FIRST!!!

Whoohooo, yay L-Con!! Glad you stuck with us - now I have to read the recap 'cause I was so psyched to post at #1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haha, you sooo worked at mcfadden's huh? i was there when svetlana was there...she was made up like a complete ho too!

Good job L-Con! I thought the same thing when I saw Lauren's name on the screen- Hello?? Do we not know who she is by now? Why not also label "Lauren's breakfast" and "Lauren's dump in the toilet"
I watched the Cram session or whatever it was called after the show and apparently Whitney had also gone out on a date with Brody... just proving the whole scheme he and Spencer had to whore themselves out to every girl on the show just to get some air time. I really hope those girls are done with the two of them now.
Bye Bye Jenn!! I really hope she's off for good now, she grated on my nerves big time.
As for next week... poor Whitney! I think she's my favorite, and most normal on the show, it sucks that she took that fall on Good Morning America. REally hope Lisa Love doesn't give her a hard time for it.

I love Lauren more this season than any other! She's finally standing up for herself and being honest. Does anyone know what happened with her and Lo? What was the fight that Jen Bunney caused?

I do NOT trust Heidi's turn-around, she's too enamored of Toothy McDouchebag to have done a complete 180º.

I don't really understand why Lauren still likes Brody, he has been an ass-munch since the beginning. AND he swapped body fluids with old Jenn (The ANAL-ator) Jenner - It's just gross.

I couldn't believe Heidi actually had the balls to blow JennJenner off so completely. Her whole, "I don't want to be involved... etc." was a total mind-fuck. Yeah, maybe if you didn't want to get involved you should have, you know - NOT encouraged JennJenner to go after Lauren's crush??!!! It's further proof of inherently lame and unworthy JBJ is though - she went in there with an unloaded gun. DUMB!

I thought Lauren did a pretty good job of annihilating her failed sidekick. I also loved the fact that we finally got some insight as to what a back-stabbing bitch JBJ really is. Lauren's better off without her, I'm guessing if MTV didn't force the issue Lauren would have just cut her off like the useless appendage she is.

GREAT screencaps L-Con, I actually burst out laughing a few times. I thought last week's recap was great, but this one was REALLY great - color me Team L-Con! :-)

LCon - hilarious recap! I am psyched for next week's episode. JBJ's apology was so insincere. I love Lauren, but I wish she would have dissed Grody. I hate that she was being so sweet to him. Spencer's toast was so LAME! Did anyone else notice that guy Frankie from twentyfourseven at Lauren's party? I read somewhere that Brody and Spencer's show is going to be a ripoff of Entourage. They are such dumbasses.

I wonder how many episodes are left?

I really don't think I'll be able to make it 'till next week. I'm considering raiding the MTV offices for a sneak peek. Who watched the "cram session" last night? What's up with all of the extra footage they withold from me? Any way, I'll be back to regale you with my interpretation of this week's gem. I just can't wait for Andre Tally next week. Oh, my secret lover...And, we finally get to see Whitney fall!!! Cocker spaniel. Peace out.

OK, Lauren, you know I love you, but I cringed – CRINGED – when you gave Brody a pass on Bunney-Gate & then (nooo!) proceeded to flirt with him. No, No, NOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOO, I cried out in the darkened room. (And no one heard at all, not even the chair.)

Sure, unlike Jenn, Brody did not owe LC much in terms of loyalty, affection or respect. No strings, no commitments; he was perfectly free to join Team Playmate, Team F-List starlet, Team Scientology, Team PetSmart (he’s got to be getting all those animals from somewhere), or Team Loser (wait..). But I still say that it was NOT cool for him to go mack with Lauren’s “best friend” practically right in front of her. Even if Lauren has way more “best friends” than any one person is officially allowed. (NYWord – can you explain to Lauren the concept of the “superlative”?).

