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Elsewhere in the partay, hipsters are mixing with hippies are mixing with preppies are mixing with rockers are mixing with... Lo. She asks whether Pigpen is coming and Blahdrina sighs defeatedly, answering that he never returned her texts. Bummer.

The holy twins of cherubic drama.

Later at Epic, Chiara has made her triumphant return and she and Blahdrina laugh over the insane amount of stress Blah had to suffer during the event. As far as I could tell, all she did was invite her friends to a party, take shots with a group of rock stars, and dance half-assedly while balancing her purse and cocktail in the same hand. Then again, I don't work in the industry and therefore cannot know the travails of an assistant music... something... to the whatever... wait, exactly what does Blahdrina do?

Anyway, Blahdrina's Day-Glo teeth recap the Tale of the Afterparty and that darn Pigpen's unexpected awful behavior. She doesn't understand why she gives and gives while he only takes. Well, maybe it's because you're so enthralled by his loving advice to dump your friends that he knows that's all he has to give. Maybe it's because you keep getting back together with him after he treats you like gum on the bottom of his shoe. Chiara notes that Blahdrina has learned not to invest her feelings in this relationship. That's just sad. What kind of relationship are you in if you know (and accept) that he's just going to let you down? Oh, right. The kind that lands you a spot on "The Hills." On the other hand, Blahdrina reasons that they still have an amazing chemistry together.

Take it from O. Snapp. Attraction is nothing if the guy's an asshole.

"How come the light bulb never goes over my head?"

At Fit'Em, LC dishes on her lunch with The Other Sister. I see Steph has returned to her Swiss Miss On Coke look.

"How about a nice cuppa hot chocolate? I put a little something extra in it!"

Steph reiterates how LC and Holls "were best, best, best friends." HOW? How? Will someone better versed in the inner workings of this incestuous family/friendship circle PLEASE explain this to me? Anyway, a wicked smile creeps across Stephanie's face, as though she's glad she'll have a partner to help her stir up the pot. But as they discuss it further, LC explains that she just doesn't want to cause trouble for anyone. That's sweet honey, but have you ever watched your own show?

"It's just scary that she lives with them," says Stephanie, Girl Who Used To Live With Spencer. Yet another misuse of an adjective; these ladies are great at that. NO, Steph, scary's not the word you're looking for. Scary would be if they kept Holls chained in the basement with scraps of food sitting just barely out of her reach. Scary would be if Spence 'n' Heidi were running a meth lab in the kitchen they share with Holls. Scary would be if Holls woke up in the middle of the night and Spencer were staring at her in the dark from across the room. Getting the chance to harass Spencer by leaving your tampons everywhere is NOT scary.

But I digress. Some soft, chick-reunion music comes in as the scene is intercut with Heidi's totally fake lunch with Kimberly (remember her?) and they discuss the awkwardness of it all. I don't know why Kimmy's been out the last few episodes, but perhaps it has something to do with why she looks so exhausted, bloated and disinterested in life in general.

"When do I get that meth you promised me?"

Heidi bemoans the loss of her friendship with LC, which she retrospectively concedes "lasted for years" whereas their fight was relatively short (HA. You call three seasons short?). "She was my best friend. I never had a best friend like that before." Yeah, not even your only sister.

Her incessant dramababble is (thankfully) drowned out by the increasingly sappy music, and, combined with the back-and-forth between her scene and LC's, this can only mean one thing: there's a reunion coming up someday. "Maybe Holly will just peace everything out," Heidi hopes. Maybe she will, Heidi. Maybe she will.

"That's probably like hugging it out, right?"

Dearest lovely readers, I leave you tonight with one final screengrab. This was a very special moment wherein the stars aligned, my computer streaming video from MTV.com went a little kooky, and we got some digital freakiness that revealed the real Stephanie Pratt.

HYPNOSTEPH.................... HYPNOSTEPH WILL EAT YOUR SOULLLLLLLLL.........."

Now THAT would be scary to live with. See you on the boards!

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Posted in The Hills by O. Snapp at 8:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (12)
Last Comment: uglycutie on Sep 21, 2008 09:15 PM.