be there together and yet never speak or interact. It was almost like Holly was an extra and didn't know Heidi. Made me think the whole thing was acting and Holly knew it was all for the show.

This was a great recap! And I'm so glad you mentioned the skank bartender glamming it up for her "close-up". She even washed her hair and had the Lauren ringlets. The makeup was bad, or was it the bright white light in her face that made her makeup look bad? Either way, she looked like a struggling actress trying her best to get discovered. Unfortunately, she wasn't convincing as being interested in Spencer so she failed on her first big break.

I think Heidi was already planning to go visit her mom and so they staged the fight to add to the drama of her "leaving". When she announced she was going to Colorado, my first thought was, "Didn't we already do this?" Boo!!!

But overall, I thoroughly enjoyed both shows and think this will be a good season. Probably more scripted since it's the final one, but good nonetheless.

Oh yeah and how spoiled and unimpressed did Lauren sound about her awesome party on the yacht? "You put me on a d*mn boat". It wasn't a tugboat! It was a private yacht!!! Yeesh! She didn't even try to hide the fact that she didn't like that it was on a boat. How disrespectful to her friends who tried so hard to give her a good birthday!

I love that the bartender's name is Stacie. With an "ie" too.

I dont get why the marriage isnt legal b/c they married in Mexico. You can get married in Mexico! YOu can get married just about anywhere you damn well please!
I cant stand Heidi's plastic face and her Dolly Parton wig. The 'winner' pic of blowup doll Heidi was Freakin Hillarious!
And LC's red lipstick, YUCK.
Doesnt have LA have any hair stylist??

It wasn't legal here because it wasn't legal there, i.e. they didn't follow Mexican laws - if it was legal in Mexico, you could have it be deemed legal here too. But they didn't get blood tests, etc., which Mexican law makes you do for a legit marriage.

yay! the girls are back! Is this the season that is supposed to focus more on Lo and her personal life? That would be awesome coz she's the reason I watch this show.

how did they get 'married' if they didnt have the proper paperwork for a mexico marriage? Why dont they just get married in the US if they want to be married? Why even get married if you been shackin together???

omg the last screen shot of heidis blow-up doll impression... HILARIOUS.
i first noticed it during the opening credits(which are completely different)
and i swear i had to stop it so i could laugh hysterically for 5 mins.

this season looks fun=]
and awesome recap 0snapp!
i think one of your best yet=]

The fact that our young people watch this show is why I'm learning Mandarin.
When the Chinese become our overlords, I want to be able to rat out other people in our overlord's native language.

P.S. I enjoy keeping multiple beverages on hand for these recaps. Because as everybody knows, nothing is worth describing how funny it was unless you were squirting something out of your nose. When I'm squirting something out my nose, I like variety.

Every squirted strawberry Quik out of your nose? Now THAT'S a good time!

ThatsWhatSheSaid: I think it was weird to include the fight, because I bet it was more about them planning a party at the producers' request and picking a boat. Since it was being filmed, the girls probably all knew that there would be some sort of drama, but chose a boat so no one could leave. At least that's how I took it, but I may be reading too much into The Hills, which is incredibly sad.

Great recap! I have to admit that The Hills is 100% one of my biggest guilty pleasures and I was secretly really looking forward to another season.

I totally felt you when you said "I know the show's fake, but..." I'm very aware that this is not reality, but that does not stop me from planting myself in front of my TV each week and yelling at it, pretending these people are making their own decisions. LC is my homegirl, but I wanted to smack her when Heidi's drama took over her party and she ran after her to make sure she was "okay." It was like watching season two all over again. What was she hoping to accomplish? Heidi and Spencer's drama is ALWAYS THE SAME and while it used to be entertaining, now it's just boring. Spencer does something disgusting and skeezy, Heidi pretends like she has some dignity and the hint of a backbone by threatening a breakup, and then takes him back two minutes later. The previews for next week include her confronting him with the bartender (who is a typical annoying, two-faced biotch btw) and leaves us "hanging" on whether or not they're going to break up....but then the previews for the entire season shows Heidi inviting Lauren to her wedding so surprise, surprise....she obviously takes him back.

Since we all know that Spencer and Heidi will not be together once the the show is not on the air and pretending to be a couple will no longer be their meal ticket, I really hope she kicks him to the curb in some sort of "oh snap" moment during the last episode so we can at least have something entertaining to watch.

One word for Spencer and "bartender" lady:
Spacie!!!

>>>>One word for Spencer and "bartender" lady:
Spacie!!!

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!

I just squirted about a quart of cinnamon 'n spice herbal tea out of my nose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!All over the keyboard!!!!!!!!!1

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!

How is it that no one has ever pointed out to Spencer the hypocrisy of his "loyalty" issue with Stephanie when he has forced Heidi to give up her relationships with every friend and family member that she has?

I may be overly invested but every time the word loyalty comes out of his mouth I want to f-ing scream!

notcreative: Yeah, when Stephanie was going on about him being "so obsessed with the idea of "loyalty" that he had completely abandoned all of his friends, including his sister", she should have taken it further and pointed out how he has forced Heidi to do the same by being passive aggressive.
Incidentally, I watched that scene again, just to get the quote right, and I noticed Stephanie was looking off to the side while she was saying all of that, almost as if she was reading....hmmmmm. After that, it sounded like she was saying her lines....

vegasdarling: I read that the producers put Cameron up to sending a text to Stephanie to start crap. I don't think anyone knew Spencer was going to throw a punch though. It was a bonus for the producers, I'm sure. Nobody tried to break it up for awhile.

Did anyone like Heidi's fug open toed boots that she was wearing as she was marching to The Dime?

Hilarious recap Osnapp (hey that rhymes)! I esp. enjoyed "good cherry" and "Captain Doucheface." I'm glad I wasn't the only one who was creeped out by him...ugh. He looks like one of those 30-something guys on Craigslist who tries to meet up with 18-year-old girls. And boys.

Several years ago on a Carnival Cruise a very,very, really,really drink guy jumped overboard b/c he thought he was on the Olympic Swimteam and he had to dive in. He was resuced and not hurt, but the B-Day party on the yacht made me think that someone is gonna end up jumping to just to get away!!

Good Lord! Heidi looks just like the My Little Pony I just bought my three year old. I want to brush her beautiful mane and feed her sugar cubes. I guess when they went to the plastic surgeon with the ripped-out page from the Toys-R-Us catalog the doc saw the side with the pretty horsies instead of Barbie.

And what the deal with Spencer's rage and sweaty face? Riding the white pony? Ahahahahaha!!!!!!!

Carrots all around, folks!