And here I thought I was the only one who loved the one-two combo of 24 and The Hills. For some reason Kiefer Sutherland torturing and/or killing people and the drama of The Hills just go hand in hand for me.

Okay, I'll go back and read the rest of the recap now...

WHITNEY HAS TO GET THE JOB & BEAT OUT EMILY.

Omg...Brave Little Toaster mention! :DDD Awesome recap Lcon!!

I said it before but seriously. Spencer needs to BLINK every now and then. I did laugh my ass off when he said he was trying to be mean during Lauren't toast. I love villains that know they're villains.

I think Emily got a raw deal here. Seriously, how much does it suck to sign a paper agreeing to be filmed for someone else's show, probably have a great time during the taping, and then see the end product which is purposely edited to make you look like a bitch? I'm not saying Emily's pompous attitude doesn't bug me, but those "jealous" looks are easy to piece together. Emily could have been staring at the wall, Lisa Love, the ground; I DOUBT she was really all that jealous that Whitney was got to walk, because they both walked anyhow!

As for Speidi.. aren't they together at the moment?

I can't believe next week is the the finale!

lagunaconsultant,

I loved reading your posts on the laguna/hills boards during the heyday of b-side. how wonderful that you're continuing on in his footsteps. I've got to tell you, you do not disappoint. Your recaps are better and better each week.

p.s. Heidi kind of looks like Debbie from Debbie Does Dallas (i know of it from i love the 70s, i promise!)

Did anyone else notice Emily's face when Whitney fell? All the other models look concerned for her and Emily was just like, whatev.

I also read that Heidi was introduced to Spencer by none other then K. Cav. Now, I wonder what Lauren thinks of that?

Great recap. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought Andre was a bum. But hey, he cleaned up nice. (Even if he talked really really fast.)

I've discovered TVgasm at the end of LB Season 3, and since then I've been hooked. I finally decided to break down and post for the 1st time.

Although, I do miss B-Side's recaps...LaguanaConsultant I do like yours, especially your screencaps. Your screencaps are hilarious and everytime I read them I laugh out loud and people around think I'm crazy.

Too bad the season is coming to an end...I don't know if there is going to be a season 3 or not. Anyways I am looking forward to next week's recap.

Great recap LCon...

I love andre!!!

I agree, Whitney's REALLY pretty...but the way she talks is so annoying.

I was really proud of heidi for standing up to spen, but knew it wasn't going to last long.

It was so random that the only thing Heidi could think to say was "stupid car". It felt like one of those silly, anti-climatic things you say by accident...you had plans for something more hurtful, or witty but that's all you came up with last minute.

All together I thought the episode was kinda boring compared to rest.

LCon...LMAO at the ALT comments/screencaps, especially when he shot Lisa Love's suggestion that Whitney wear the Faye Dunaway dress down.

What can be said about Spencer that hasn't been said before. He has NO legitimate argument when it comes to her moving in, other than the fact that he is a controlling douchebag who wants to get his own way and continue to brainwash (for lack of a better word) Heidi and keep her away from her friends. I agree that it seems like he's more interested in spiteing Lauren than in actually moving in with the "love of his life."

Also, saying his toast to Lauren was meant to be "really mean"...wow, really something to be proud of.

Finally...does anyone know whose dress it was the Emily was wearing on Good Morning America? My best guess is Natalie Portman (I believe she wore something similar a few years ago), but I'm too lazy too Google it...

SpenTard is such a piece of shit.

I also assumed he and HeidiHo were still together based upon all of the magazine articles, etc. Normally, I would hope she'd get away from him, but after this season's antics I think she probably deserves what she gets - and if that includes a beating or two, so be it.

SpenTard really looks seedy, and strung-out. He might actually have to pimp HIMSELF out to pay for that habit - at least BroJenn is attractive to the clients, I mean ladies. I really don't see anyone going for SpenTard though, maybe Roseanne or Tara Reid would give him some money for gas.

LiLove STILL reminds me of Blair Brown, and I thoroughly enjoyed watching her get her ass handed to her by ALT.

I still don't like Emily, she's too..... much.

I kind of wonder why when SpenTard bragged about trying to f*ck with Lauren on her B-Day, HeidiHo's reaction wasn't more along the lines of:

"It's pretty hard NOT to validate Lauren's feelings about you when you consistently go out of your way to prove her right. Why is it such a problem for you to accept the fact that she didn't accept how you were treating me, when even you have admitted you were in the wrong. My friendship with Lauren is a deal-breaker, if you can't respect my feelings about someone who is that important to me, I don't trust the fact that you will treat me with respect in general."

