Ok, I haven't even read the recap yet (I know it will be excellent B-Side) BUT Heidi said "vicariously" and she said it correctly! OMG, how long did she have to practice? Now I'll go read the recap and hope that B-Side picked up on that too.

Nice recap, B-side(except it's Callaway). I think you're wrong about the automatic faucets; if you ask me, Jason kept disappearing to do a little Birthday blow.

Lauren was a little crabby, but come on. She had to work on a WEDNESDAY, people. The horror!

I may be stating the obvious, but am I the only one who thinks that loser Jason is a raging coke head? Maybe it's so openly accepted in LA that it needs not be discussed; but, I'm kinda surprised that no one has said anything about it. I mean the signs are all there...
the extreme mood swings
disappearing from the table for no real reason
the creepy older friend who is most likely his dealer
oh, and the disheveled appearance. Nah, that's not due to a drug habit. That's due to his awesomeness!
But, seriously, am I the only one?

There was a bad case of the dumb going around on this episode. Jason was dumb for guilting LC, LC was dumb for getting cranky, and Heidi was dumb for...well, existing, I guess.

It was shady that Jason didn't want to include LC in his after-dinner plans. He could have at least schemed some b-day nookie from her.

Oh, never mind. Apparently elljay8, you were onto the same thing. sniff.

Oh, please. Raise your hand if you do NOT think Jason is a coke head. He was high a good part of the last Guna season, too.

We all know the story of the good girl with the bad boy and that if we would just see him like she does, we would realize that he has a heart of gold. But I can find NOTHING redeeming about Jason. Not kind. Not smart. Not funny. No job. No volunteer work (there's an alien thought for that creep). Mooches off the 'rents (with a new Range Rover to boot). Not cute with all that neanderthal hair. Rude. Oh, for pete sake, I could go on and on.

I think MTV may have misfired on the Jason thing. They could manage it if the guy DID have some special quality, but he DOES NOT. We all just hate him and I think after a while it will become more than just annoying, it will be totally lame.

Could it be Lauren has been going to the Britney Spears School of Man Choosing?

Jason's totally a cokehead- either that or he drank 14 gallons of water before dinner, judging by the amount of times he got up.

And aren't these kids supposed to be 19 or so? There was a lot of drinking going on at that table. I drank when I was underage too, I just didn't have a freakin' camera crew following me. I wonder if the restaurant will get in trouble.

Pamsey, I was similarly impressed by Heidi's rich vocabulary! Or something. Yeah, "vicariously" isn't that big or obscure of a word, but for Heidi, this is a HUGE deal, people.

So is this Asshole Week on MTV or what? First Wes, then Tyler, now Jason... three nights of magic in a row! I just hope you all feel as blessed as I do.

Heidi is a Denny's Grand Slam kinda gal..."It's my dream food."

I so wish LC had gotten Ja-sonofabitch the Swarovski crystal encrusted clubs. And then stuck the 9 iron up his butt. Why does he want LC as a girlfriend when he clearly has no clue on how to be a boyfriend?!
Dump him and don't look back LC.

hb

My guess would be Jason wants LC as a girlfriend because she has a tv show and he's under the impression that he is good looking and talented and could have a career in show biz. He's just as delusional as everyone else on this show. Or any other show on MTV for that matter.

Nice recap/episode. Jason is.... slow. Ohh Wahh LC had to work on your birthday at least she came! Yet he seemed slower than usaul. He must miss Cedric. That whole episode I was expecting to see a cake and Cedric to pop out and do an encore to his eeerie fashion show performance.

P.S. and the part " By the next episode, she'll have three children running around and curlers in her hair." you forget the long pink nails and eadible jessica simpson beauty products!!!

And regards to Dan.. after the whole "Oh yeah you work" comment I mentally deleted him from the episode.

I agree, J-Wahl was totally jacked up on some coke in this episode. I could tell his affect was off in the car on the way to the big birthday dinner, he was all bugged out. And all those trips to the bathroom! The sad thing is that LC probably has no clue. She may be relatively smart about her workplace demeanor, but she is a total sucker in love. She never even got a real apology out of him. And remember last week how she told Heidi that she never even talked to him about whether he'd be seeing other people? Ah, youthful naivete. She will have to learn the hard way that you should never assume that a man is being faithful without a thorough cross-examination--especially not a man who has cheated on you in the past! And those golf clubs were a ridiculously over-extravagant present for a newly forgiven cheater! Those things must have set her back hundreds of dollars!!!

