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Stephanie doesn't seem too worried about it, asking, "How would she find out?" Then Blahdrina twitches and squints her eyes, as if pondering the best way to say, "You do know we're famous, right?" or even, "You do know that we're catty bitches, right?"

At Bolthouse, Heidi's spending the day dressed up like Stevie Nicks and trots over to Kimberly's desk to show off her hair extensions and old-lady flowy shirt. They chat about an upcoming event and Heidi says she's going to drag along her old ball 'n' chain. Kimmy, having pulled a mini-Britney comeback and looking much fresher tonight, suggests that Heidi and Spence have fun together. Hmm. "I know!" Heidi says, as though the thought never occurred to her to have a good time with her significant other. On the other hand, I guess each day free from the bonds of a marriage to Spencer is a good one.

Channeling Gladriel

Heidi mentions they'll be going out that night too. "We can stay in when we're old," she surmises. Yeah, or when your fame runs out and you have no more money for coke 'n' collagen. "Yeah, I'm not into the whole staying-in thing," Kimmy says. "AT ALL." Yeah, we know, we saw the unfortunate evidence of that last week.

Unlikely Duo Of The Week Blahdrina and Lo are lunching at Fred Segal and studying hard for their future lives as trophy wives with nothing better to do. They chat awkwardly about silverware and their shared sensation of thirst. As far as I can gather, between the two of them there are two forks, two knives and only one thing in common, and that thing isn't even Stateside right now. Our girls rock two looks tonight: Lo in her Nicole Richie best, and Blahdrina donning her aviating-biker-whore... best.

"All I have to do is have a baby, then everyone will be GLAD I'm losing weight."

"Agreed."

They discuss the Pigpen situation and Lo commands that, at this age, Blahdrina must make decisions for herself. Blahdrina agrees to do whatever Lo just said she should do. After a few long seconds of silence, Lo nervously sings nothingness: "La, la la..." Hahaha, okay maybe these two really aren't meant to be friends. Perhaps to ease the tension, Blahdrina suggests they go to Goa that night. I smell a confrontation!

Then Blahdrina gasps and says she must tell Lo about Stephanie and Duhg. Ahhhh, so THIS is what she meant when she was twitching and trying not to say what she really meant. What she really meant was, "I WILL TELL. ME. I WILL TELL. TOO BAD YOU JUST TOLD ME." Lo practically jumps out of her seat with the most appropriate reaction we've ever seen on this show. Kudos to that. She is shocked, SHOCKED that Duhg would think to pull something like this with his pretty, blank little head. "I just don't know why you'd want sloppy seconds," Blahdrina says disgustedly. My question is, who's the sloppy one in that duo? It's not the seconds, I'll tell ya that.

"Allow me to cup your chin, my sweet."

At Goa-rhymes-with-boa, the ladies take their rightful places in the seat LC would usually occupy as Spencer and Heidi roll in. Oh golly, what a fucking surprise! I roll my eyes as I usually do around this time on Monday nights as the quartet perform their weekly "Oh dear, should I talk to them? I simply cannot believe they're here!" routine. The blonde lovers approach and as Heidi and Blah embrace, Heidi grabs the back of Blah's head as though she is about to A) make out with her, B) push her head down into her crotch or C) slam her head into the table with one deft blow. Unfortunately, none of the above is accomplished and instead, they just talk about how crazy it is to run into each other like this. Yeah, totally rando!

Heidi and Blahdrina reminisce about the good ole days and gush about how much fun they used to have as underage starlets. Funny how Spencer just shuts up once his archenemy isn't around, huh? Lo looks bored and pissed, gazing at her drink like it's her only friend. Blahdrina tells Heidi about the whole Stephanie/Duhg situation and I shake my head like an old church lady hearing tales of sin. Mental note: never tell Blahdrina ANYTHING.

Haha, yeah, Heidi, that's cute of you. She expresses surprise at the fact that Steph would do that with LC's "high school sweetheart," which is also funny because it makes me wonder what Colletti and Wahler would say to that. "I just... I would NOT do that," Heidi scoffs. Apparently there are unforeseen limits to Heidi's backstabbing. Who knew?

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Posted in The Hills , The Hills by O. Snapp at 10:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (14)
Last Comment: purplepixie on Sep 28, 2008 09:57 PM.