The next morning, swaddled in hangover blankets, the blondettes discuss how unspeakable Stacie's lack of pants were. Stephanie says that love doesn't make sense and that every couple goes through stages of breaking up, making up, and posing for paparazzi on the beach. "No, I'm breaking up with him, I'm done," Heidi declares. Stephanie suggests couples therapy. Heidi remains silent but allows a "hey, just because YOU need professional help doesn't mean the rest of us are crazy" roll of the eyes. "Everyone in L.A. has a therapist," Stephanie insists. No, everyone in New York has a therapist. Everyone in L.A. has a personal trainer. But Heidi doesn't even know if it will be worth the trouble. "How many chances do you get?" she wonders aloud.
Speaking of no pants...
At PR, LC and a fellow employee are debating exactly how many diamonds a model should wear before said model becomes "too decked-out" when Kelly Cutthroat interrupts to ask LC about her dippy little friend. Kelly admits she had to try really hard not to laugh in Stephanie's face about her Final Objective in Life, and LC defends her by saying she probably misunderstood the question. The question of a resumè. Yeah, this doesn't look good. Cutthroat says that she's scared, but she wants to try Stephanie out anyway. "Her interview was such a folly that she might be a genius," she theorizes.
Or perhaps you're being paid to hire her. Who knows! In any case, Kelly tells LC with some violent imagery that if Steph ever has to be fired, LC's gonna be the one to do it. LC looks all scared and wimpy, but I think that she's getting Steph the job because she knows she'll fail and she'll get to fire her. Wouldn't you?
At lunch, where everything major happens, Heidi and Spencer have a little passive-aggressive exchange of words and Heidi finally suggests therapy. Personally, I think that deep psychoanalysis by someone who specializes in narcissism would be their best bet, but they didn't come to ME for advice. Spencer scoffs at the idea that he'd talk to a stranger who'd been to "an extra year of school more than me." Don't you mean eight years of school more than you? Anyway, Heidi brings Stacie up again, hissing, "A dress like that? She obviously doesn't have a boyfriend!" Ha ha! I like the fact that she thinks she can assess Stacie's relationship status based on her fashion. Believe me, plenty of people with boyfriends still dress all slutty. Just look at Blahdrina. She interrogates Spencer into admitting he's seen her three times. "I'm done with you, I'm done with this," Heidi says, then angrily (but calmly) states her fury at his lack of an apology. She remains steady, firm, and composed. "I don't wanna talk to you, I don't wanna look at you, I don't even wanna be near you right now," she declares, the words rushing out of her mouth before she can stop the onslaught of bravery. "So if you wanna be with me, get your stuff together and go to the therapist, or get outta my life, because I'm done with this."
Wow, Heidi! No hysterics, no crying, no bullshit. Who knew you had a badass somewhere inside that little bony body?! I am so proud of her that I almost forget that I know she'll eventually take him back. I think this is the backbone that Stephanie so longs for.
I know it'll never last, but that beatdown was pretty damn satisfying to watch. What did you guys think? Anyone wanna take bets on how many episodes it will be until she takes him back? More importantly, anyone wanna take bets on how many episodes until Lauren as to fire Stephanie? 'Cause that shit's gonna be off the HOOK. Until next week, see you on the boards! - xoxOSnapp
« Harper's Island: "Whap": Who Will Survive and Why Do We Give A Shit | Main | DOLLHOUSE: Mole, Baby, Mole! »
Comments (13)
I'm so happy you included the pantsless screen shot. I was watching that the other day thinking it was sort of the icing on the recapping cake.
1 of 13 | Posted by LAjane | Posted on April 15, 2009 8:54 AM
i recently watched some episodes of season 1 online, and let me say it is so disturbing to see how much heidi has changed since then! in season 1, she looks and acts like a real human being!
2 of 13 | Posted by fineprint | Posted on April 15, 2009 11:37 AM
I was seriously horrified for Stephanie when Kelly tested out her French skills and it was TOTALLY obvious that Stephanie had exaggerated her French speaking abilities.
I took French for 9 years of my life (required in Canada, being a bilingual nation and all) and I am still not confident enough to put it on my resume and I understood what Kelly said! So Stephanie...yeesh.
3 of 13 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on April 15, 2009 2:29 PM
What did Kelly say, by the way?
I imagine it's something like the French equivalent of, "Ahookersays quoi?"
4 of 13 | Posted by osnapp | Posted on April 15, 2009 4:00 PM
Haha, not quite.