Personally, I found Whitney's observation that "Jeans can be so a-dick-tink" to be one of the high points. I never imagined Sgt. Schulz would ever have interned for Stalag 13 at Teen Vogue.

I also found it rather amusing how the "fellas" brought Brian out to golf so they could emasculate him on the course as their official "Golf Beeyotch".

Naive though she is, God bless Lauren this time around. She gave a rockin' birthday gift, she holds a job, and she even refused to fight on J-Yeti's birthday (presumably in favor of waiting until he was sober and would remember her being pissed).

it seems like that was way too big of a fight to just be about Jason not sitting next to LC. i think the fight was actually about all the powdery bathroom trips and the producers just made it seem like it was about ignoring LC.

Amidst all the teen angst and drama at the party, all I thought about was how much I liked Lauren's purse.

Another interesting fact about El Coyote:

It's the last place Sharon Tate and her crew were at b4 getting murdered my the Charles Manson people.

The circuitous route to Blowfish was so Jason could hook up with his dealer first. It pains me as a decent guy that Lauren is with that tool.

If I find out MTV put her up to accepting his weak-ass back, i'll be even more pissed.

Was also amazed at Heidi's use of the word "vicarious."

Did anyone else notice that Lauren said, not once, but TWICE "I love you" to Jason? Uhh, definitely a big jump from last week.

Yeah, Lauren certainly did lavish a couple of the big L's upon J-Tool, to which he responded in Gable/Valentino-like fashion with, "Ok". Man, somebody's got to open her heavily-mascarad eyes...

I'd also like to know who that freaky Howie Mandel-in-a-knit-cap looking freak was at the dinner table.

having worked on a few of these shows, it's most likely they took that route to blowfish b/c the producers asked them to - the longer they spend in the car alone together, the better chance of developing story. It also gives time for the camera crews to advance to the restaurant.
Or, they could have gone that way because Jason really is an idiot.

I'm going to give Jason the benefit of the doubt...maybe he was taking smoke breaks. I can't imagine that Lauren would put up with a boyfriend using coke.

Random Ken Jennings mention, B-Side!!!

"The Geographical Scandal of the Hills" Yes! It's so true, B-Side, I'm so glad someone is finally mentioning it. b/c the Palazzo is purely Miracle Mile *represent lol* not the Hills?! ugh.

To further prove this, there was one episode where Heidi is either going to work or the interview and as she pulls out and turns on the corner, it's 3rd street where the Palazzo is. So really they are just near the Grove, Ross and Kmart, not that cinematographically pleasing ;)

As many have said... J Wahl is most definitely on coke... and I love that Lauren felt the need to spend the whole day with him, as he was clearly golfing all day... was she going to trail him around the golf course???
Also, was anyone else looking for glimpses of Steee-ven and his other roommate (Cedric? Dieter? I forget...) at the dinner. They supposedly all lived together in LA, and LC is friends with them too, so why wouldn't they be at the party?

I love these recaps. Awesome job!
Jason is an a-hole. LC needs to kick him to the curb. I found an interesting article about the lack of work ethics in today's younguns and our little Miss Heide happens to be mentioned toward the middle-end. I hope the link works, if not cut and paste if you will. Enjoy.
Gawd, Heide really is dumb.

http://www.nypost.com/entertainment/entry_level_devils_entertainment_maureen_callahan.htm

My theory about the The Geographical Scandal of the Hills? These two are idiots.

I loved how Dan kept talking to his date while directly facing the camera. Now we know why he doesn't have an acting job. Sheesh!

I didn't get why Lauren wanted to spend the whole day with that idoit either! He was golfing!

Lauren really needs to get a clue. She was pathetic with Steven and now even worse with J-Wahl. I just want to shake her.

Did you see Jason was holding a flask when they were leaving and by the car. He was definately drunk or on drugs.

