This delightful episode of douchebag heights begins with...wha? Broahday and Kristin on a DATE? Yeah, I guess so.

To our fleeting youth.

Broahday keeps obnoxiously calling Kristin "Mrs. Bobby." Very witty. I guess we should call you...Mr. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome? Sorry, "EX- Mr. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome." The Witticisms keep coming!

Of Course, Kristin is wearing some kind of ruffled, beige debacle that makes her look like an aryan doily.

I liked it because it reminded me of Coral.

Obviously, Fetal Alcohol Jayde would be pissed if she knew about Kristin and Broahday eating scallops together. Giggle, giggle! These kids are like, totally naughty! Kristin is flirting with Broahday and he calls it out, though he's not exactly shying away from it. Really? Was everything leading up to this?

It's like my shoulder is getting eaten by a sponge.

And, cue "Unwritten." Blarf.

At Casa Marriage is a social and pychological death and then some, Enzo is back over, AGAIN. Really, where the FUCK are this kid's parents? HBUD can't even tie her shoes much watch an underaged child. And Spence? Well, Enzo would look great inside a crusty ciabatta roll, with some honey dijon...

Then they bitch about babies: HBUD wants them, Spence does not. NO shit- isn't that the ONLY thing they talk about nowadays? Does HBUD even have genitalia, or is it just smooth and shiny like a barbie doll down there?

Next, Blah Dead is boring Troll with news of...surprise! Another renedez-vous with this show's most psychologically ineligible bachelor, Justin Bobby.

Don't drop the diet coke, red straw...what?

Troll's about ready to ring Blah-Dead's neck with this bullshit. Blah dead keeps whining about the last time her and Justin Bobby met up, where he fed her some lines and (of course) she bought it. Troll, please hit her with your little munchkin hands. Do it for me...

it's so fucking tempting...

Blah Dead doesn't have "That" chemistry with anyone else, though! You know, the one that's tinged with ambiguity and condescension! Ah, love.

At Casa Homewrecking whore, Kristin has her BEST BUD Stacie over again. You know, because she has nothing better to do. Wasn't she once a bartender? Or like, at least a barback? Doesn't she need, like another track of hair extensions put in, or something? Nope. Just eatin' yogurt with Kristin.

Notice the prop books in the upper right hand corner!

it's hard to navigate the complex mind of Brody Jenner. Right ladies? I know, so confusing. Is Kristin a rebound? A friend? A life partner? Or none of the above? Probably the latter, though I'm hoping he proposes during the season finale.

But even better- MAN, we get to hang with the GORGON that is Brody's Mom. Man, this woman is like the cat lady, only with astringier hair weave.

And sorta looks like Fetal Alcohol Jayde. Odd.

Ahh, lunch with a living freak. I wonder what that's like? Turns out, it's a lot about talking about relationships and Laguna Beach. And Embarrassing Brody.

hiding his face from the cameras? This must be really bad.

No, THIS is really bad:

Note the douchey shirt and lack of soul. Like Mother like son!

For transitional purposes, the asses of waitresses.

Ah, hollywood.

Oh, this transition is extra special because it takes Spencer and Paul Bunyan to Beverly Hills for a vasectomy consultation. I like this scene a lot because it shows the depth of Spencer's idiocy. But- I'm blowing my load (heheheh). They go to Dr. Safir's office...

(plug plug)

Wow, this small waiting room isn't big enough for these two douchebags. Spence starts by mocking the clipboard (what?).

But they can't BOTH be Lenny in The Hills' Production of "Of Mice and Men."

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Posted in The Hills by Monamonzano at 11:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Last Comment: flybsbgirl on Dec 4, 2009 04:37 PM.