Not cool. I mean I wouldn’t have bothered yelling or snarling or cold-shouldering him, if I were LC, but I also wouldn’t have told him that he did “nothing wrong” -- tee hee -- point point giggle giggle brunch. Yuck. I guess B-Side was right 3 recaps or so ago; Brody did get a pass. B-Side – are you the wisest of them all? This is all moot now, I hope, as post-DETAILS, Mr. BJ should be gone-zo. But still. It sends the wrong message to the kids. (heh)

I can't believe that Lauren is actually giving d-bag Brody the time of day. She was really into him during this episode, which makes me wonder what the hell happened to Derek or whatever Mr. New Year's Eve's name is.

AND, Jen's apology was so incredibly lame. I'll take out her Ashlee-Simpson-post-nosejob-but-pre-blonde-hair lookalike self with my bitch hand.

Still not laughing. Will I ever laugh reading the recap again?? Waited all day for it, and then...nothing. Oh, B-Side, I do miss you so.

But daaaaaaaaamn, next week? HA! "And I'm saying, 'Get out of my car.'" I can't even BELIEVE Spencer McNasty said that!! Cannot wait! All I have to say is YOU GO, HEIDI for turning that tool down!

Oh, and (I'll shut up soon, I swear) but I am also already hyped up by next week’s previews. Yup, MTV is just stringing me along like a hamster in a maze.

Two thoughts there:

Poor Wh-wh-whitney!! How ominous was that Lisa Love summons? Yikes! I mean, what is there really to meet on & discuss about an accidental fall? Is the angle of her fall or the method of her tumble going to be critiqued? Is her resignation going to be demanded? (We no longer need your gratuitous tape-holding services, Wh-Whitney). Is honorable suicide going to be suggested? (Wh-Whitney-San! You have brought shame and dishonor to the Teen Vogue family!). Will Emily be flown in to show the girls how one walks properly down the stairs? With a vase of flowers on her head? While reading Latin poetry? And wearing stiletto heels? Questions, questions.

Second: OK, I’m now officially jaded. Just like when my older brother told me there was no Santa Claus. I’m just not buying the veracity of Spencer’s “get out of my car” crap. (What?! MTV “reality” is fake? Noooooo, Lime23. When did you stop hearing the bell, Lime23? When. Did. You. Stop. Hearing. The. BELL.) Sorry, Spencer-Pratt-LA cum random guy in someone’s office, I’m JUST not buying it. You just said that to create faux drama to boost your faux career, and I don’t believe any of it was real. I will not rise to the bait. Even YOU are not that much of a jerk. You & Heidi probably planned it all out the night before.

I have to say, not too shabby LCon. But, who is D-Bo? Did I miss something? And Mgasm, I'm totally with you. Why is MTV witholding important Hills time from us? Tell me that Whitney went on a date with Brody. Show me double dates between Brody, LC, Hodi and Spencer. I want to see these things. All a ploy for us to buy Season 2 on dvd.

Great recap Laguna Consultant! Many many many times better than your first one (seriously, perfect recap, no complaints) and I loved the Jenn's Testicles screencaps! :D

Lauren is dumb for letting Brody back in. Its a bit shiesty in my opinion. If she's going to ban Jenn from her life, Brody deserves the same. Then again, its not surprising. Lauren has been getting played by guys and making extremely stupid relationship choices since season 1 LB, so, then again, its really no surprise.

As for Heidi. I really kind of like her, but then I wonder if she's only staying with Lauren to be on the TV. Spencer the publicity whore is a VERY dumb publicity whore for pressuring Heidi to move in with him, as the only way he'll ever be on camera in the gossip columns is through his girlfriend's role as Lauren's sidekick. I don't know where his logic is! Anyways, if Heidi does move out at some point, lets hope its its Lo that moves in!

I was hoping you would put up that screencap of Jenn when she walked into Heidi's job all smiling. She looked crazy, like a stalker. it was funny.