I just read an old article how those two are together because they get each other since they are both from Laguna. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

Hopefully Lauren gets a brain for her birthday and kicks Jason to the curb.

Can Audrina the Hooters alumnus really expect to become a model with that big ole tramp stamp on her neck? Still, kudos to her because SHE WORKS.

I just don't get the Jason thing. Lauren is such a pretty girl. Not the brightest, but not completely devoid of thought. Jason is not only a douche but I don't think he's even remotely attractive. What is going on here??
Also, I think Lauren might have been upset because Jason was talking to random girls at the end of the table. You could hear him invite them out to the club and then say something like "If you come, it'll be trouble" or something skeevy like that. It boggles my mind that Lauren is so out of his league and he would cheat on her.

I haven't read all the posts, so maybe someone else wrote this....Jason is a coke head. The reason he wasn't in LB season 1 is because he was in rehab. He has all those different cars because he wrecks the other ones and the reason he gets new ones is b/c his grandparents buy them and his parents freeload off his grandparents. Just sayin....

Maybe Jason was meeting Cedric later on at the "club" he was talking about that he didn't mention to Lauren. After all, he couldn't miss his masters birthday! He probably did get get some lovin' that night, just not from Lauren. Remember, his mustache tickles Cedric's bum.

"Could it be Lauren has been going to the Britney Spears School of Man Choosing?" LMAO.

I'm going to start a Hills drinking game where you have to drink every time someone complains about having to work. Drink twice if it's Audrina.

SDfashgal: that article was very interesting. Also it's nice to hear that there is a scene in the Devil Wears Prada that points out how entitled the main character feels. I read hte first chapter of the book and could not figure out why it sold so well. It was all "Boo-hoo, then I had to change out the Chanel outfit into the Dolce and Gabbana. Poor me."

I am pretty much convinced that it is not in fact coke that he is snorting..but heroin. Everything from the look on his face to the way he is speaking and acting makes me almost sure that its dope.

It didn't take long for Jason to treat Lauren like dirt! When he was asking her if she wanted to go home after dinner, I thought 'Uh oh, he's going to go do his own thing...'. Sure enough, boy ignores her at dinner and then ditches her! I'm not impressed with Lauren sticking by the guy. Lame.

*B-Side, great recap as always! I hate to nitpick and it's probably too late to correct this but the legal drinking age in Quebec is actually 18, not 19. I'm a Montreal girl so I know! You can try British Columbia or if you wanna name an obscur province, try Saskatchewan, I'm pretty sure their drinking age's 19. :) :)

i feel bad for lauren. i lived with 8 other girls in college and watched them go through the same cycle over and over again. guy pursues girl, girl gets interested. upon sensing interest, guy starts treating girl like last night's warm keg. girl gets "needy" (aka confused and concerned), guy bolts. girl acts crazy for a while. then girl's friends help build a shaky sense of independence in her and then BOOM, the guy comes back for more once he realizes there might be a slight chance that she's moved on. then what happens? i'd say about 90% of the time the girl falls for the guy again. repeat cycle.

the worst part is that the guy is usually never good enough for the girl. wish i could say i hadn't been through this myself, but that would just be a lie :)

Here's what I've learned from this show:

1) Everyone becomes incredibly stupid and vapid when they move to L.A.

2) "Hard Work" isn't part of your vocabulary when you're gorgeous.

3) Everyone hates their jobs...DUH!

4) People hand out internships and dream jobs in L.A. like they're porn pamplets on the Vegas strip.

I couldn't imagine spending more than five minutes with any of these people without my head exploding in pure disbelief. I would like to reach through the television to strangle each character separately within an inch of their life.

I'm still watching though. As glamorous as their lives may seem the complete lack of work ethic, knowledge and tact these kids display make me prize my mediocre upbringing.

I kept thinking of that old Drew Carey quote: "You know, there's a group of people like you, who hate their jobs. It's called EVERYBODY and they meet at the bar."

I will say that LC does display something of a work ethic...her one mistake was telling them she had to leave for her bf's birthday. I agree, she should have just said she had someplace to be (and really, if she was smart, she'd have gone along).

