As we head to Vegas, some aerial shots look suspiciously like well-lit miniature models of the town. This just looks like a display from a souvenir shop in NYC. Can I get a "hell yeah?"
Five Dallah
At the Sahara, Ol' Sammy Boy is guiding a money tour of the casino, while Heidi, the only cute, skinny, fake-boobed blonde chick in a group of five fame-hungry men in black, pretends to take notes. This is a good group dynamic, I'm sure. She probably gets a ton of respect giggling at all of Sam's jokes and swooning, "Ammmmaaaaaziiiinnnggg" at the turn of every corner. He's showing you a casino he wants to buy, not his personal penthouse loft.
Back in L.A., LC has begun full-time (read: whenever cameras are around) work at People's Revolution. Hey, remember the days when, to get a job, these girls had to at least pretend to go on an interview? I guess they had to kill that practice when too many 18-year-olds were showing up to interviews with PR firms, blathering, "Retail?! Ummm, I just wanna plan parties and be, like, the fun party girl in L.A.!" Anyway, Whitney asks how Blahdrina is do-ink and - oh holy lord - what is that - I haven't seen this phenomenon in what feels like months - is it?! Could it be?! IT IS!
COLOR! PRAISE THE LORD!
Didn't know they had Technicolor over at MTV Studios. Kelly Cutthroat must be outta town. So LC explains how difficult things are rapidly becoming at home and insists that she doesn't think she did anythink. Uh-oh. Maybe she should cut down on the Speech Therapy With Whitney classes. Whitney insists that if there's a problem, she should talk to Blah. But LC reveals that all they ever had in common was living together, so how close would they be without that? I wonder what they ever had in common before they moved in together.
En route to the city of neon, Spencer has, indeed, dragged his sister along for no apparent reason. Perhaps she's a fabulous road DJ. Maybe he wanted someone to bounce ideas off of for his win-Heidi-back speech. Or maybe he just wanted someone around in case any spontaneous Jane Fonda aerobics broke out along the way.
Either way, he's totally covered.
However, she's hesitant, stating for the record that she does not want to be "an accumpliss." No danger of that, dearie. You're around for same reasons as those inflatable Santa lawn ornaments: seasonal tacky decoration. Spencer knows this too, and "sshhh"s her even during the few moments she actually does shut up. That's kind of like telling your dog to sit when he already is, then declaring, "Ta da!" to all your beer-guzzling buddies.
In a ploy to show she COULD be a CTU field agent, Steph rings up Heidi to squeeze out some vital info about her whereabouts, while Spencer shakes his head with fury and a little girl in the car beside him stares during a stoplight. Twenty years ago, that woulda been me, blowing on the glass and making face until he looked over.
"Pssst... your face looks like a blonde crotch."
That shot must have lasted approximately ten years, because when we cut back to Stephanie, she's about thirty pounds heavier and is lookin' like she's on the 2007 side of VMA Britney.
"Let's go get some cigarettes, y'all!"
They roll up on the Palazzo like it's LC at Opera and Spencer leaps out of the car, asking the valet where da club is. That valet must have thought Spencer REALLY needed to boogie, like RIGHT NOW. Lady Pratt calls out "Spencer! Wait, Spencer!" Doesn't she know by now that shouting his name repeatedly has no effect on his actions? I'm sure there's something in there about how his mother disciplined him (or didn't) and how that has carried into his hot-headed adulthood (and I use the term technically only) but I won't delve too deeply here. We'll save it for the good folks at PsychotherapyGasm.
"You seem like a nice young fellow... know where a girl can score an eight-ball?"
