Sleazy-T (lord how I wish I'd thought of that nickname... I'm guessing his real name's Todd) discusses Blahdrina's on-again/off-again liaison with Pigpen, and I shout to Blahdrina through my TV not to listen to him, he's probably friends with Dino. I can't imagine why any guy would talk to a girl at a club about relationships unless he was trying to get into her pants. Brody calls the jerk in question over to their table. Pigpen, who looks like he's gained about twenty pounds and at least a dime bag, twitches, whiffs at his nose and leaps over some sofas to join the crew of slovenly men and overly groomed ladies.
Brody, ever the matchmaker, questions Pigpen's emotional investment in the relationship by shouting, "You and Blahrina, what?" I'm happy to know that the brevity of text-speak has made it to the level of vocal conversation. Brody tells a bald-faced lie in claiming that Blahdrina has said she's still madly in love with Pigpen, just as she's telling Sleazy-Todd that he'll never win her back. Pigpen bobs up and down in his chair frenetically, chewing gum and smoking cigarettes (at the same time!), and finally breaks through his emotional brick wall by mussing up his hair, then turning around and mussing Blahdrina's hair. I'm guessing this is known as a sign of affection in the ape world. Something about sharing each other's natural body oils. However, something tells me Blah and her 2-hour hairstyling session don't appreciate the sentiment.
He leans over and, with classic Pigpen clarity of soul, asks Blahdrina, "Do you know how short this life is?" Too short to be wasting it on crack pipes and whiny rich girls, I'm guessing. Blahdrina doesn't feel like hearing the answer, though, and asks, "Are you serious? Is this a joke?" I like it when she gets annoyed - she almost seems smart.
She complains that he never makes her feel special (this feels like a repeat of the Heidi/Jordan breakup... if she compares herself to a princess I'm outta here). He says he doesn't want it to be like that. She says it is, and that whenever she tries to tell him, he makes her seem crazy. "Well, you are crazy," he smirks. Heheh, I kinda love it when the asshole says something funny enough to make me not hate him for a nanosecond. Especially since the retort from whatever batty broad with whom they're arguing is never, ever equally punchy. For example, in this situation Blahdrina comes back with, "Crazy in love with someone who doesn't care about me!" Ooooh you got him where it hurts! In his... sympathy cortex? No, he's missing that one. I'm sorry, this comeback just makes you look even more pathetic. Next, please.
Oddly enough, Stephanie takes her aside and hisses, "Don't talk to him! Oh my God, Blahdrina!" As though it was never her suggestion to end the relationship as friends. Shortly after the commercial break...
At PR, the telephone is ringing as LC stares at Stephanie, who is lost in a reverie.
LC prods her to answer the phone, so Stephanie pauses, picks it up, makes a face and hangs up. "I think I just hung up on someone," she theorizes. Hmmm, what gave it away? I don't think much evidence is required in this case. That someone (probably Whitney prank calling from DVF) calls back and LC takes care of it while Stephanie watches with deep concentration, squinting her eyes to evoke at least the illusion of neurons firing. I sometimes wonder how people like this make it through life.
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Comments (13)
So happy your recaps are back!
Remember when Hobo Joe was a member of Broday's crew for, like, a second? What happened to that?
The Brodester's girlfriend is not that cute.
Why was LC so disappointed she couldn't tag along to Hawaii (and -- spoiler alert! --I think she DOES go at some point this season, there were pics in US). Doesn't she remember that sucky trip to Cabo where every 18-23 year old with a C cup within a 200 mile radius was invited to that pool party?
1 of 13 | Posted by msu11y28 | Posted on April 23, 2009 10:49 AM
I love Kelly Cutrone. I SO do. She's amazing. Wouldn't want her as a boss, but she's hilarious to watch.
I also enjoyed the therapy session (and I'm sad you didn't commen on this) when the therapist just looked at Speidi in disgust and said "This sounds like high school." and then she said (I swear she said this) that they should end it if they can't work it out. I laughed in delight.
Oh, the Hills.
2 of 13 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on April 23, 2009 10:55 AM
Guess my spoiler alert wasn't so spoil-y. All the stupidity of this episode must caused synapses in my brain to shut down or something cause I totally missed the part where the girls decided to go to Hawaii, sorry!
