Testimonials

Blahdrina blows Broahday a kiss and Jayde sics her gaggle of skanks on little miss homewrecker. Yawn. I don't know of it's all the silicone parts flying around, but I'm getting awfully bored.

Um, we were JUST about to punch her in her caps.

Jayde and Blahdrina go over to some other designer couch to keep talking themselves into incoherent, unintelligible circles. Jayde keeps saying how Blahdrina's behavior is so fucked up, but I REALLY don't think it's Blahdrina's problem, I mean, she don't got no boyfriend, right? And why would Jayde want to be with Broahday anyway, if he can't keep his dick in his pants? Why? Maybe because they're all dumbasses.

Guilty as charged...

As Broahday gives Blahdrina a reconciliatory high-five, LC is doing her usual job of dishing out concerned glances. Blahdrina leaves and Jayde gets all pissy that Broahday hugged Blahdrina. The long and short of it is Jayde doesn't care if Blahdrina's okay, and Broahday needs to be neutered. Also, Jayde is a man.

This Jager will make me forget my balls...er, transgressions.

Man, these brunettes are so controlling moody. Where's a good subordonate blonde when you need one?

Still life with Douchebag

HBUD is back in therapy with Mr. Pratt. Man, that therapist is probably thinking that she is NOT getting paid enough to listen to HBUD or stare at Spency's continuously pissed-offedness.

Somebody shoot me

So they go through the whole song and dance about Spency getting a text message from Stacy and how neither of them trust each other. I love the fact that the therapist says that they're on different pages, and Spency says they're in different books. No, HBUD, OK! Magazine does NOT count as a book. And no, Spency, the iphone kindle version of "Mein Kampf" also doesn't count. Geez!

At Blahdrina's bungalow, Stefanie gets the whole story of the past events at Broahday's par-tay. Blahdrina is trying to justify her "sleeping in bed" (cough, intercourse, cough cough) by the fact that she's known Broahday for like, a super long time and like, Jayde and him were like, fighting after only, like a couple months and like, life is ultimately superstressful, like, as referenced by the works of Nietsche and like, Necomachean ethics. Duh!

You ALWAYS Bring up Derrida when you're pissy, Blahdrina!

At the cutsie club entitled "Our House" (disclaimer: nobody lives there), Jayde is still swigging Jager like she earns a wage doing it. She seems like a SUPER HAPPY person, in general. Real solid head on her shoulders, real nice set of nuts between her legs. Am I right? She's also looking extra drag-queeny when Blahdrina walks in.

I cannot...see your Adam's Apple in this light.

Jayde's gross witchy friends goes over and flays her hands at Blahdrina, and Frankie breaks it up, though Blahdrina goes over to Jayde and calls her insecure. Man, why the FUCK isn't Broahday getting ANY flack? He should really be the one chugging Jaeger and getting his panties in a bunch. Ugh, stupid women. When will they go and get themselves pregnant and loose their bodies and arrogance, only to populate the world with less attractive anti-intellectuals that will constitute a new megarace of superhumans? Just sayin.'

Jayde gets even more pissy and Broahday goes over to Blahdrina to ask what's going on. Really, I think Broahday's just jealous and wants to get in on this girl on girl (debatably girl on boy) action. Broahday tells Blahdrina to let it go, and that his crazy man-girlfriend is upset. Blahdrina leaves. Commence gross makeout between douchebags.

All Systems go.

the next day, Blahdrina meets LC and that mousey blond friend of LC's at Desert Rose, a restaurants that apparently allows girls with awkwardly placed hats to dine in their midst.
.

Dumb.

Blahdrina tells the whole story of the evening.

Pre-lunch concern

LC tries to defend Broahday's actions but also that he owes Blahdrina an apology. Meanwhile, Spencer goes back to therapy, while Heidi waits in the car. He tells the therapist that HBUD and him were separate people, but now are the same. Really? I beg to differ. Hey, did you crack a window for HBUD in the car, Spence?

And, more lunching! This time with LC and Broahday. Man, LC, you better watch your girlish figure and furrowed brow, or you might start to look old and get fat. And NOBODY likes a reality tv star to be old and fat, unless you're on biggest loser.

Yowza! Just lettuce for me.

« American Idol Results: Church Lady Can Suck It | Main | Keeping Up With The Kardasians: Still On »

Posted in The Hills by Monamonzano at 5:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: sassycassc08 on May 14, 2009 01:30 AM.