Errm.....
I didn't mean to put to "then agains" in my paragraph :P

Oh btw good reference to Svetlana! Seriously, no other Real Worlder is enough of an attention whore to cross over into another MTV series! (That said, I love Svetty! She's hilarious)

perhaps the most amazing scene in the history of "the hills." heidi's brush off of jenn jenner. first of all, since when is heidi so dedicated to work (in this case, talking about lauren's b-day party at hyde with spencer-doodle)? "busy busy"? bitch, please. even elodie was able to multitask and toss you a semi-eyeroll.

my mind was sufficiently boggled by heidi's deflection of blame. she should have been a lawyer at nuremberg. now that's a person with utterly no conscience.

and jenn. oh dear. as someone mentioned above, old jenn brought a knife to a gunfight. i still feel sorry for her. even though she was super shady, i find it interesting how lauren is so forgiving of the douche-nozzle losers she ends up dating.

i wonder if her attitude changed after seeing how involved heidi was in instigating the jenn/jenner hook up.

ahhhh. previews from next week: the return of super intern emily. and she didn't look to happy in the crisp white blouse. way to be condescending when dropping science about andre leon talley. hey, i'll still let you wrap your skinny legs around me. blackberry me!

Did anyone else catch the bit of Lauren saying Jenn was the reason she and Lo didn't speak for two years?

Great recap L-Con. I loved the screencaps and the Pontius Pilate reference (brought back good memories of me getting kicked out of religion class in middle school for the 56th time in one semester for re-writing that story from his perspective...).

I can't believe that Lauren is still hanging around with Brody! What the hell?!

Has anyone else noticed that every time Lauren gives a tongue-lashing this season (Spencer when Heidi was too drunk and upset to speak with him, Heidi, Jenn Jenner) it's done from her couch? I can't get past that, it's the Couch of Confrontation.

A few questions about Jenn Jenner: What the hell was going on with that clomp-y walk of hers? Was she wearing big heels she can't walk in? Was she attempting to do the HeidiHo Walk? What was up with her holding her left hand up to her ear when she was walking into Lauren's apartment? Did she have one of those 24 earpieces in there with MTV producers telling her what to say? And finally, did anyone else feel compelled to throw things at their television having to listen to her sickly-sweet whiny voice when she was saying her "peace" to Lauren? Or punch her when she oh-so-obviously was not sincere about that "Well I'm sorry I hurt you"?

Also, hurray for Ashes return! Or at least Ashes' fluffy tail bobbing at the bottom of the screen when Lauren answered the door when Jenn Jenner came over. Team Ashes!

I enjoyed this recap L-Con. The screencaps and cheesy made up dialogue were great!

This is just one thing that really made me giggle:
"Sorry, George couldn't make it. He's relaxing at his plantation on Mount Vernon." :) heh.

Now to the Hills...
I hate to be mean, but when JBJ visited Heidi at work it looked like she had a little mustache going on- that or a horrible job at applying self tanner. It hurts to look at her...god I'm so mean. I do feel sorry for her because she's used by everyone and appears really desperate. She brings it on herself, but I don't think she's got the capacity to come up with evil plans herself. And this brings me to my next point- I dislike Heidi so strongly, more than ever now. I just can't believe her; she was all girly and friendly with JBJ on JBJ's bday ( the whole bathroom scene where they repeated everything times 3). I have a problem with the fact that Heidi acted like she really cared for JBJ's well being and enjoyment, and as we all know she encouraged her to have fun with Grody- Brody (ofcourse JBJ was dumb enough to buy it, eager to fit it),and then how does she have the nerve to act like she had nothing to do with this and dismiss JBJ and be a total bitch to her, then go and be a complete hypocrite to Lauren and bash JBJ. Heidi sucks.I don't like JBJ but she's so insecure it's messed up that Heidi would take advantage of the girl to bring herself up as if the girl were some toy she could then discard. I know, I know Spencer does the same. And Heidi has become Spencer. Heidi's a mean girl! She's a bitch! (sorry, Mean Girls moment) Lauren doesn't need friends like that.

So, that's what I think of Heidi's 180. She's a fake.

great recap L Con, this episode wasn't as good as i thought it'd be, but you def. made me laugh alot anyway. next weeks epi looks amazinkkk

loved it... because i missed the original JBJ birthday-cottontail episode, this was the most drama i've seen all season. anyone think the "cram session" might mean we're only halfway through?

