Last night's episode began with news that Lauren's big twentieth birthday was coming up. Things were all patched up with Jason, she told us, and now it was all smooth sailing. "My only problem was figuring out what to wear," LC said. Hey, did you hear about all that fighting in the Middle East right now? Yeah. That sucks. But anyway, let's get back to Lauren's sartorial plight.

After the "Previously On The Hills" recap, we found Whitney, LC, Heidi, and Audrina (or as I like to call them, The Braintrust) roaming Melrose avenue in a pack. If I'm not mistaken, this was the first time I'd actually seen Whitney hanging out with the rest of Lauren's friends, and she was certainly appreciative of this social acceptance. "Guys, I'm glad I'm skipping school for this day," she said happily. Of course, if there was anyone who knew about playing hooky, it was chronic education-phobe Heidi, who replied, "I love ditching. It's like a thing I love." Yes, Heidi. When you said "I love ditching," it was implied that it was "a thing I love." That's the beauty of a word like "love". It usually means that you love something.

The Braintrust.

Well, since the girls were bored, they ventured into a bridal boutique where they decided to pass the time trying on wedding dresses. This caused Heidi to dance around like a hyperactive Pomeranian, but then again, so will anything that has a price tag over $500. LC eventually emerged from the changing room in a big white gown and a veil, and all the girls oohed and ahhed over her, with Whitney saying that she looked surprisingly beautiful. That was her way of saying, "Enjoy it now, fashion show non-walker."

After the opening credits, we headed back to Teen Vogue where we found the always enigmatic Lisa Love toiling away in her office. You could practically hear her muttering, "Must... have... LC... pick up... coffee mug... from... Rio... tonight..." Anyway, she called in her two workhorses, LC and Whitney, and told them that a booker would be coming to town to cast for bathing suit models. "It's called a go-see in our business," Lisa said. Yes, Lisa. We all watch America's Next Top Model. No need to impress us with your vast array of fashion terms.

Well, as part of this upcoming casting call, the interns would have to get on the internet, search the agency pages, and haul in as many pictures of boys as possible. This caused the girls to giggle with glee, but Lisa Love quickly shot them her patented "YOU SHALL NOT LAUGH IN MY PRESENCE!" look, effectively killing the mood instantly.

"Boys in bathing suits! Tee-hee!"

"Ahem."

"So yes, about those fourth quarter sales..."

Over at Bolthouse Productions, Brent called Heidi into his office and requested that she close the door. Would this be it? Her inevitable firing?? Nope. Turns out there was going to be a William Morris Grammy party at LAX (the hip club the kids go to so often on this show), and Brent needed Heidi to work line with some girl named Grace. However, since it was gonna be a busy night in Hollywood, none of the Bolthouse bigwigs would be there. Just Heidi and Grace -- poor, poor Grace. Oh -- and one more thing: Brent wanted Heidi to invite all her girlfriends down to the club too -- as if she doesn't do that already. Nevertheless, this was all shaping up to be one Very Big Disaster, and I, for one, was excited.

We'll just let this image speak for itself.