At the LauLo Haus, the lesser Lo is all dressed up for a trip into Lauren's room. As usual, Lauren is organizing her clothes. Honestly, all she ever does at home is pack, unpack, and rearrange her closet. Today Lo looks for all the world like an elf being eaten by a black coral reef.

"Who will make the toys when I'm gone?"

Lau only wants to talk about Blahdrina, yet insists that she's "done" with the situation. Done with yelling, done with being upset. I love when these girls declare their finality on a situation, because we all know that, as a great sage once said, it ain't over till it's over. Blahdrina said eons ago that she's done with the homeless dude, yet she continues to bone him. Lau said she's done fighting with Heidi, yet they still have public fights at das clubs. Here she is again, insisting things are over with Blahdrina, but come on. Does anybody believe her?

"Nope."

You're welcome. I think we all needed a little bit of that today. Anyway, Lo weighs in on the situation, theorizing that Blahdrina acted the way she did "because it was about Pigpen, somebody she cares SO MUCH about." Lauren scrunches up her face as if to say, "fuck that guy, what about ME?" They agree that the way Pigpen has treated Blahdrina over the years (lying, cheating, acting aloof, living up to her father figure issues) is the reason why she believed it in the first place. Lo asks what it would take for Lau to forgive her. Long silence. Hard thought. Cue cards. "For her to actually be sorry," Lauren replies.

"... and the written approval of at least two (2) producers."

In other news, does anybody else notice that whenever Lo speaks, she looks like an angel singing a Christmas carol?

"Fa Lo Lo Lo Lo, Lo Lo, Lo Lo"

Fucking angels. At Epic Records, Blahdrina recaps last week's ep to Chiara, who is thoroughly bored. Blah talks about the incident at the bar, making it sound like she went there just to get fucked up and Lauren happened to be there (totally untrue, we even saw their producers chaperoning). Blahdrina, true to form, whines and moans that Lauren turned the whole thing into a screamfest. Yeah, as though she wasn't the one who accused Lauren of FLIRTING with the nastiest dude in L.A. (I'm sorry to the readers who think he's hot... he's not. He's like a bum who got a makeover from Trent Reznor). Blahdrina even makes her "somebody farted" complaint face. "I just sat back and let her do what she wanted and say what she wanted," she totally lies. Funny how friendships mirror relationships, isn't it?

Chiara asks what Pigpen's excuse was for not "reaching out to" Blahdrina, invoking a phrase on my list of most loathed office terminology. Why do people say "reaching out"? Like, "I'm glad you reached out to me and asked for those TPS reports." It's not an interoffice rendezvous. Although perhaps it's possible to reach out and touch base with someone. AT&T should market THAT slogan. And anyway, if Pigpen HAD called her back, he wouldn't be reaching out to her. SHE reached out to HIM. And by returning her call, he's touching base. Get your shit straight, Chiara. You're on a thin line of favorability with me.

"Omigod SHUT UP O. Snapp! Nobody cares about proper grammar!"

Blahdrina continues to recap and admits that she now no longer believes the rumor, but somehow doesn't really feel better about things. Well, that'll happen when you alienate all of the people who claim to love you. Blahdrina asks what she should do now. Chiara shakes her head, pursing her lips. Blahdrina sighs that she wishes everything could go back to how it was. Chiara keeps shaking her head silently. She's watched enough "Laguna Beach" to know that'll never happen.

"Oh man. Now I have to be friends with Heidi."

Next we hop over to Stephanie's house, where there's a giant woman hiding in the bushes.

That's some pretty unconvincing camouflage.

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Posted in The Hills by O. Snapp at 8:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (14)
Last Comment: sassycassc08 on Dec 8, 2008 12:26 AM.