"Please pass the crack-pipe, I need to take the edge off before you make me have sex with Kevin Federline. Ouch! Don't leave marks, they don't pay as much! Ouch!"

I hope they have another season of LB and TH, I'm genuinely addicted.

Really good recap L-Con, thanks for sticking with us! :-). I STILL want to know what the verdict on the Head In The Lap Controversy is, although I think you should follow my original advice - LOL!

That was a great recap. You should pick up another show to cover when The Hills ends.

I have to agree with post #10, I didn't think Emily was that attractive. I thought Whitney was the stand out stunner - I knew she had a cute figure but in that dress - WOW. It's a shame she fell.

I loved seeing Lisa Love get treated the way she treats Lauren. ALT is the MAN!

#10
Unreasonably high standards much? Emily's not trying to be a professional model, Good Morning America/Vogue were just to cheap to pay for real ones. She's a reasonably attractive girl, in my opinion. Not my barf in a bag like you make her sound.

I think Whitney is really cute, but was not a big fan of the dress she was wearing. I had flashbacks from the gymnastics classes from my youth--the top of her dress reminded me of a bad (ugly) unitard. Maybe that explains her staircase acrobatics.

Also, I liked that Lauren looked genuinely happy for Whitney when she got the chance to model in the gma show. Refreshing to see one of the castmembers be a good friend!

I've said it before... Spencer is a fucking cokehead. From his haggard face and wild eyes, to his erratic temper, rapid/slurred speech and refusal to listen... these are tell-tale signs of a nasty cocaine habit. Look where they live. People in Hollywood do coke, and this asshole can afford it. Soon he'll join 8-Ball in rehab, or the Chateau Marmont. Whoever said he's strung out is right.

Also, during Heidi's B-Day AND New Years, SHE appears to be pretty fucking yakked out too.

-kizik

Jessica got arrested for DUI and crashing into another car. The story and mug shot is at TMZ.com.

#20:

What the hell are you trying to ask? How can you spot a cokehead?

Well, they usually are Males from the Laguna Beach franchise (Jason, that kid Alex-- Rocky's BF-- and now Spencer) who are so high on their own growing "fame" that they boost their egos even more with the power of yayo.

What are the signs? Like you, I did a lot of coke. And in this case, I truly believe that it takes one to know one. And I know from his behavior that this Spencer kid is on it. OK?

It's a shame that MTV has made stars out of these people. It's a bad example for kids.

-kizik

Seriously, your recaps read like Charles Nelson Reilly on crack.

Rock on with your self-important ass.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!

^
^
^
me

Heidi deserved spencer!
Great recap, LCon!

Going back to what people said a few episodes back about Spencer showing the classic signs of an emotional manipulator/abuser... he totally wants Heidi to move in with him just to separate her from Lauren... he even said it during the episode. And Heidi's really too dumb to realize it. I'm usually willing to give 21-22 year old girls the benefit of the doubt, just because I feel they probably don't know any better but this is getting ridiculous. HEIDI, stop dating him, he's slowly cutting people out of your life, and you just standing there with your confused puppy dog eyes does NOT make us think that you are really "torn" inside. We all know you're falling for his crap.

What is it about him, is he a good lay or something? I shudder to even think...

Oh yeah, and Lisa Love's face is just haggardly... it's almost sad to see that someone who's probably what, 50, is so weathered and beaten beyond her years.

I like your posts, but you should write in the past tense instead of the present tense. It's much more easy and fluid to read.

Lovee the recap!
One would think that Heidi would realize that a boyfriend who would deliberately be mean through a 21st birthday toast to her BEST FRIEND isn't that great of a person. Further, any guy who would put that kind of pressure on a girl to move in with him is a creep. I can't believe she is still with him. It's ridiculous.
Most endearing moment of the night was when Whitney shyly said that people have thought she ought to model "because of her height." Hopefully, nice girls will ultimately finish first.

I like Whitney - I always have. I admire the fact that she's not so smooth and polished and plastic-perfect as every other woman in LA tries to be - she is who she is, and she's natural and very down to earth, not trying to be someone she's not. I actually liked that her sister even spoke and acted just like her. As for the fall, she recovered with the utmost class and dignity, and I can see why all the higher-ups were impressed with her. I have only good wishes for Whitney.

Heidi's standing up to Spencer reminded me of how she stood her ground when she broke up with Jordan last season . . . now it looks like she's caved in the end. What on earth does she SEE in this guy, that he can manipulate her so easily??? Or what kinds of insecurities does she have that she ALLOWS him to do it??? This is seriously an abusive relationship in the making, in every possible way. I'm rather concerned for her, myself.