Good job, L-Con! Love the screen caps.
My favorite part: JBJ at LC's door; LC is standing in one corner of her kitchen when the doorbell rings. No reaction. Next frame: LC standing in another part of the kitchen when she turns to answer the door. Smooth editing MTV.

GunaCon, bravo! What the f@ck happened? I've never seen anyone take constructive criticism so well. And, why didn't you do that last week? I didn't know you had it in you. Keep up the good work. Screen caps and biblical references---hilarious! I thoroughly enjoyed this week's recap.
Now, onto important business...LC really knows how to embarrass herself. Why? Oh, Why did she have to throw her head in Brody's lap?
And, GunaCon, I hate to ruin your virtual sexy time with LC...but she gave him the nonverbal
___sucking cue. Ugghh, and Speidi were probably watching and toasting. They're so gross.
I am so proud of LC for giving it to JBunny this week, though. And, so happy that you noticed her testicles. Also, I don't think that Hodi redeemed herself the slightest. She didn't really go to that much trouble. "I was here setting it up..." Setting what up? The champagne glasses? I saw no banners reading, "LC: Master of the Year." And, alas...poor Whitney falls down. Falling isn't the Teen Vogue way of doing things...I hope they don't chop her head off. She's my favorite, too.

Cdogg, when are WE (I stress we, because apparently every one else is too good for Spencer steak) going to Don Antonio's?

Porcelain,

You make a good point. That is very cruel of Heidi. That is SO highschool of Heidi, Meangirls is right!

I wonder how Lauren feels watching this on camera now? On the Aftershow this week, Lauren said she is still friends with Brody. Wow, after the Details article came out? Even after she saw footage of Brody and Spencer pre-planning the Bunney-Jenner hookup? Even after seeing how hard Heidi and Spencer pushed to get Jenn and Brody together?

Lauren has not changed since her Laguna Beach "LC" days. She makes stupid decision after stupid decision when it comes to guys and ends up getting played.

... Porcelain I agree with you!
Heidi is a total Gretchen! I still like her on the show though. Without her we'd have to alternate between Audrina's vacant stares, Whitney's vacant stares, and Lauren's two major emotions (hurt or pissed off) and her minor emotion (deliriously happy over a douchebag boyfriend). Oh how I wish KCav and Roz had been given their own show. (Especially Roz!)

I signed in to say this was a good recap =D

My friend has this theory that Heidi is trying to pick off all of Lauren's sidekicks just so she can be the sole sidekick...

First Audrina, now Jen... maybe Lo next? LOL

Seeing Lauren become more confrontational is a good plus but this episode wasn't that interesting... good thing the recap was better than the episode itself

^ Errr I somehow thought #25 didn't post as it wasn't showing up.

Great recap Lagunaconsultant - much easier to read than last week, and really funny! Loved the 'shat' photos - hilarious! Cant wait until next week, god that Spencer is the biggest knob ever, but I am afraid Heidi will never leave him...

LOVED that subtle change of expression on heidi's face in the beginning as she reveals spencer asked her to move in and she realizes LC isn't exactly impressed

LOVED to hear heidi's hilarious remarks about how CRAZY work is and how BUSY she's been at work, explaining why jenn had to make the surprise inappropriate drop-in at work (also probably angling for an invite to the big surprise birthday bash she knew she wouldn't be invited to)

LOVED how LC (yes, from that point of power in the corner of her cushy couch) told off jenn (yes, in the same outfit from earlier) and jenn was too idiotic to say the words that would save everything: its all heidi's fault! heidi pushed me to hook up with brody! heidi said you were cool with it! jenn, you are dumb dumb dumb

LOVED seeing jenn walk out the door - i also thought she'd be met by an MTV staffer who'd wrestle that microphone off her waistband right there

LOVED spencer's HUGE gold rectangular shaped ring that he artfully paired with his trademark pimp style medallion

and OF COURSE LOVED his response to heidi's rebuff:
"my answer is, get out of my CAR!"

can't wait till next week

LagunaConsultant- you're my hero. You did a great job. :D

I am absolutely, positively psyched for next week. :D I wish it were Monday right now.

