You are the funniest recapper in the world and we yet again get a 3 page recap of this show that we all know and love? It's weak. Weak like Whitney. Lame like LC. Argueabley grounds for dismissal like Audrina. Stinky! I look forward to this more than the NYtimes book review Sunday supplement. Make it happen.

"Whit, air-punching like a gay man loving modern dance."

Ha, even if the recap was short, that line alone made it worth it.

I normally love your recaps but I must say, I was a little disappointed today. You never mentioned how Jarret repeated everything Whitney said, or how he uses miracle grow crem on his head so that he can have a shaved head one day and long hair the next.

There was just so much you left out!

I normally love your recaps but I must say, I was a little disappointed today. You never mentioned how Jarret repeated everything Whitney said, or how he uses miracle grow crem on his head so that he can have a shaved head one day and long hair the next.

There was just so much you left out

First off, I should be preparing Thanksgiving dinner but I just had to have my say.

I heart you, Ting, but these negative motherfuckers have managed to break your spirit. That's all I could think of while I read this recap. Don't lose focus.

I know that some of you posters were with me during season four of LB. I like LC but I couldn't stand her franken-sister Breanna. That bitch was ugly inside and out. When I pointed that out to you and her mother (Kathy) I was attacked. I was told that her looks had nothing to do with anything and that my opinion of her was wrong and blah...blah...blah.

Now, I believe we had freedom of speech back then too but some of the same posters who are using freedom of speech to hate on Ting now totally ripped me a new one back then. I remember names and you can easily check the archives. I don't want to start a big comment board bru-ha-ha with anyone but it jut seems really fucked to me.

When you constantly tell someone how awefull they are, it fucks with them. That's how we give chicks eating disorders and get nerds in schools to commit suicide.

Damn, Ting's writing style isn't going to change cause it is what it is. Quit reading it week after fucking week waiting for something new cause it ain't coming.

P.S. Deadrina's face saggs more every week. Next week it's gonna be on her lap.

Deuces up. Peace.

Hey Ting Lee, first time commenter, long time reader. First, i want to do what you do, how would i go about that? Second, Big Wangs is a pretty cool place. Management sucks, but the people are usually pretty cool, and pool and beer always works. Have you actually been there? Cause it's one of the only bars i like.

This episode was AWFUL...you did a good job with it though. Jarrett is soooo boring, and Whitney, although she's beautiful, has NO game which made this painful to watch.
I think Spencer's whole Cabo thing was a total joke and inauthentic...then again it is the Hills. Heidi, even though she's not the brightest crayon in the box, doesn't really take his crap and I'm proud of her for it.
I miss Lo! Is she at school? Damn her. Next week's episode actually looks interesting. Audrina-Bustin smackdown!

I actually thought this recap was better than previous ones. I still didn't laugh, but at least I understood what you were saying. Good job, Ting.

I still don't watch the actual show, so I don't know if you were kidding when you wrote this:
"There was no kissing, but Whitney asks LC for advice as to how to handle it when you don't want to be kissed. "You just go to the side, " says LC, "or, you say you hate everything they like so they don't have enough confidence to even try.""

If LC really did say this, that's pretty funny..considering I saw her do this same thing several episodes back on that date with the guy who loved talking about discount shirts. He likes salmon. LC said she HATES salmon. He likes discount shirts. LC HATES discount shirts. lol At least she practices what she preaches, er, advises.

LC didn't actually say that, but like you said, it is what she does. She only said "You just go to the side."

The spaghetti and meatballs will taste so much better served on plates engraved with "Idiot and Fuckface, May 18, 2008."

Hilarious. I think this episode was dubbed a lot better then last week's.

Fukc'em! I liked this recap. hort and sweet and some funny lines. The "idiot and Fuckface" was classic. I thought Whitney had some long time boyfriend though. Does that mean she is single or is MTV just making up reality? Or is it both? What a pathetic excuse for a network.

Give her a little reprive on the brevity it is the holidays you thankless wads of baby batter.

Uhmmmmmmmmm did anyone notice that when Jarret was asked out he had a buzz cut and then "later that night" on their "date" he had much longer hair? lulz.

I'm porcelain... but I tried signing in with that username and it said that I had an invalid username/password combination, though I checked and I'm pretty I got it right. So I made a new account, and I noticed TVgasm isn't using typekey anymore so maybe this is why.

Could this be why so many of the people who used to comment on The Hills recaps aren't here anymore? Where are you guys? - the hair colored girls, LCon, moodyloopin, madeyoulaugh and others? Is it b/c The Hills is starting to suck? CheeZ (sp?) has only commented a few times...

Anyway, if this whole Speidi wedding is a set up, Heidi is a pretty good actress. I think she seemed genuinely happy about it at the church.

