Blahdrina tells LC that they need to talk. LC's eyes glaze over with the serene defensiveness to which she's become accustomed after five years of absolutely no privacy and an array of backstabbing bitches constantly hollering at her. "I never accused you, Lauren," Blah begins, "I just asked you." LC replies that she asked her several times, and, much like Amy Winehouse's response to her producers' requests for a stint at rehab, "I said no, no, no!" She remarks that it's sad Blahdrina doesn't believe her. "Do you understand what you're accusing me of?" she says. Blahdrina meekly asks, "What was I supposed to do? I asked you!"
"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE ME." Lauren's face is getting all red and puffy, and there are veins popping in her forehead. "Because I'm your friend and I've never been anything but to you. Tell me what I've done to make you think I'm capable of this." And here's where Bladrina gets the kooky out: "You want me to make you a list? You guys HAVE been flirting..."
"WHAAAAAAAAT THE FUUUUUUUUCK??????"
Dude, she IS a nut. I mean, LC has never even run into Pigpen in the kitchen during breakfast or anything. She very understandably freaks out at this notion. "FLIRTING! Blahdrina, I would rather kill myself than hook up with him. He is disgusting. He DISGUSTS ME." Blahdrina knows she's losing the battle for audience sympathy, so she goes for the gold: "You're doing the same thing that you did to Heidi to me." At this point, I'm pretty sure that LC has given up on trying to save the friendship. "No, I'm not, because you're WAY worse than HEIDI." Damn girl, them's fightin' words. We all thought there was nothing worse than the rhino-Toxed collagen queen. Blahdrina's eyes widen as though someone has just insulted her mother's fidelity. "NO I'M F---ING NOT!" she seethes. LC weeps, exhausted, and tries to reason with Blahdrina, "You know me!" Blahdrina has no acceptable comeback, so she pulls one out that she probably heard in a movie on TBS that afternoon: "Apparently not."
By the by, who is this random woman sitting in their booth and listening?
Blahdrina and the mystery woman (producer?) leave as LC sobs into Lo's designer dress. I sit back in my La-Z-Boy, sip some whiskey and marvel at the awesomeness of REAL reality TV. I mean, okay, maybe some parts of it were fake, but I think that a lot of it was relatively authentic. We haven't gotten an episode like this in months. Years, perhaps. LC was yelling/crying so hard I thought she might have an aneurism. A friend of mine told me today that she heard Blahdrina made up the rumor herself because she thought she wasn't getting enough airtime on the show. But, as we all know... you can't believe everything you hear.
I leave you with happy wishes for a gluttonous, long weekend and some extra screengrabs of everybody finding out that Heidi just got more plastic surgery. XOXOsnapp
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Comments (17)
Anyone notice how when Heidi comes home and asked Spencer if he saw anyone that day (in which we are to assume she is referring to Holly) her hair is totally different than when Holly visited her earlier that "day?" Curly at work but crimped later...must be a classic MTV/Hills reshoot. Nice.
1 of 17 | Posted by blazergirl | Posted on November 26, 2008 11:39 AM
Audrina used to be my favorite...now she's just crazy. After Justin and Lauren told her many times that they didn't hook up....she still kept asking if they did! hellllo?! did you not hear what they said? I think she's overly obsessed with Justin...and she's a crazy person that actually believes that Lauren would hook up with Justin. seriously?? I think she would believe if he hooked up with Brody. At the club when Lauren had said 'no no no no' Audrina asked her again if she did! what the hell? And she even said that she has no reason to apologize Lauren cuz she didn't do anything. Yes she did! she accused her friend of something, when she repeatedly told you no!
2 of 17 | Posted by jozeyg | Posted on November 26, 2008 11:55 AM
Justin... was very eloquent and well spoken in this episode. I NEVER thought I would agree with anything he ever said but he was spot on, and he did it calmly. Audrina is RIDICULOUS.
Speidi married?! What a joke.
3 of 17 | Posted by Kara | Posted on November 26, 2008 12:00 PM
Blazergirl--not only was her hair different-- she was in a completely different outfit! They aren't even making an attempt at continuity.
4 of 17 | Posted by nhmom | Posted on November 26, 2008 12:17 PM
Dude! I'm sure the producers were so excited to finally have some 'REAL' material, they didn't think we'd notice any lack of continuity! ha!
5 of 17 | Posted by Thatswhatshesaid | Posted on November 26, 2008 2:54 PM
O, I haven't finished reading your recap yet, cuz you said to STOP and WATCH this one.
So I'm off to go watch *cringe* the episode on your word...