Hahaha. I was joking with my friend about how we vicariously live our lives through the girls on the Hills.. It'd be more funny if it weren't true. Ha.

Mgasm...I'm so there. Don Antonio's and a Spencer steak? Who can beat that? This weekend is good for me!

Some people think I'm a funny, snide, lovable guy. Yet some people think I'm a brash, 3rd grade educated pig.

I guess I'm the Kristen Cavallari of recaps!

As far as the episode goes, I still can't get over the way Heidi treated Jenn. Listen, I don't care for Jenn's post-op transsexual ways as much as the next guy, but watching Heidi throw her under the bus was still pretty painful. JBJ obviously thought she had a confidant in Heidi, and I guarantee you that if the cameras weren't there, Heidi would have been a lot more forthcoming. The crazy thing about this season is how they are taping on the fly. Some of the stuff we're seeing happened less than a month and a half ago. Normally with this kind of thing, people have an opportunity to make amends in the meantime, or they can just pass off their actions with a "oh that was 6 months ago, it was different then." Not anymore....

When this episode was taped, The Hills had already been on TV for a couple of weeks. Do you think that people’s actions on the show have, or will change in the coming weeks, due to the fact they can see themselves almost in real time? Like next week for example, there is a real solid chance that when that spot taped, Heidi had already seen Spencer getting Fro-yo and giving a rose to Audrina. Could that have effected her decision? I think it might have.

To me, this is the most interesting subplot of the entire season. What do you guys think?

Wow...was anyone else having issues logging into typekey?

Jen Bunny's lower lip scares me. It is a weird pink color and is like 10x bigger than her upper lip.

I'm mad at Lauren for forgiving Brody...even though he doesn't necessarily owe her anything, it was still shady and rude.

Spencer looks sick...he always has huge bags under his eyes. I'll go as far to say he is one of the most unattractive people I have ever seen.

I think Heidi was just saying she was super busy bc she had no desire to talk to Jen...I don't really think she had much on her plate.

Loved this recap and the screenshots. I normally laugh to myself at recaps, but this one I actually laughed out loud. Good job!

Many thanks and great recap LagunaCon from up North.

I have a question that I am hoping someone could answer... why is Heidi's last name different then her parents? I admit it I checked out the restaurant her parents own and now I am very confused. Any ideas?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heidi_Montag
www.timberlinerestaurant.com/

I thought the first recap was great, but this one was even better! The screencaps were so good! I especially liked the one where Jen says "Cocker Spaniel" and Lauren says "Don't even think about it Jen" I actually had to walk away from my desk for a few minutes!

Most of my thoughts have been said by others on here, but I will echo the pure shock and disgust of Heidi's "Pontius Pilate-esque" attitude towards the Jenn/Brody incident. What was that? She was egging Jenn on and even told her to, "Do what you want!" Never once did she say to Jenn that it was wrong what she was doing with Brody and all of a sudden now she's all on Lauren's side? She is taking great lessons in manipulation from Spencer. She's only worried about her own ass.

And Brody? EW! Just EW! What is Lauren thinking? I thought she had better self-worth than that. She is the laughing stock of Brody and his friends, I bet. She let him get away with that and was acting as if nothing happened. Lord knows what else she'll put up with. He's stupid, sketchy and insecure.

Jenn is EW, too! She is really not cute. Nothing about her is cute. What was Brody thinking? She's even uglier inside, too. Or just stupid. Or a little of both.

I think Lauren should just hang out with Audrina and Whitney all the time. They seem to be the most genuine and honest. Everyone else sucks.

I know this isn't my most articulate observation on the show, but really, there's not much to articulate on. This week was kind of boring. Next week looks AMAZING-K, though! I can't wait.

I almost forgot . . .

LAGUNA CONSULTANT- Great improvement from last week's recap! I actually read the whole thing. I was kinda over the sidekick comments, but I did laugh at your comment about Lauren and her "sidekick discipline" classes. That was funny.