As for Lauren - yeah, I cringed, too, when she swore on-camera that she would quit if Emily got the job. Not the smartest thing she could've said. Kind of like when she commented to Emily that they were fussing so much over something that was "just a lunch, not even a party." Ah, well, she's young. She'll learn. I still like her.

The contrast between Lauren and Heidi's life was so clear in this episode.
Lauren, Whitney and, yes, even Emily are in this great growth phase of their lives. Lauren,Whitney and Audrina are each others support and safety net. They are nice girls with their heads on straight enjoying the best years of their lives. Heidi, in sharp contrast, is just in this dark shady place. Trapped. Without any support. Lauren warned her. It is sad.

Lauren and Whitney with Vogue editors watching a GMA broadcast. Heidi sneaking away from her desk to meet a dirtball in an alley.

It was the DARK vs. the light and heartwarming throughtout this whole episode.

P.S. Did anyone else cry when Whitney fell? I'm not ashamed, I really was touched by her and her behaviour.

I can't believe nobody's mentioned my favorite part.

The whole time Speidi was in the car I kept wondering why Spencer was pushing so hard for her to move in with him. He's obviously trying to separate her from Lauren, but even that wasn't explaining his extreme douchebaggyness. I was actually a little surprised when Heidi caught it first when she asked him if this was his way of getting out of the relationship so he could mess around with other girls. He was totally pulling the whole "make her break up with me" ploy, so he could go hang with his Playmates with no guilt.

(in the last comment section of last Hills)
In the Maxim article (or was it Stuff?)it states that Brody and Spencer are "privately funded" by some dude they have dubbed, The Godfather...who I guess is their rich friend?
Found this on Bricks: Blind Item: Pay for Play
This guy was a looker, but he never made it as an actor. Luckily, he had a trust fund and was always a big spender so he ran with the hot crowd in Hollywood. His trust fund fizzled out and he was forced into prostitution! He met an incredibly wealthy Mexican playboy whose father has billions, and they became close friends. The playboy worships the failed actor and he pays for everything when they go out. As our guy became more financially dependent on the playboy, the kid with the money started demanding "affection." Now our unsuccessful actor is "gay for pay" and he doesn't know any other way to support himself in style.

Jersey Girl -- interesting theory, but I don't agree. Spencer cannot stand that the fact that Lauren's "got his number" . He is fixated. Psychotic. He won't let it be without forcing Heidi to make a choice.

We need a shrink to tell us what's wrong with him.....it's not just drugs....he's narcissitic, psychotic, delusional.....one or all of the above

I am beginning to think that Heidi is afraid to loose Spencer....ONLY because he is somehow connected to her pathetic singing/nude posing career.

She looks pretty, but she's definitely got some low life tendencies. I think she's afraid a break up with Spencer will jeopardize her slimy career.

I don't see the any love in her eyes. May just dollar signs.

Awesome recap! Your best yet!

I like Emily... I don't know what it is about her but I do

Spencer wants her moving in with him because

1. that puts more focus on him (camera time, drama)and 2. will also help if Lauren doesnt do the show again in getting his own show. Spence needs Heidi for the career plan he refered to in Maxim. Heidi is as much a pawn as she is his accomplice.

love,

Mr. Sniffles

Watching Spencer manipulate Heidi is painful and sickening to watch.

I love Whitney, but I don't hate Emily either. I think Teen Vogue will do something really cheesy and allow both of them to get the position.

What ever will Lauren do if she has to work for EMILY? Haha, I think they will all end up being friends anyway. Positivity all around.

Except with Heidi and Spencer. BOO!

As far as the Spencer/coke thing goes, I don't think he's hopped up.

The two main telltale signs of cocaine abuse are hyperactivity and HUGE pupils. I don't usually notice that when they show Spencer. However, he does seem to exhibit the personality traits of a drug addict - lying, lack of values, short fuse, delusional view of the world ect…

Therefore, I think he's either just a really deranged human being who needs some serious counseling, or he's taking something else, most likely a downer - Perks, OC's or Heroin.

He and Brody did spend a good amount of time with Nicole Richie…

As far as the whole guy drinking out of a straw thing...I don't know if it's a rule, but I have been saying forever how it's so funny how guys never drink out of straws unless they have to.

I officially love Andre. He had me cracking up! He reminded me of Wesley Snipes in To Wong Fu...

Heidi is so dumb! She does not come up with the right reasoning as to why she doesn't want to live with Spencer. It's partially her fault why Spencer is being unreasonable. She keeps bringing the issue back to Lauren...and while that might be part of her argument, she has to realize that is the reason Spencer is going to fight with her.

