Testimonials

Meanwhile, Heidi asks Spencer to go find Holly, who's left the table in a huff. Shouldn't SHE go find her, seeing as they've been sisters, like, her whole life and everything? Spencer finds Holly and Darlene and tries very unsuccessfully to assuage Holly's guilt by saying with a slightly biting tone that Heidi was just "caught off-guard that you were throwing food at a rehearsal dinner." He seems like he's trying really, really hard to say the right thing, but no amount of therapy can teach a man class. "We're 25 now, and even I don't throw food at the table, and I don't even have good manners." Probably not the thing to say to a drunk maid of honor who hates you. Just sayin'.

Holly tries not to cry as Darlene repeats, "It was NOT RUDE," about fifteen times with different intonations each time. Is she studying the Meisner technique or something? Spencer is now ready to exit this scene, as he smiles through firmly gritted teeth and practically runs away from the storm a-brewin' in the Montag XX gene pool. He even sings a little as he scurries away, just to show how totally uncomfortable he is and how one more moment with them may force him to turn into the Incredible Unmarryable Man.

Holly breaks into full sobs, railing against the gall Spencer must have to call her rude, and hiccups to her mom that she is the last person who should defend Spencer. "I didn't know we were dining with the king and queen," she weeps. "Well, for tonight, we are," Darlene replies in a most unhelpful manner.

The next day, as they bond over manicures, Holly begs forgiveness of Princess Heidi, who doesn't accept her apology but instead agrees that what Holly did was wrong, saying, "You made it not about ME at my rehearsal dinner. This is the biggest moment of my LIFE." Well, the moment you stand up on that altar and hand your soul to Satan will be the biggest moment of your life, but we're days from that. You don't get a whole week. In fact, it's probably better to get the hissy fits out of the way now instead of at the wedding when someone could actually have the sense to object.

Holly tells Heidi that she wouldn't be offended if she'd rather let Stephanie be her goddamn maid of honor. "She's a lot more used to this kind of etiquette." Oh, sure, the shoplifter with a drug habit is très refined. But Heidi tells her she's her sister and she loves her blah blah gag me gag me "and I would never un-maid of honor you." Is that even English?

The bitches hug it out and Heidi asks Holly if she "gave that invitation to that person I told you to?" Hmmm who could this be? I think we're supposed to think it's LC but given the fact that we've all seen the wedding coverage and the previews for next season, we all know it's actually KC, as in Kristen Cavallari, whom we also know will wear a blue dress and catch the bouquet. Sorry. Does that count as a spoiler?

At his tuxedo fitting, Spencer is telling his hired groomsmen that the look he's going for is "white Jay-Z."

While Spencie is changing, Charlie calls out to him that he's bringing Stacie as his date. Ha ha ha, wouldn't that just be wretched! He smiles and says not to worry, they'll just cover her face with "one of those veils with the little black dots on them." He asks for an estimated running time for this ordeal, and Spencer says that he's told the preacher to make it as short as possible, leaving out the objection part if he could. Is he trying to pull a Prince Humperdink?! The preacher told him no one would ever object, but he obviously has no idea how wrong this blessed union is.

At the final shindig at the LauLo Chateau, suddenly Jayde and Blahdrina are totally fine with each other, Frankie proposes shots of champagne for the toast to the girls, and Lauren continues to lose herself in her Country Jo look with yet another man-fitted plaid shirt.

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Posted in The Hills by O. Snapp at 3:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (15)
Last Comment: winks523 on Jun 11, 2009 02:28 PM.