Have you guys noticed how Lauren and Audrina's "LA" on the wall could stand for Lauren and Audrina too? It's cooler than if it just stood for Los Angeles. Yes, you're in LA, so?

ps. Ting, I liked your recap :)

Maybe I'm crazy, but I SWEAR the church Speidi checked out was the same church...or whatever...that was used for the young hollywood party. Except the pews were put back in. It had the same confessionals and the altar area was exactly the same. Maybe I'm reaching...

this guy jarett is the ultimate tool. everything he says is in fast motion.
zero imagination... he is a trainer in all aspects of his life, like he is working out

" 3 more and 2 and 1 and rest, you made it. high five, cheers".

if he ever bangs whitney i am sure he will be counting out the strokes,,, "you are all most there and 4 and 3 and 2 and 1,, high five, cheers again you made it .." "breath, take a rest, "now flip over, and 4 and 3 and 2 and 1, you made it , rest, high five, now wipe off. good job, now chill, now take a drink. cheers." cheers again".

what is your sign?

what a dweeb! these girls pick idiots.. 'cause they are stupid and hang around with idiots..

LOL @ Heehaw's comment above me.
They probably don't pick only idiots (although LC seems to have a knack) it's just the good ones are smart enough to stay off camera. Anyway, how much does MTV really want to broadcast Lauren having a functional relationship?

Ting,

I love your recaps. Since the show is obviously scripted, it's too bad they don't let you write it.

Seriously, great recap. Much better pace and dialog than the real thing.

uglycutie,

You have to remember only to have popular opinions on here, or else you will be slaughtered. Why do you think lora and I adore Breanna so? It's because her mom hung out here. Everyone was kissing ass, and you need to get with it too, girlie.

Suspiciously light suitcases - love it! I had thought it seemed rather convenient that his bags were oddly at hand, so he was up & mobile to be out the door - great recap!

this recap was pathetic. every week, it gets more disappointing. not to mention, if you don't like to write, give someone else the opportunity. 2 pages?! that's less than a 1st grader's "what i did on summer vacation" assignment.

chelle, watch the show or read the recap...the bags were there because he was trying to surprise heidi with a vegas wedding. i can see why you think this recap is so great, you didn't read enough to actually digest any of it.

The recap was actually three pages, but either way I agree it could definitely be longer. I think the actual recap of events is fine, but I could use more commentary. And I realize it was getting close to thanksgiving, so this is aimed more at future recaps.

hi flallet, for me, it's 2 pages. i can click on 1, then on 2, no 3 for me. and even the second page is only about half a page. so yeah, not 3 here (maybe my settings? i don't know) but even if it's 3, it's all semantics anyway. if these recaps keeps sucking this bad, the shorter the better, i suppose.

sorry, ting, i was a big fan of yours in the beginning, but recently i've lost all my faith in your ability to write anything entertaining. you don't seem to have any interest in it, so why bother?

Hi you guys,

I've had two short recaps out of the 15 or so I've written. One was when I had the flu and the other was Thanksgiving and I had a flight on Tuesday night.

Uglycutie, while admittedly I wasn't super-psyched last week, the quickness of the recap was more to do with my crazy landlord blowing a fuse and erasing half my work, covering for someone at my job Tuesday night, and leaving for NY at 3:30 in the morning. That's what you got in the time I had.

Alexrae-- did you read the young hollywood party recap?

Oh, and yes, I've been to Big Wang's, FYI.

Even still, I appreciate you guys want more.

TL

Chee-Z-TeeVeeAddict:

commenters inverse commenters commenters copy commenters commenters commenters commenters paste commenters not clever commenters commenters commenters re-use commenters commenters commenters commenters recycle commenters commenters same schtick commenters commenters commenters not funny commenters this is the scope of what I can do commenters commenters commenters commenters commenters I lick sweaty taint commenters commenters commenters I will do the same thing next week as well commenters commenters commenters commenters commenters the only thing worse than my functioning retardation is my obsession with getting my lame ass "point across" commenters commenters commenters

Honestly I can't tell if this Chee-Z-TeeVeeAddict is the real one or not. He/she was having trouble with someone impersonating him/her earlier. Hey, even if you are the real one, you should probably say that it wasn't you who copied/pasted everyone's posts on the other recap. Cause that's just really embarrassing for you.

Hyper-Chicken,
How are you any better than any other commenter? Didn't you just go to an awful lot of trouble to get YOUR point across? This board is no fun anymore, there's like 2% talk about the show, 98% bitter people saying stupid shit. And guess what, a-holes? IT'S NOT THE RE-CAPPERS' FAULT!
Now, back to the show: Did you hear what Joel said on The Soup, he showed the clips of Jarett's Miracle Grow hair and said something about MTV not giving a shit if we think it's real or not, freakin classic...

way to miss the point coco. I don't think I am better than any commenters but I think we're all defintely better than Cheezee's weekly copy and paste sessions which add nothing. And all the above was actually no trouble at all. I have observed Cheezee's art of the copy and paste and I think I may have gotten it down. But I'm sure Cheezee will come back and upstage us all agian with that razor sharp wit.

Dear Ting,
I know this is late, but I'm just getting to my Hills recaps today.
Even though they are short, your phrasing is HILLarious!! The titles of Speidis apartment were priceless.
Oh, I think your recaps have to be short...there's not enough material on that lame show to stretch out to 5,6,7 pages!

Did anyone else notice that during Whitney and Jarretts date, some random black chick darts across the screen, ducking down like she's in a movie theatre and trying to be polite to the other viewers. She ran RIGHT in front of the cameras! Do they not have bodyguards and set people preventing that type of thing?

BTW the REAL Chee-Z uses hyphens in his name. The fake one does not. That's how you can tell.