If Whitney gets the job and if it's in New York, then she needs to get her own show. Whitney vs Emily, I'd love it. As for heidi and spencer battle, it was everything I expected.

I haven't finished the recap yet but so far, nice work lagunaconsultant....

one small side note. i think you may have been in boston too long....

i think you underpriced spencer's apartment rent

being in the SF Bay area, I am (sadly!) renting a rather modest place for the low low price of $2800 a month and unfortunately that is considered a steal around here

more of my musings later....
gotta join the morning commute right now

I was watching on Monday when it finally hit me. Spencer looks like Beavis with his hair and that strange way he holds his mouth open all the time.

Andre Leon Talley also wears floor length capes to Fashion Week, so Jennifer Hudson should have known what she was getting into.

That said, he seems to be a good soul,
with a kind heart

Oh my God tvismylife - you are so right!!!

However, he does seem to exhibit the personality traits of a drug addict - lying, lack of values, short fuse, delusional view of the world ect…

L-Con! I thought I was the group shrink! I'm impressed my friend, very impressed! LOL! ;-)

People with narcissistic personality disorder also have difficulty recognizing the needs and feelings of others, and are dismissive, contemptuous and impatient when others share or discuss their concerns or problems. They are also oblivious to the hurtfulness of their behaviour or remarks, show an emotional coldness and a lack of reciprocal interest, exhibit envy (especially when others are accorded recognition), have an arrogant, disdainful and patronizing attitude, and are quick to blame and criticise others when their needs and expectations are not met.

The DSM-IV Diagnostic Criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder are:

A. A pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, lack of empathy, as indicated by at least five of:

1. a grandiose sense of self-importance

2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

3. believes that he or she is "special" and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

4. requires excessive admiration

5. has a sense of entitlement, ie unreasonable expectations of especially favourable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

6. is interpersonally exploitative, ie takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

7. lacks empathy and is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others

8. is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her

9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes

Narcissists often use Coke as their drug of choice because it comlements the their sense of grandiosity. Personality disordered people have a VERY high incidence of substance abuse. Aside from all my Heidi-bashing, she is actually in fairly serious trouble with this guy. OJ Simpson, for example, is believed by many mental health pros to exhibit classic signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

I'm not saying SpenTard is a murderer, I'm just saying he's probably capable of it and would easily be able to rationalize having done it. I'll bet in the final analysis, he will blame Heidi for how badly he has been portrayed by MTV - he will NEVER understand that people are repulsed by his actual personality.

He's reptilian.

OMG #54!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHQAHAHAHAAHSHWASDJKGNEG

genius!

Regarding Emily.

I love Whitney and Lauren. Don't get me wrong. But Emily is a lot more driven than either of them. How could Lauren not know who AndreLeon Talley is? She had to ask Emily.....

Plus Emily has put herself into a different
world. She's in school full time -- two internships. I am sorry but that is impressive.

She still seems very nice. Why do people hate her because she is knowledgeable, has drive, and knows her stuff.

Guess who I (or anyone) would hire. Sorry guys that the real world. Especially here in NYC.

#59 - Heidi is the Tonya Harding to Lauren's Nancy Kerrigan

I was under-whelmed by this recap. It didn’t do much for me.
But other than that...regarding the whole men using straws...it’s only feminine when they use straws without picking up the glass or holding the straw in place. What is with Brody and Spencer both doing the no hands thing? They’re just too Hollywood for me I guess.

Bluebirdie:

I thought the same thing!! How did Lauren get a job a Vogue, goes to fashion school (or is that on hold?) and NOT know who he is??

she really doesnt belong in this internship. Lisa Love knows it too.

Emily hasnt done anything at all to Lauren or Whitney. She is exactly what she should be.. hard-working and obsessed with fashion.

I would hire her in a heartbeat. Whitney is great too. She's no Emily but Emily is alot to compete against.

Lauren just doesn't know as much as these girls and that doesnt seem to bother her. She doesn't really dress as stylishly as either of them either. Emily is impeccable East coast. Whit has that west coast boho thing down pat. Lauren... well, there's nothing special that she brings to the table.

love,

Mr. Sniffles

#60 Blueberdie,

I agree. Not that we know Whitney's full background and stats, but still. I find it kind of irritating when Lauren bashes on Emily. Like when she was so shocked that Emily knew her stuff. Hello, Lauren who
sucked in highschool and went to FIDM (mail-order 'fashion' school anyone?) versus Emily who goes to NYU and has a professional attitude.

I don't know why people are hating on Emily because she's got her shit together by her own drive unlike our little starlet who gets through life EASY on Laguna Beach fame. (Seriously, how often would Teen Vogue hire FIDM students after their first year?)

