Stephanie, a shameless nepotist, asks her grandma whether Spencer would still be her favorite if she took a closer look at him. "Maybe it's just as well I don't know more about him, because maybe I wouldn't like him," Grannie says. Ah, so she HAS been to the grocery store checkout line and seen some US Weeklies. "Sometimes life is a bucket of worms and you don't know what to do with them," she says cryptically. Or perhaps senilely.
"What the fuck is she talking about?"
At Bond Street, Blahdrina waits patiently for her newest disaster. LC enters the restaurant, completely bypassing the doorman. What an independent lady! She sits beside Blahdrina, who pouts that everything is such a mess. "I came to hear what you have to say," LC replies, baiting her apology. Blahdrina bows to the hand that feeds her and gives her the sacrificial apology (her pride being the sacrifice, naturally).
"You were accusing me of something that was CRAZY," LC says for the eightieth time. Yes, we get it, you wouldn't touch Pigpen with a ten-foot dildo. Blahdrina agrees that it was a touch of insanity, but "whenever someone is like, 'I SWEAR, dahdahdah'," she always believes them. Well, then she should have believed both LC and Pigpen when they swore they DIDN'T do it, am I wrong? I mean, not to put this "Dino" character in the hot seat, but who the hell is he for her to believe?
If we are to believe the liberal media, Dino is only interested rides from underage redheads.
That's another thing: did Blahdrina ever consider the possibility that Dino wanted to fuck her so he told her a lie that would break her enviable bond with Pigpen? That was actually my first thought during last week's episode. But whatev's. Blah and Lau calmly debate the conceptual differences between what was wrong in this situation, and in the end, LC tells her that over the years, she's watched Blahdrina go back to that stinky-pie again and again, "and trust him with not just your feelings, but your heart." Hmmm. I'm so confused as to what feelings are, if not synonymous with one's proverbial heart. She should have switched one of those words out for "bodily fluids."
Blahdrina admits that if Pigpen weren't in her life, she'd be a lot happier (not to mention smell a lot better). "I just feel like... lost... like I don't know who I am anymore," she weeps. Aww. let me refresh your memory, dear child.
Bony and fake. Remember?
Lauren begrudgingly makes up with her and tells her they'll hang out next weekend. Listen honey, there are TONS of young actresses in Hollywood just waiting to get their big break and then pose nude. Hire a new friend already. All of yours suck.
"Hmm. I wonder if Pigpen's home."
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Comments (14)
That stuff with Nana Pratt was so awful and fake and boring. I can't believe they got their grandma involved in this shit. Unless of course it's the nana that Spencer used to always talk to US weekly about how she wears "Team Spencer" shirts or whatever. Then she's just another hanger-on.
Did you notice the man at Bond Street checking LC out as she walked in the door? Real subtle, dickbag.
Also I read on Perez yesterday that Audrina posted some stupid shit on her myspace or whatever about Lauren basically contradicting her fake apology on this show. I will now stab myself in the eye for knowing all this.
1 of 14 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on December 3, 2008 8:58 AM
Audrina is an idiot. And thanks to DP Hooker, I just spent 30 minutes scrolling through the Perez Hilton site just to see the non-apology. (So who REALLY has too much time on their hands? ha!)
This latest Hills Episode was light boring fluff. When will there be action again? Maybe someone should start "fictitious" rumors every week! LOL!
At least The City looks good. I hope someone at TVGASM recaps it. Is anyone going to watch Bromance?
P.S. Don't feel bad, O.Snapp, about not going to the gym. I've only been once this year and that was in the very beginning of the year. Shame on me too!
2 of 14 | Posted by Thatswhatshesaid | Posted on December 3, 2008 11:01 AM
Wait, was there a recap here? Sorry, I got distracted by all the muscles mid-page 1.
3 of 14 | Posted by LAjane | Posted on December 3, 2008 11:07 AM
Sturm und Drang.
4 of 14 | Posted by gitgo | Posted on December 3, 2008 4:24 PM
I love how Nana Pratt blatantly agreed with Stephanie that Spencer was her favorite. Aren't grandmothers supposed to lie? But she was like "Yeah, maybe you shouldn't suck so much and then you would be my favorite instead."
The show was lame, loved the recap.
Especially the Dino picture. That was classic. Who IS this Dino character anyway...?
5 of 14 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on December 3, 2008 4:41 PM
As usual, the re-cap was much more interesting.
Audrina's sister looks like she was involved in an explosion at an ink factory. And what is with LC and Whit's hair? Looks like it hasnt been washed or combed in a week. Dont they have enough money for a good hair stylist??
6 of 14 | Posted by fatgirlsrule | Posted on December 3, 2008 6:53 PM
"TPS reports"---awesome.
7 of 14 | Posted by texasgal75 | Posted on December 4, 2008 1:18 AM
I really like the name of Blahdrina for Audrina. It's very fitting. ;) It's time for Audrina to leave "The Hills". And since Whitney Port and Brody Jenner are getting their own reality television shows maybe they can take Audrina with them along with Justin, Spencer, Heidi, Stephanie and Holly. I don't like Spencer and Heidi's sisters and wish they would leave the show too. There are so many bland personalites on "The Hills" and that needs to be rectified. Even Lauren and Lo are bland. The show needs some new blood that's for sure.
8 of 14 | Posted by Skylar | Posted on December 4, 2008 8:39 AM
Agreed, Skylar. Granted, the only ep I've seen this season was last week's. But even just reading the recaps (which are awesome, by the way!) it seems like The Hills has run it's course.
9 of 14 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on December 4, 2008 3:14 PM
"Who will make the toys when I'm gone?"
One of your best screen caps ever!!! LOLOLOLOL
10 of 14 | Posted by cuzimbtyful | Posted on December 4, 2008 9:19 PM
I agree - boring episode, awesome re-cap. I love your screen captions!
Am I crazy or did anyone else notice that Lauren's taillight was out when she was driving away from the place she met Audrina?
11 of 14 | Posted by Kara | Posted on December 5, 2008 6:47 AM
Del Boca Vista! Brilliant!! love you O.Snapp your recaps are the shit
12 of 14 | Posted by croutons_and_baconbits | Posted on December 5, 2008 12:43 PM
i got stuck on the muscles for a good 10 mins before i could continue=]
and muscles aside.. your screencaps are HILARIOUS and always make my day=]
hahahaha
13 of 14 | Posted by sassycassc08 | Posted on December 8, 2008 12:22 AM
and did anyone else love how spencer was hating on stephanies outfit when heidi was dressed practically the same damn wayy??
effin pube face
and what is with theyre "marriage"? it disgusts me....
ive said it before and ill say it again...
heidi is a disgrace to vaginas everywhere
14 of 14 | Posted by sassycassc08 | Posted on December 8, 2008 12:26 AM