This horror that I'm about to subject myself to should be proof of how much I enjoy your recaps of "The Hills".
Please stay.
6 of 17 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on November 26, 2008 6:17 PM
I don't watch the show but your recaps crack me up! Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
7 of 17 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on November 26, 2008 7:04 PM
...And I'm back.
I see what you're saying now. It seems that there were some real emotional reaction shots in this episode. There must be a snowfight going on in hell...
My theories about why Audrina is accusing LC of sleeping with JustinBobby:
1. To get more camera time
2. She's a drama queen who's too dumb to stir up real drama
3. She's insecure about JB's feelings and (mistakenly) thinks this will push him to declare his feelings about her and make her feel better
4. She's passive-aggressively ending her friendship with LC, so she can get her own LC-less spin-off
5. She's HUNGRY!!! It's hard to think straight on an empty stomach. And we know she hasn't eaten in months, so...
At this rate, the only friend LC will have is Lo. LC either needs to raise her friendship standards to the ones she has for dates or...wait. Never mind.
8 of 17 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on November 26, 2008 7:06 PM
btw, to all those who hate team speidi, the good news about their recent "wedding" means it's now only a matter of time before their "divorce"/breakup
9 of 17 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on November 26, 2008 10:56 PM
Okay, so I stopped watching this show at the beginning of last season, and haven't seen any episodes of this season at all. However, after reading the recap, I was intrigued, and just finished.
WTF? Okay, so, when Audrina says, "You're doing the same thing to me that you did to Heidi" . . . well, that was just silly. Because LAUREN is actually the Heidi in this situation, and AUDRINA is the Lauren. Basically, Audrina is accusing Lauren of doing something bad (which is what Lauren did to Heidi), and after Lauren has denied this more than once (as Heidi did to Lauren), Audrina has insisted on persuing the matter, and stirred some sh*t up (as Lauren did with Heidi).
And when Lauren said that Audrina was worse than Heidi, I have to agree. Well, to quantify, in this situation at least. Perhaps not in general.
Just my opinion.
Also, I wholeheartedly agree with the whole Spencer-has-all-the-characteristics-of-an-abuser logic. How can he not look at these episodes and go, "Wow, I'm a douche with a capital Bag. I really need to change my life." I mean, how he acted toward Holly was just ridiculous.
One last thing: When Heidi came home to talk to him after work, he totally looked like he was peeing in the kitchen sink for a moment or two.
10 of 17 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on November 27, 2008 1:20 AM
I hate to say it but Justin was smokin hot in that restaurant. And well spoken, makes him finally worth the drama.
11 of 17 | Posted by miss tint | Posted on November 28, 2008 2:42 AM
miss tint -- thank you for saying that. I've thought Justin was hot ever since he cut his hair and "cleaned up." He's an ass, but a hot one.
12 of 17 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on November 28, 2008 10:34 AM
Oh no Miss Tint and Hypnotoad.. now Audrida is gonna have to sit down and write a list on how you been flirting with her boyfriend. Dino is dropping a dime right now to Audrina to talk about your posts as I type this.. if I were you I'd put my cell phone straight to voice mail right about now...
13 of 17 | Posted by donnabgood | Posted on November 28, 2008 6:23 PM
only hypnotoad could call someone a hot mess and mean it as a compliment. do you use that line in bars? lol
14 of 17 | Posted by flipit | Posted on November 28, 2008 6:31 PM
Oh, flipit, you know the only thing you can do with a hot mess is take it home and hose it down!
Yeah, so Audrina just sent me a 12 minute voicemail about how shady I am. Shady, just shady! I swear, I did not sleep with Justin Bobby! I got lice from a subway seat . . . I think she bought it.
Oh, and I really don't like Lo. At all. In fact, she's one of the main reasons I'm not watching this season.
15 of 17 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on November 28, 2008 11:01 PM
You guys are a riot!!
I didn't watch this ep. I could kick myself. But the Spencer "sketches" are getting old. "Oh, that was mean"..."can't believe he said that"...etc. Just kill Heidi already and get off my TV.
16 of 17 | Posted by uglycutie | Posted on November 29, 2008 9:52 AM
That screengrab of Lo makes her look like the love child of Kristen Bell and Galadriel from Lord of the Rings. "I will diminish, and go into the west, and become the annoying BFF of a pseudo-celebrity, and none of us will ever have a talent for anything. Ever."
(But I totally heart Kristen Bell. Veronica Mars rocks my gosh-darn face off)
17 of 17 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on November 29, 2008 1:24 PM