Eek. I hope your solid something doesn't watch "The Hills." On one hand, I applaud him for being relatively honest, especially on national television, but on the other hand, as Stephanie asks him detailed questions, he evades like a motherfucker. Q: "Girlfriend?" A: "Something like that." Q: "You, like, live with her?" A: "We've got a situation going." Stephanie says that's crazy and Sean replies with a wink that there's a lot of temptation on the road. Steph doesn't get the hint and instead commands him to zip his flirtatious lip.
Blah and Chris return to the table and Steph openly sighs at Blah, eyes closed, mouthing "Omigahhhhhd" as she is wont to do, as her life is so incredibly dramatic. She whispers to Blah that they need to leave immediately. Blah looks at the boys, pauses, and makes an excuse about needing to get up early in the morning. What?? She won't even bring Steph to the ladies' room to ask for an explanation? All four look at each other for several seconds, everyone confused except Stephanie, then the girls make their speedy getaway.
Wait, wait, wait a second. Do you mean to tell me that Stephanie got one whiff of the word "something like girlfriend" and couldn't handle it? She couldn't even just hang out with BAND GUYS for one night to have a little fun? They probably had coke! She couldn't just stick it out and at least flirt a little bit for Blahdrina's sake? You KNOW Blahdrina wanted to get with that weird, shrimpy singer dude. Has Steph never heard of the phrase "taking one for the team?" Furthermore, is this what Stephanie constitutes as drama? Because, if so, she has got a LOT to learn from her fellow Hillsians. Any one of the main girls would have gotten sloppy drunk, fucked that guitarist and allowed the mystery girlfriend to come at her with all the Jager bottles she could carry. THAT'S drama. Silly, ridiculous, scripted drama, but drama nonetheless.
Back in Santa Monica, Spencer has dressed specially for his long walk on the beach with his facial hair idol by tucking in his denim-colored shirt. You git'em, cowboy. They make jokes about seagulls for awhile until Cowdaddy asks what Spencer's intentions are with his daughter. Do people really talk like this? Spencer replies he'd like to live happily ever after with her. That's just fine, as long as you realize "happily ever after" means years of couples therapy ending in a painful and costly divorce.
Sweet Cowdaddy explains that he's very protective of his girl, which makes me say Awwww until he adds, "That's why God invented Colt .45s." Dammit, you always ruin the moment with a gun comment, don'tcha? And a bad one, at that. The stupidity of that statement makes me believe he really IS like Spencer. Overall, though, I must say this scene is actually relatively sincere, and I don't absolutely detest Spencer in it. I fear saying that, but the truth is, he's at least putting down the antagonist's sword for a second, and I've gotta respect that. Even Cowdaddy gets a little soft, advising Spencer a bit about Darlene, and even says that if Spencer wants to marry Heidi, "I won't come after you." Awwwwww. He says that Spencer would be the loser if he lost Heidi, but I'm pretty sure that, together or apart, they can both be losers.
At People's Revolution, Steph strolls in and says there must have been an accident on the highway because it took her so long to get to work. Sure, perhaps an accident. Perhaps a mishap with your blow drier. She asks how work has been and LC avoids her eyes, reaches for a pen but doesn't write anything with it, then looks around furtively to make sure everyone is watching what she is about to do.
She says that she needs to talk to Steph about the other day, and that - GOD, WOMAN, don't you ever wash your FACE???
Jesus, she looks like my Cabbage Patch doll when I used to leave her in the backyard for three days. Anyway, LC explains that in light of the incident, Kelly Cutthroat doesn't feel that she has "time to train" Stephanie. Hmm, interesting turn of the phrase "you're a total fuckup."
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Comments (7)
stephanie pratt...wow...just wow
1 of 7 | Posted by efk2020 | Posted on May 20, 2009 2:10 PM
So, as usual your recaps made me laugh quite hard. :o)
The part about the movie fear was one of my most favorites.
Heidi's real dad was ridiculous but it was great because for once Spencer looked like he might actually piss himself.
The proposal was sweet in it's sick kind of material way and the pecking that the two of them did made me want to barf.
Lauren did an excellent job firing stephanie and the look that Lauren's co worker shot her cracked me up.
Though I am not proud of steph's work ethic I admired the way she told that band dude to "zip his flirtatious lips" because honestly, what kind of douche explains his relationship as a "situation"
I love how Lauren and Brody have platonic romantic dinners. As most other viewers feel I wish that the two of them would just date again already. He is yummy and I hope that he stays on the hills even though Lauren is leaving.
Yes, Lauren has made a few people cry. Audrina, jenbunny, heidi, and oh, yeah stephanie! I am sure they are not the only ones!
2 of 7 | Posted by whit-ster | Posted on May 20, 2009 2:46 PM
Heidi's daddy reminds me of the man that did the Quacker Oatmeal commercials. Funny though...Heidi actually looks just like her Step-Dad. Hmmmm..sounds a little fishy to me.
Did Audrina actually call someone else 'Promiscious"?? Wow, talk about the pot calling the kettle black!
When Spence pulled out that ring I said "Yep, somebody has been to Claire's"
3 of 7 | Posted by fatgirlsrule | Posted on May 20, 2009 8:28 PM
OOOppppssss, I forgot to say this: What the hell was Steph wearing when she met Heidi for lunch??? It looked like a tater sack being held in place by some duct tape.
I cant believe that heidis dad asked spence what his 'intentions' were with his daughter. Lets see, been shacking up for awhile, getting the milk for free........
Is the word Narly really spelled Gnarly??
4 of 7 | Posted by fatgirlsrule | Posted on May 20, 2009 8:40 PM
Love the Fear reference! Maybe Spencer can tattoo his chest with
Heidi
4
Eva
5 of 7 | Posted by totallydifferenthead | Posted on May 21, 2009 10:51 AM
HIGH-LARIOUS! Great job O.Snapp! This was a good episode! I liked watching Spencer squirm at the thought of Heidi's (real) dad coming. I wish her dad had really tortured him more though. He seemed to win over the dad so easily. I guess teaming up against Darlene must have been a stroke of genius. I, too, thought it was a risky move. The interesting thing is that Darlene thinks Spencer reminds her of Bill, and she DIVORCED Bill. If Heidi is anything like Darlene, she could eventually be following in the same footsteps....They certainly don't SEEM that similar, but I'm sure eventually she will see the light.
6 of 7 | Posted by thatswhatshesaid | Posted on May 21, 2009 10:52 AM
Osnapp, I have to tell you how much I love your recaps. You're totally one of the writers I go to when I need to 'get in the mood': the writing mood that is. Sorry, didn't mean to make you too uncomfortable. Hee-hee.
Hugs,
Yenta
7 of 7 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on May 24, 2009 6:07 AM