But yeah, I read the NY magazine article, and I HATE the whole "feeling entitled to your dream job" crap. You know what? I have a college degree AND a law degree, AND I still don't have a job. And it's not for lack of trying. Honestly, I'd gladly lick envelopes for a great organization if there was upward mobility. (Yes, I had that same issue with the book The Devil Wears Prada. Also, why the hell did the main character's friends blame HER when her friend became an alcoholic? But I digress.)

As for J-Balls, he's a druggie idiot. Even Ste-pheeen wasn't that awful to LC. She may be a little vapid, but overall she's a cute, sweet girl who deserves so very much better.

This salad is a party.

I still don't understand why that Dan guy would even say "this salad is a party." That was so lame and made no sense. Does he go to parties were everyone looks all made up and just sit there and do nothing. It's pretty bad when Adurina doesn't even act interested while you are talking to her.

Jason is diffently on drugs. Probably whatever kind he can get his hands on.

I just moved to a town that someone has to die for you to get a teaching job and then when that happens you have to either go to the Baptist Chruch or your family has to work in the school district to get a job there. I can't get a teaching job around here because I am not home grown or Baptist. The people they are highering have no experience and I have six. Ever job that I have been up for someone whose Daddy is a principal in the district or big in the Baptist Church has gotten it over me. Then I have to much experience and education so some place like Walmart won't even give me a job. I am now trying to get a job as a teacher's aide so I can get my foot in the door. I would love for someone to let me lick envelopes for them or go pick up their lunch for them, as long as I get paid.

I ment to say six years. And I am so upset about the job thing who knows what my grammar was like.

I for one am glad Jason is on the show. You have to admit, LC's life was a bore before he came back into it. I think the whole thing is a riot. I cannot belive she is saying "I love you" and doesn't seem to care that he doesn't reciprocate. And her b-day gift to him let him know just how in there he really is.

Jason is on drugs for sure. LC is young but she will learn that she can't count on him for anything. He just wants to be on her show and she is a big fool for him right now.

She will learn and I hope she makes Jason look like a big idiot when she dumps him.

She was a big fool with Steven too. The girl needs a spine.

LC doesn't live in the hills she lives in the apartments by the grove, heres the proof...

Even juicier is the news straight from E! Online’s Korbi Ghosh, who reports:

“[Let’s talk about] Jessica, Alex M. and Alex H., for starters. Sources tell me that although MTV’s season-three preview focused a whole new crew of Laguna kids, those three ladies are definitely returning. Of course, MTV also desperately wants Stephen and Kristin. However, Stephen’s busy trying to jump-start his acting career (and a relationship with a girl in his acting class), and Kristin is also hesitating, given her fancy new role in that Al Pacino flick. Not to mention the fact that, according to sources, her friendships with the Laguna gang are rapidly dissolving.
As of two weeks ago, Kristin and Alex H. were sharing an apartment, but Alex H. left to move into another posh L.A. building with Alex M. It’s a building that happens to be one of Kristin’s dad’s developments. Show insiders tell me their relationship soured because Kristin insisted that everything be about her, expecting Alex to be on call. The last straw went down at a San Diego event for Dieter’s charity, when Alex refused to drive Kristin back to L.A. early for an audition.
Stephen is sharing a downtown L.A. apartment with Dieter and Jason. They aren’t in school right now, but while Stephen has acting classes, and Dieter has his charity, I’m told Jason’s concentrating on cleaning up his act, though it doesn’t seem to be happening. Says a source who works with the Laguna Beach crew, “Promoters are constantly calling them and sending them to different L.A. clubs every night of the week. Jason is always getting kicked out of clubs for getting into fights…He’s wrecked a lot of cars, too. That’s why you always see him driving different ones on the show.” Same goes for Stephen. Word has it that last week he crashed a brand-new car the very same day he bought it!
Lauren, meanwhile, has cut ties with every other castmember except Jason, whom she’s still dating. According to insiders, she and Kristin did make up months ago, but they’re back to being enemies, maybe, I’m told, because they both hooked up with Stephen again over the summer.
Lauren’s spinoff is supposedly similar to MTV’s PoweR Girls, except that it follows her and friend Heidi (who is hated by all of Lauren’s other friends) around Los Angeles. The spinoff is being called The Hills–as in the Hollywood Hills–and MTV plans to show the exterior of some random Hollywood Hills home as if it’s really hers. The truth? She’s living in an apartment by L.A. shopping complex the Grove!”