I had trouble signing into typekey as well.

I have to say that this recap was great! I actually went back to the first page to make sure B-Side didn't write it - I thought it was THAT good.

And I also have to say that I think L-Con's screencaps are, dare I say, actually even BETTER that B-Side's!

Good work! - Thanks for the laughs!

First time poster, long time reader...

LagunaConsultant-great job on the recap. You have true recapping potential!

Heidi is a shamless skank, and I hope Lauren does a better job of choosing her "best friends" in the future, because JBJ and HeidiHO are NOT good choices.

KConrad, please sign on and tell us she's learned her lesson!!!!

Couldn't sign in either...

Awesome recap Laguna, laughed out loud several times!!!

"I hear the line at the sidekick unemployment office is quite long this time of year."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Awesome recap L-Con!!!!
I really liked reading B-Side but wasn't personally vested in his leaving so I can say that I won't be missing him too badly now cuz of you! XOX

The only way I can justify Lauren's behaviour toward Brody is this......he's is a HIMBO....attractive, dumb...but still charming. Once in a while a girl has to have a meal of coffee with a guy (can't be Audrina 24/7). Brody is smiley and easy on the eyes. I don't think Lauren ever took him that seriously. AT All. He's just stupid, and she deals with it. Girl has got to practice the boy skills...

I need to know: WHO IS D-Bo?
Am I retarded? (Wait, is it okay to say retarded?)

"d-bo" is that security guard looking dude with the skull cap who's always creeping around the girls. he's actually a party promoter in l.a.

brody is nothing but a ho. "make sure brody's there." what, he's available for 21st birthdays and bat mitzvahs? he's like that group of whore-adjacent girls that always get invited to the hollywood parties.

and he went out on a date with my whitney? hands off, bucko! i challenge you to an sms duel, fucktard!

Thank god, I can finally sign-in again - what was up with TypeKey?

Cdogg, I have no clue who D-Bo is either....

^ that's me. I forgot I wasn't signed in! (and I didn't know you could comment as anonymous, it didn't work before...)

Glad to know I wasn't the only one who couldn't sign in. I've been trying every day for over a week.


I just wanted to say that this is a great re-cap! The screen shots were hilarious!

Interesting observation about the subplot, Laguna Consultant. We shall see . . .

that typekey issue was a drag! thank god we're back on line!

totally forgot to mention something that REALLY distracted me and I was surprised no one else has mentioned it yet....

when LC and Brody were out together at the cafe rehashing the previous night's party, brody kept doing a hands-free straw-grab with his mouth! i actually rewound it to watch the action of his mouth seeking out the straw several times - it was usually more pronounced when lauren was saying things that made him uncomfortable (like the names "jenn" or "jason")

check it out if you still have the episode tevoed (how do you spell that?)

New screencap explains d-bo

I think Lauren and Audrina should be roommates, or Lauren and Lo. And they should all hang out, including Whitney. I do like Whitney. Hopefully this will be the case after Lauren watches these episodes and sees Heidi for who she really is (stupid Heidi!).

If Lauren continues to be friends with Heidi after this... *sigh* I will not understand... :[

Hi -- I don't think Heidi & Lauren are really still friends now. Since, oh, about 2 1/2 weeks ago. (subplot, subplot).

On his blog, my very own favorite Uncle Nick Verreos mentioned a recent soiree wherein
"my dinner buddies included former student, Lauren Conrad from MTV's "The Hills", her lovely sister and her beautiful mom. We had a great time dishing on the show, her former girlfriend, Heidi, and her future plans to launch the 'Lauren Conrad' fashion empire!"

http://www.nickverrreos.blogspot.com

(scroll down)

Note the reference to "former." Uncle Nick doesn't lie, people.

No one is blaming Heidi for Jenn's actions. She is RESPONSIBLE for encouraging her, though! She hasn't fessed up to her faults in the situation and she hasn't admitted what she's done. That's shady as hell.

Why didn't jenn tell LC that Heidi put her up to Brody?? LC has to fidn out...it was heidi's fault that jenn got together with Brody.