Heidi's voice has retained the Unemployment Drone Tone of last episode, and she unenthusiastically accuses Spencer of getting her fired. He (correctly) informs her that he didn't make her get fucked up and sass her boss. We watch Spencer listen as Heidi yaps about how she hopes she can get her job back, then she somehow segues that conversation into another accusation about her sister, about whom Heidi is evidently worried. "SHE'S 25. SHE'S GONNA BE FINE," Spencer says, and I hate to agree with him, but he's right. Spence never stays on my good side for long, and happily dances back over to my eye-rolling hatred with the comment that he was trying to celebrate her "day off" (which I'm sure is what millions of former bank employees are calling it these days) and all she wants to do is complain.
Now I know why Heidi never frowns. It appears to be REALLY painful.
LC and Blahdrina show up to a bar wearing matching skinny jeans and equally hideous floppy tops, each special in their own eye-searing, bad-pattern ways. The girls share their very own "Sex and the City" moment by gabbing about friendship and men at the bar, and LC comments that she can't remember the last time they had a drink out together, just the two of them. I'm willing to wager it was when they were both underage, at least. Their saga has been THAT LONG. They agree that when they're together, they attract trouble. I'm sure the cameras and producers have nothing to do with that.
"We are Siamese if you please."
Sometimes I think that MTV makes these girls go drinking for two reasons only: 1) to make them walk around all silly in their stilettos and fuck up their makeup 2) to have a legitimate reason (loud music) to use subtitles, and therefore make you pay more attention to the "plot" and also be able to put any words into their close-leaning, hand-covered mouths. This little segment is a classic and appalling example of how you can make anyone say anything if you have 2 cameras and the girls react to each other. (Disclaimer: this is gonna be a lot of pictures, but seriously, it's a shot-by-shot analysis of BAD EDITING. Or perhaps GOOD EDITING, with MEDDLESOME PRODUCERS.)
This one's my favorite, because you can actually SEE that neither of them is talking.
Don't you love how you can't see anyone's mouths? By the way, this is the part where LC tells Blahdrina that Holly's living with her, Blahdrina is shocked, then Blahdrina talks about Pigpen and says "now I'm letting him call all the shots." Oh really? As opposed to when? That time you totally broke up with him then forgave him for no reason? What do you mean that happens every three days? I'm shocked. Shocked. Blahdrina seems defeated to the idea that she has a connection with him that she's never had with anyone, which is very wise for a 22-year-old to say. I'm sure there are only so many dicks in the sea. "Pigpen will always be your #1," LC says. I think she means that in a condescending, sad way, like she's realizing that there's no hope for Blahdrina. But Blah jumps at this statement, happily exclaiming, "That's what I told him!" LC just looks down and tries not to vomit into her gin and tonic.
At the new Blahteau, Fawning Sister Figure is doing her job by proclaiming her disbelief at how beautiful and girlie everything is.
"If by 'beautiful' you mean 'ugly as shit'."
Blahdrina mentions that her jerkoff has been coming around a lot more now that he doesn't have to deal with obnoxiously protective and caring roommates. Why, he's even going to help her hang some photos this week! I'm sorry, but hasn't this girl never heard of a ladder? Or standing on a chair? Or teaching herself how to levitate? She says it's actually kind of nice traversing the roads between Hollywood and Venice Beach to each others' single homes in order to sleep together exclusively. It sure makes a lot of sense. As further proof of his advancement in human maturity, she mentions the presence of his toothbrush upstairs and offer to go on vacation to Mexico with her.
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Comments (8)
O.Snapp, you have done it again! The re-cap was the best part of this weeks episode.
Why were Heidi and Spencer so mad about Holli moving in with LC??? They kicked her out, why should they care who she lives with.
And everytime I look at Heidi's face, I want to go grocery shopping. Of course I want plastic instead of paper! duh!!
I do hope that Whitney finds her comb and flat iron before its to late.
And last, but not least....What kind of present is a white tee from the GAP??
1 of 8 | Posted by FatGirlsRule | Posted on November 19, 2008 6:34 AM
how long is this show going to go on? it has no substance and nothing interesting happens on it at all. oh what most of america enjoys shows that fit that description.
all the people on this show are vapid, ignorant, mean and about as interesting as tan paint, drying. that pretty much fits the description of anyone under the age of 25.
i no longer can watch the show, but i still get a kick out of the snarky recaps. so o-snapp you are none of the above, thanks for bringing a little happy to my day.
2 of 8 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on November 19, 2008 9:04 AM
I'm not buying it either. Someone get counseling for this lady stat!Audrina nooooooooooooo are you crazy?
The recap was very entertaining very much unlike the show; horrible editing, vioce overs, silence.
Your exactly right, Men show themselves right away and women can take it or leave it. Women, be choosey! Dear Lord Amen
3 of 8 | Posted by Sweetleaf | Posted on November 19, 2008 9:55 AM
O.Snapp...you rock! I laughed out loud at this recap. My fiance watched this show for the first time with me this past episode and he made two astute observations...1) He said "Why does that guy (Justin Bobby) dress like a homeless person?" and 2) How much of this is actual show and how much is commercials with those two annoying people (the aftershow)? Both of which are unfortunately true seeing as how JB does dress like a bum and the "show" is about 12 minutes long with 22 minutes of commercials. Needless, to say he wasn't a huge fan. My favorite part of the night was when there was a knock on the Speidi's door and Heidi-ho looked up like "I wonder who is here, I don't have any friends so...?"
4 of 8 | Posted by Yanksfan24 | Posted on November 19, 2008 12:15 PM
The fact that you were able to work Vigo the Carpathian into a Hills recap makes you my television recap GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!
5 of 8 | Posted by heathie66 | Posted on November 19, 2008 1:44 PM
Heidi got her job back. I wonder if she spit or swallowed.....hmmmmmm.
6 of 8 | Posted by fatgirlsrule | Posted on November 19, 2008 6:26 PM
I enjoyed the recap. Thanks.
I agree with Reckless that nothing interesting is happening on "The Hills". Lauren has let her show be taken over by Heidi and Spencer and their fake relationship and Audrina and Justin Bobby and their fake relationship. It's kind of sad becaue Lauren and Lo are likable enough but I guess they are kind of bland and the show's producers want drama and gossip first and foremost. I have tired of Heidi and Spencer and Audrina and Justin Bobby and their famewhore ways which has worked out perfectly for them. This show needs some new blood and scriptwriting.
7 of 8 | Posted by Skylar | Posted on November 23, 2008 9:00 AM
Heidi got her fake job back? I am so over this show!
8 of 8 | Posted by ubiquitous | Posted on November 25, 2008 6:46 AM