That's so rude of her, so... un-Whitney. That's when I got worried for sweet li'l Alex. He comes over to greet Whit, who's already got a puddle in her panties over the lead singer's Australian accent, so she sends Alex away with the excuse that she can't leave LC by herself. You know, seeing as LC is an incontinent old woman? No, LC would be fine in the big scary city, I think Whitney just wanted to swoon over Jay (that's the other hottie's name) with LC. So Jay comes over to meet the girls and - you guys - I cannot understate the hotness of this male. I mean, when you break it down, there's nothing particularly special about him: Shaggy hair, five o'clock shadow, straight teeth. There's nothing I can say to differentiate him from Blahdrina's Pigpen. But damn. There's a certain je ne sais "do me" about him.
All those in agreement, say "Do Me."
Whitney raises her eyebrows and flares her nostrils like a wildebeest just freed from the zoo, commenting that "He. Is. SO. HOT." Agreed. Back in Cali, the Aryan duo party at a "launch event," which makes me immediately suspicious. We can all see where this is going, right? Indeed, twenty seconds into the scene, Spencer "happens" to spot Brent across the room, which surprises Heidi. (not to be one to call people out on supposed "reality," but wouldn't she have known about the event from working at Bolthouse?) Spencer says he's going to go talk to him, Heidi begs him not to, so Spencer says he's going to the bathroom. Good one! So slick.
He approaches Brent and babbles in broken sentences about Heidi living and breathing SBE, nobody having excuses for anything, and, um, what's the point of this conversation? "Listen," Brent interrupts, "I don't understand why, every time you come around, there has to be trouble." He goes on to say that he doesn't even know Spencer, and he's making him uncomfortable, so could he please get the fuck away? Wow, a coherent and level-headed dis. Amazing! (Wait, do you guys say dis or diss? I'm really not cool enough to say either one, even if I go back in time to 1992 and make friends with Will Smith.) Something else I've learned from Brent, our loveable little elf, is that, even if you're not taller than your opponent, if you keep your chin slightly elevated and look down to the other person's mouth, you will always seem to have the upper hand.
Try it!
Back in NYC, Whitney gets drunker as she strategizes with Lauren about the best way to bag the Aussie. She decides the way to go about it is to flip her hair, pop her gum, flash a brilliant smile and buy him a shot. (That's probably what I would do, except I'd replace the gum with a slight arch of the lower back.) They flirtatiously talk about songs with titles like "Kisses" which is just about more corniness than I can handle. He asks her to go out with him afterward, and she replies that she'll go, as long as she leaves for the airport at 6:30am. "You'll have six hours to sleep," he says with a wink, because, as we all know, there will be no sleeping of any kind tonight. Whit excuses herself to go find Lauren, ever the wingwoman, who is texting Brody, probably.
"XO, Britney Canada Whore"
Whitney comes to LC and bounces around excitedly, laughing and trying to catch her breath. Damn, we haven't seen any of the "Hills" girls act this excited over a guy since... well, ever? I definitely have never seen LC act like this. She always just gets all doe-eyed and shy and bobbles her head around when answering questions to a guy she likes. Meanwhile, the editors use the same three shots over and over again of sweet Alex looking all wounded and possessive, a complicated look to pull off. That's why he's a model. But back to the swooning. "He is so......." Whitney begins. "I just wanna...." Umm, I believe boinko is the word you're looking for? Or perhaps mustard the hot dog? Stuff the Thanksgiving turkey? She just finishes the sentence with a wildly girlish giggle and concludes, "He is SO. ADORABLE."
"But... not cuter than me... right?"
Back at the totally not-set-up launch event, Heidi is feeling humiliated by Spencer (what else is new?) and decides to go talk to Brent. Honestly, if Brent is on the short side, Heidi is the size of a pocket sprite.
The guy in the background is like, "Haven't I seen that chick's ass in Maxim?"
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Comments (10)
As usual, the re-cap was much more interesting then the show. Is it just me, or is Heidi starting to resemble Michael Jackson?
1 of 10 | Posted by FatGirlsRule | Posted on November 13, 2008 5:16 AM
#4... mmmmmmm.....
2 of 10 | Posted by MargotTenenbaum | Posted on November 13, 2008 7:25 AM
That scene from the credits that you like has already been shown! It was from when they went to Vegas about when they were either going on or getting off the plane - I specifially remember that shirt LC was wearing bc I thought it was odd that it had a racerback.
Anyway - great recap - the Aussie was hot, but seemed a little on the short side. They are totally setting Whitney up for her show.
3 of 10 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on November 13, 2008 8:25 AM
Brent Bolthouse is my new hero.
4 of 10 | Posted by LAjane | Posted on November 13, 2008 9:31 AM
Maybe it is just me, but Brent seemed like he was in love with Heidi and truly sad that he had to fire her. Even when she was begging for her job back, he got soft. He was tough at first, but then kind of smiled and said he would definitely talk to Sam. It wasn't a huge brilliant smile, but there was a small smile in there. Definitely gave me the feeling that he was feeling the little Pocket Sprite. (Great line by the way!) I was shocked to see him tower over her!! I wondered if he had been standing on something...
5 of 10 | Posted by Thatswhatshesaid | Posted on November 13, 2008 11:13 AM
Since Heidi's "job" at Bolthouse was fake to begin with, so was her "firing". I honestly wish it had been real.
6 of 10 | Posted by murphena | Posted on November 13, 2008 1:46 PM
I always got the impression that Sam is a very big guy thus making everyone around him look small. I bet Brent is about average size.
Great recap. I couldn't believe how Whitney just blew off Alex. So what that he's shy. To me that means the guy is less likely to be an ass and jerk you around.
I loved when Brent told Heidi off regarding Spencer. Too funny!
7 of 10 | Posted by akgirl7 | Posted on November 13, 2008 4:28 PM
Not done the recap (I just skimmed) but I was very pleased to see that you covered the Brent/Heidi/Spencer fiasco explicitly. I am SO glad that somebody finally handed Heidi her ass. Now, as we know from the previews, Sam gives her her job back, but they still told her that Spencer is not allowed at her work functions anymore. Which, considering that her work is basically one giant office party, kind of sucks for her. But do I feel bad? NO!
And thatswhatshesaid, yeah, I was wondering if Brent was standing on something, but in the far away shots I don't think he was and he looked equally ginormous over Heidi. How tall is she anyway? Spencer, I figure, is somewhere in the 5'10/5'11 region and he was nose to nose with Brent. So Heidi would be less than 5'5, I'm guessing. But she never looks that short next to Spencer...
Oh, why do I even care so much?
8 of 10 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on November 13, 2008 10:28 PM
Georgiababe - yep, you are right. We are spending an inordinate amount of time on Brent's height. I think after him looking so short last week and then looming over everyone this week it was just surprising... A theory about Heidi is that she probably wears really high heels so that makes her closer in height to Spencer...Just a thought.
okay, and done! :)
9 of 10 | Posted by Thatswhatshesaid | Posted on November 14, 2008 11:16 AM
That Lisa CuntThroat looks like SATAN! The chinese girl on the phone was probably talking to a customer. Was she suppposed to just hang up on them?
And Heidi gets her job back. I wonder.... did she spit or swallow??
10 of 10 | Posted by FatGirlsRule | Posted on November 19, 2008 5:52 AM