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They wrap up the convo with some Pigpen talk, then Heidi invites the two of them out to Bolthouse's upcoming X-Games party. Blahdrina happily accepts, while Lo chokes on her Jack and ginger, unable to defend herself against the planning of an unholy friendship union.

"I did NOT agree to this."

Hey guys, remember that Spencer exists? I know, it's kind of a bummer, but we must acknowledge him because he's front and center on camera, covering up his Propecia-laden scalp with a hideous hat. He sort of reminds me of Dr. Claw from "Inspector Gadget."

"Hehehehh... Excellent. All is going according to my evil plan."

All he needs is a pretty little pussycat. Stephanie lets herself in without knocking, which we know Spencer just LOVES. She asks if he's talking to Heidi (who else would he talk to?), to which he simply glares at her and makes a remark to Heidi about the wind bringing something in. Huh. Is he ever nice to ANYONE? I ponder what keeps Heidi with him and remember that I used to date someone who told me that, since I hate pretty much everyone, he felt flattered that he was one of the few people in the world I actually liked. Perhaps Heidi has the same syndrome. Does this mean I'm an emotionally abusive dickhole?

"Probably."

Stephanie explains the Duhg situation to him, and Spencer gleans no small amount of delight from this predicament. What could make him happier than LC's eternal misery? He brings up the same singular good point that Heidi made as well, which is that there are millions of handsome, strong, well-cocked, empty-headed men in Los Angeles. She didn't have to go out with Lauren's H, S, W-C, E-H man. Spencer spouts off about LC cutting her out of her precious social circle, but before he said the words "cut out," I kind of thought his gestures might lead to the international sign language for cunnilingus.

"Tasty!"

Stephanie IS a little perturbed, and has that worried, introspective look down almost as well as LC.

Also, she kind of looks like an aging member of Heart.

At the X-Games soiree, Blah arrives with Pigpen on her arm, who is apparently testing out his Halloween costume as '90s grungester-cum-dickhead in a fetching plaid shirt and his usual scruff. Meanwhile, Spencer and Heidi look the least like skaters they possibly can.

Sometimes you need to be your own paparazzi.

As Pigpen and his cleaning lady sit down beside them, Spencer compliments Pigpen on his atrocious "HOOLIGANS" logo puff-painted onto the flipped bill of his hat, then launches into some awkward, meaningless chitchat about the new "Batman" movie. Crickets all around (I mean, under the sound of a thousand tattooed hotties partying). Spencer nods to himself enthusiastically and something occurs to me. Mayhaps Spencer's been friend-lonely too?

Heidi: "My boyfriend's such a moron."

Blahdrina continues her pattern of drama-spurring under the pressure of silence by bringing up the Duhg thing again. Much of her gossiping is with non-committal "I don't know"s, as if that made it any better. Really, if you don't know what you're talking about, perhaps you should shut the hell up.

Heidi: "So does Lauren trust Stephanie now?" Blahdrina: "(gossipy nod)!"

"Gasp! What a deliciously evil turn of events!"

Heidi actually praises Jesus (using those exact words! ha!) for not being involved in the drama. I always find it hilarious when supposedly super-Christian people take the Lord's name in vain while doing something un-Godlike, like gossiping. No, Heidi, please don't waste Jesus' time by praising him for not involving you in petty drama. That's not what he's there for.

He's there to rock you SEXY.

Meanwhile, all of Los Angeles is trying to figure out whether this is a DATE date, or just a date. On one hand, Duhg didn't pick Stephanie up. On the other hand, they're meeting at a restaurant called Beso, which is Spanish for kiss. In any case, Steph's wearing a titty shirt that desperately needs a belt, and that's not cool, DATE date or just date.

Thinks he's on a date with Brody.

Duhg mumbles that she looks pretty and I wonder if he might crush her like a bunny in the hands of a lowly migrant ranch worker. They talk about how good of friends he is with Broday, and I begin to suspect there must be an Ex-BFs Of Lauren Conrad Club or something. Perhaps he, Bro, Wahler, Coletti and that French dude all get together for poker Mondays while they sit around, drink beer and talk about LC's well-advertised lady parts.

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Posted in The Hills , The Hills by O. Snapp at 10:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (14)
Last Comment: purplepixie on Sep 28, 2008 09:57 PM.