3 of 13 | Posted by msu11y28 | Posted on April 23, 2009 10:55 AM
Stephanie is a nincompoop. That phone thing had to have been bad acting. She hung up like she was afraid of who was on the other end and then, wide-eyed, said, "I think I just hung up on somebody!" 8O (Steph's expression). Dingaling. I'd rather Kelly Cutrone fire her. THAT would be a ratings grab! She's so intimidating. I wonder if she enjoys it? We sure do!I'm STILL laughing at last week's screengrab of Stephanie panicking in the interview. "OMG!!" HAHAHAHAA!
And I agree! Why would the girls want to go to Hawaii??? There can't be any good that comes from it! Especially for Lauren.
Very random of Stephanie to come and sit with Brody all chummy like at the club and then he calls SPENCER?! Dude, this show is sooooo written since it's the last season.
I agree, the show would be better if Heidi and Spencer were embittered exes. War of the Roses anyone? Good stuff! Maybe they can do that once Lauren leaves, if they decide to do a season 6 without her.
4 of 13 | Posted by thatswhatshesaid | Posted on April 23, 2009 11:12 AM
I love the screen cap about Pigpen being in the box, hilarious :)
5 of 13 | Posted by pixyamiga | Posted on April 23, 2009 12:58 PM
O.M.G. your recaps are hilarious...but that last caption almost made me spill gatorade all over my keyboard!
6 of 13 | Posted by pecosa | Posted on April 23, 2009 1:13 PM
In case anyone is actually interested. Brody's girlfriend is January 2007 Playmate (and PMOY 2008) Jayde Nicole.
7 of 13 | Posted by fluffy | Posted on April 23, 2009 2:39 PM
she (Jayde) looks better in pictures than on camera! she was fug on the show, but a few of the pictures I saw of her on google she was really pretty... hmmm..
and Blah was looking considerably better at the end of this ep! her dead eyes didn't freak me out nearly as much..
8 of 13 | Posted by Lady_Ace | Posted on April 23, 2009 4:00 PM
oh and one more thing..
LC needs to lose the plaid button-ups ... they're cute, but not every day! she wore at least 2 different ones this ep... blech!
9 of 13 | Posted by Lady_Ace | Posted on April 23, 2009 4:01 PM
It really makes me mad that someone who as successful as Kelly Cutrone would hire a dumbass like Stephanie. Does she really need publicity that bad? Why would you try to harm your own company on purpose.
Brody's girlfriend is ugly/scary looking. She reminds me of that girl in the Craft. I wonder what Kim, Kourt and Kloe think of her.
It makes me feel awkward for the girls when they decided to just show up in Hawaii..hopefully that was just for the cameras and the guys know they're coming, otherwise it looks kinda pathetic.
How come it's just okay to say Audrina is going to hook up with Brody even though he has a gf that they all know? So now Lauren is ok with Audrina hooking up with Brody as well as her getting into the middle of a couple?
If I were Heidi and I wanted to speed up therapy to solve my problems, I would hand the therapist Seasons 2, 3 & 4 of the Hills on DVD, and maybe throw in season 1 for some background on heidi's history....the therapist could spend the weekend watching and the next session she'll be well-informed.
10 of 13 | Posted by winks523 | Posted on April 24, 2009 8:16 AM
winks i was just thinking the same thing. don't Lau and Brody have like a "thing"? You know, like Stephen Colleti type thing? I know for a fact that LC won't be impressed. Great recap btw.
11 of 13 | Posted by nyla23 | Posted on April 24, 2009 8:51 AM
I can't believe Brody's girlfriend was Playmate of the Year. Shows what Photoshop and airbrushing can do. Seriously, apparently she's 23 but she looks like she's had so much facial work done that she already appears like a 45-year-old TRYING to be a 23-year-old.
12 of 13 | Posted by andreak1013 | Posted on April 24, 2009 12:23 PM
Heidi and Spencer are legally married now!
Isn't that just so sweet? Oh, wait... I just want to barf.
I'd post a link to the article but we can't on this forum!!
GOOOGLE!
13 of 13 | Posted by whit-ster | Posted on April 27, 2009 9:17 AM