Actually, the beginning of Kelly's sentence doesn't make any sense at all, or at least she's speaking too fast for me to pick out what she says.
It sounds like "Ce n'est sais" but that means "This is not know" which of course, makes no sense. She also said "parle avec moi dans le francais" which means "speak with me in the French". "Dans" is completely unnecessary. She could just have said "parle francais avec moi".
But the rest of it made much more sense and at the end of the day, she said something to the effect of "That's good. If you know it, speak only French with me."
I'm not sure if she meant that she wanted to speak French for the rest of the interview or if she meant she wanted Stephanie to converse in French in the workplace.
Ah well. Stephanie clearly can only understand the very, very basic, so it doesn't matter much what Kelly meant.
5 of 13 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on April 15, 2009 6:57 PM
Great recap once again. if only Heidi really meant what she said. I'm sorry but I need to ask a totally unrelated question: WHERE ARE THE GREY'S ANATOMY RECAPS???!!!
What's going on? Two weeks without Greys is like fat free milk...
6 of 13 | Posted by nyla23 | Posted on April 16, 2009 4:38 AM
Kelly Cunt gives me the creeps! She looks like something demonic. When the cunt asked LC if she knew anyone who would wanna work for her.....well, I was able to figure out this plot all by myself!
Steph said she was 'up all night' doing her resume. BS! I can sit here and do a resume in 20 minutes. Since steph has Zero Jobs and no experience and her hobbies include spreading rumors and starting shit, it should have only took her 8 minutes to do a resume.
I have never laughed so hard as when i saw Charlie,who looks like he is 50 yrs old, 'gettin down' with Spencer in the car. That monotone voice that Spencer uses is so psychotic! I sure am glad that Stacie and her pussy, oh i mean Posse,rolled out tonight~ WORD.
Stacies friends looked just like her. I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone.
I didnt quite understand how Heidi and steph knew that Spencer was at that club. Or,does MTV want us to believe that they just happened to walk into the very same club that Spenc and his hommo charlie were in??
I do hate that Heidi hit that dog on the way to the club. At least Steph had the good sense to make use of the fur and not let it go to waste.
7 of 13 | Posted by fatgirlsrule | Posted on April 16, 2009 7:12 AM
LOVED THE RECAP!!! Especially the quote under the screengrab of Stephanie in her interview with Kelly "OMG! I wish you were concerned with me being too skinny right now!" Or something to that effect. Too hilarious!
I thoroughly enjoyed Heidi giving Spencer the 'What for' in the last scene. I watched it twice just to see if it were rehearsed. Seeing her like that reminded me of how proud of her I was when she broke up with Jordan in Season 1 of The Hills. She was firm, coherent, and knew how she wanted to be treated. She USED to have a backbone! D@mn this economy! Was it repossessed?!
Perhaps this "therapy" thing is only for the show. How/why else would Spencer ever apologize to Lauren for all of his errors (and Heidi agree to marry him) unless he were reformed somehow. This angle is lame like the finale of Seinfeld when they all went to prison.
8 of 13 | Posted by thatswhatshesaid | Posted on April 16, 2009 8:05 PM
And Charlie is creepy. Where did they find that dude? We haven't seen him in 5 seasons and all of a sudden he's a homie?! Wouldn't he naturally also be a friend of Brody's? What if he is Spencer's older brother? Same flesh colored facial hair. Gross.
9 of 13 | Posted by thatswhatshesaid | Posted on April 16, 2009 8:07 PM
So is anybody going to answer my Greys Anatomy question? ThatsWhatSheSaid???!!!
10 of 13 | Posted by nyla23 | Posted on April 17, 2009 12:09 AM
Nyla:
I dont watch G.A., so I dont know. I do wish someone would recap Jon and Kate plus 8 and The Duggars.
11 of 13 | Posted by fatgirlsrule | Posted on April 17, 2009 6:03 AM
Nyla I believe that the commenter "thatswhatshesaid" and the recapper are 2 different people...I have read that on the comments board before...the recapper has an ' in the name...so it's that'swhatshesaid...subtle difference but a difference!!
12 of 13 | Posted by Lnnc92 | Posted on April 17, 2009 7:55 AM
greys anatomy has not been new for a couple of weeks
this show is so bad it is good, if it was any longer than 1/2 hour I dont think I would be able to watch, 22 minutes is a lot of bad acting.
13 of 13 | Posted by carol | Posted on April 18, 2009 10:05 AM