If you don't know what FIDM i, then you might not have gone to high school in Southern California. Once a year, FIDM (Fashion Institute.. something fancy sounding) barges into one of your classrooms and starts handing out catalogues for their school. Their main hook is how easy it is to get in because your academic grades don't really matter. Seriously, I fell in love with KCav the minute she said 'Lauren is going to fashion school. You don't even need brains to get in.' FOR REAL! Especially FIDM!

I agree. Lauren definitely isn't as driven. CHOOSING JASON OVER PARIS?! That definitely says it all. Emily is far more qualified.

I agree that Emily is super driven intern extraordinaire...but Lauren does have her own show on MTV, which causes people to write recaps about it and us to comment on her life...she's doing something right.

Emily is very qualified - she should be - she's been interning with Teen Vogue NY since at least 2005.

I'm neither for nor against, but lets not fool ourselves into painting Emily as some kind of uber-driven scrapper who's clawing her way to the top.

I was looking back through the screencaps (the one of Spencer behind the cloud of steam at Don Antonio's just makes me laugh out loud, for some reason!), and in comparing the "pregnancy scare/post-pregnancy scare" pictures of Spencer, I noticed two things:

1) The gold necklace didn't show up till later in the season - he wasn't wearing it at the pregnancy scare. When exactly did it start appearing? ( . . . and why, might I ask . . ?)

2) Spencer's face is much thinner in the post-pregnancy scare picture. In fact, he's starting to look gaunt. There couldn't have been that much elapsed time between the two - three months, maybe? There could be a reasonable explanation, I'm sure, but it makes me wonder more seriously about drugs.

Great recap L-Con!

Lauren is no scrapper herself. She's been interning since 2005 at Teen Vogue LA.

She should know who Andre Leon is.
She should think a lunch she is putting together for the east and west coast editors is of importance... because it is.
It's your chance to make an impression.. bad or good. Emily seemed to get that. This opportunity and it's exclusivity isn't wasted on her.

There are plenty other private school children who would kill to have Emily's spot. She gets that. Lauren does not. Or she does and doesn't care.

If I were Lisa Love and had worked twenty years to get to where I am and then had to deal with MTV and their interns in order to increase mag sales, Id be just a little miffed too.
It isn't fair to those who are qualified.

I do like Lauren. A lot. But it doesn't mean she's suited for this and that is obvious.

love,

Mr. Sniffles

GunaCon,

How do I say this? Are you at all concerned with libel at times? I don't really see any declarative label of opinion on your recap...that means it's not a "fair comment." Do you have a good lawyer?
Now, let me say that I agree with # 10. Emily's face is booty...why did she get to walk?
Also, GunaCon...WTF? You need to know more about the Vogue enterprises...it's really the Teen Vogue way of doing things. Andre Tally is like a God to me...not a homeless man.
By the way...he has lost soo much weight...hasn't he? Good job, Andre. Did he ever do his weight loss show with Oprah?

He was on Oprah to discuss his weight loss a long while back. I guess Ana Wintour kept saying she was not pleased with his appearance and he had to do something about it.

http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2007/02/meet-the-hills-newest-alpha-intern.php

(copy and paste the above)

Yes, Emily is driven and smart and all that. But she's also from a wealthy family in CT and majors in studio art at NYU. I went to NYU. Life was really easy. And I had a major that involved really hard things like reading and writing and attending class. :) (Not that Lauren also doesn't come from money, I'm just sayin'...)

LagunaConsultant - I really loved this recap. Each one is better than the last! Too bad we only have 1 ep left.

I think it is pretty obvious why Spencer Pratt (aka Cockmouth) wants her to move in. So he can do what any other rich LA douchebag does-make a sex tape. If I know Spencer (which i don't) I am pretty sure that is his plan (that and he mentioned it in that ricockulous interview.) That or because live-in couples get 20% discount and free vale at Don Antonio's.

LC-not a bad recap. I think more shots could always be taken at whitney, Teen Vogue, Spencer, well everyone except Lauren.

Furthermore-I love how Emily is most hated by the gang not because she seems like a a heartless brownosing bitch that's goal is unbridled power at Teen Vogue, but because she works hard.

Emily is skinny for sure (we always see her skinny legs walking down the hall during her "entrances...") but her face is kind of round/wide/fat. Does anyone agree? She's pretty but she doesn't have the face of someone who's so skinny.

Anon #80:

Calm it down there...don't be all Spencer like.

Oh yeah, how come ther was NO mention of Pricksters Mr. T jewelry. None. Not even the faux Super Bowl XXV ring on his hand. Either that or it is all normal sized jewelry and all the coke has emaciated Prickster.