This episode would definitely have been better titled "COCAINE".
There was a lot going on that MTV didn't show.

OK, you're not gonna believe this, but I just saw The Devil Wears Prada, and there was a scene where the protagonist MISSES HER BOYFRIEND'S BIRTHDAY PARTY because she (OH NO!) has to WORK.

What is UP with this???? I can guaran-damn-tee that I had to work on ALL of my boyfriend's birthdays. I've even had to work on my OWN birthday! Why? IT'S CALLED A JOB! Maybe it's a Midwestern thing, but jeez, I do not understand this.

Hey, this salad is a party.

Jason is 19, with a 40 year old beard!!!

I was really disappointed to not see Cedric. Whats with all these comments with people saying "oh I can't beleive lauren puts up with jason"

Lauren isn't that good looking, she's pretty but also plain and average. Maybe people who live in parts of america where people don't make an effort to keep in shape can't see that. And when a group of people come out for someone's birthday you would expect that they would get to spend some time with him, he wouldn't be attached at the hip to his boring girlfriend and her stupid friends.

J-Wahl's drinking/coke habit makes for great TV! Its disappointing MTV isn't playing up the drug use more. It would be almost as great as when Ryan Seacrest show'd up on Taradise about three tabs deep.

Coked up Jason rules...the Hills was so damned boring until he showed up. L.C. is just too vanilla...more Heidi and J. Wahl plz. Oh, and I think he was asking the random skank at the endo of the table if she wanted to move in with 'the three of them.' Classy!

'this salad's like a party' has become my new life motto (unless tomorrow evening i hear something a little more brilliant).

also, heidi reminds me of tara reid.

When Audrina's phone rang why was Dan trying to act polite and sort of ticked off when he told her to answer the phone. He said something like "sure answer it, it's the right thing to do" when she asked if he minded. He's tone was like we are on a date you shouldn't be taking calls, but wasn't he the one who just checked his messages right there in front of her for like an hour. That date was a wreck when they walked out the door.

Jason and Heidi make the show if it wasn't for them it wouldn't be intresting. Let's face it LC, Audrina, Wh-Wh-Wh-Whitney, Brian, and Jordan are all boring. At least Heidi makes everyone think they are smart and Jason gives us the I can't believe he just did that right then when he knows there are Cameras fliming his every move. I am sure part of that is because after a while you forget that they are there and the other part is his drug habit.
I read somewhere that Jason went to Rehab again and is doing better. Lets hope so for LC sake and his.

Why would she buy him golf clubs? Does he deserve her buying him $1000 golf clubs? He obviously has treated her so well in the past that she deserves them. Poor girl.

Jason probably laughs. All he has to do is make a few unintelligible noises at a girl and they start spending money left and right and doing other things.
Too bad there's not an intructional video for girls on 'how not to get played'. They could show it in schools along with videos about STD awareness.

The fact that Jason is a cokehead is definitely obvious. That's the first thing I thought of when he went to that older, oddly out of place man to the bathroom repeatedly. He was obviously goin to snort some lines to really get his party started.

Another little observation i've made, I think Jason really wants to bang Audrina. If u notice he always acts really odd when he is in her presence or when she walks into a room. A lot of times he won't even look her in the eye. He shows all of the obvious signs of "I know I'm ur boyfriend but I would really like to bang ur friend so I must avoid them at all times to not look like I want them" syndrome. The only reason I brought that up is that it appears that LC will be another victim of thinking they can change a dog who doesn't wanna be changed....he may treat her a little better than the rest of the girls but it's obvious she'll fall victim to being the girlfriend or wife of a man who "loves her but just likes to pipe other attractive females from time to time."

Also, it pains me to even watch Heidi on television. She is by far one of the stupidest and saddest individuals i've ever been exposed to in my life. It's hard to accept sometimes that people like her exist.