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Comments (15)
Gawd, I am so sick of Spencer and Heidi's bullshit. I am incredulous that BB would even consider including Heidi in this big project considering how much she fucked up her last big gig. Then there's the double contrivance of She-Pratt blabbing about what happened to Heidi despite his promises to not do anything crazy and Heidi telling She-Pratt her exact location when she called her from Spencer's car. Yeah, right. And of course, Spencer shows himself to be a total sociopath by "forcing" She-Pratt to accompany him to Vegas and abandoning her in the parking lot. So, in the end, Heidi once again bails on BB to go home with Spencer. Oh, really? Maybe it's just me, but I have this eerie sense of deja vu watching this play out, but I'd care if I didn't know that Heidi's job is as fake as her face.
I have no idea what the deal was with LC and Lo attempting a have supper with Audrina. Did they bother to invite her? Did Lo tell LC she invited Audrina but didn't in order to further sabotage their friendship?
1 of 15 | Posted by ubiquitous | Posted on May 14, 2008 9:34 AM
POST YOUR UNPOPULAR OPINIONS!
We kind of did this at the end of last season. Post your opinions that may be unpopular. Here are mine:
1)LC is basically self-centered and boring.
2) Audrina is the least annoying person on the show.
3)Whitney would be perfect if she didn't TALK LIKE A VALLEY GIRL! goodness.
4) LO was ALWAYS a bitch, nothing new.
5)this show is actually pretty fun to watch!
2 of 15 | Posted by AsIf | Posted on May 14, 2008 10:29 AM
So, does anyone know the scoop on why LC dumped LO for a while?
It has been mentioned before that LC dumped LO over JEN Bunney...then LC dumped Heidi over Spencer...then she dumps Audrina for Lo...FUG LAUREN KEEP A FRIEND!
O. SNAPP:
As of last week Audrina is still living in the poolhouse according to a radio show Spencer did with ryan seacrest.
3 of 15 | Posted by AsIf | Posted on May 14, 2008 10:53 AM
Great recap O.Snapp! I look forward to your recaps for next season.
I remember Lauren saying Jen Bunney was the cause of the problems between Lauren & Lo. She would tell Lauren Lo was saying bad stuff about her and vise versa. Eventually Lauren and Lo got together and figured it out.
I can't believe Heidi even got up from the table to go talk to Spencer. I would have said no go away I will talk to you later when I'm done. But we all know she wanted to have a fake horrible music career instead of working for Bolthouse. LOL!
4 of 15 | Posted by akgirl7 | Posted on May 14, 2008 11:31 AM
"accumpliss" hilarious!
5 of 15 | Posted by User Name | Posted on May 14, 2008 12:20 PM
the whole "fight" between Heidi and Spencer looked more like a scene from a bad soap opera than the hills! Heidi was so over-acting! It's pretty bad when I find Spencer getting more likeable.
Lauren is really starting to get on my nerves...she always pushes her friends away...how can she not see that Lo is a complete b*tch towards Aud? I really liked the way Audrina handled that conversation.
6 of 15 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on May 14, 2008 1:36 PM
Hey O. Snapp I've been reading TVgasm for a couple of years now and your recaps are great.
Good season, except for all of the Brody bs.
7 of 15 | Posted by Scorpio23 | Posted on May 14, 2008 1:46 PM
What about Lo's totally insencere "You look upset" comment to Lauren? It didn't have a speck of honesty or real concern in it! I've gotten chills from people who have fake-reacted like that when I've been upset.
8 of 15 | Posted by boris8 | Posted on May 14, 2008 6:02 PM
Could someone fill me in on what the previews were for next season? Everyone's making it sound so exciting!
9 of 15 | Posted by dani2526 | Posted on May 14, 2008 7:03 PM
PREVIEWS:
Lauren gets a new boyfriend
Audrina fights with LO
and Stephanie goes completely to Lauren's side and SPEIDI cuts her out.
10 of 15 | Posted by AsIf | Posted on May 14, 2008 8:40 PM
Haha.. uhh... Team Lo, I guess. I hated LC on Laguna Beach and still hate her on The Hills, but I always thought Lo was hilarious and bitchy and at least she was upfront about it.
Audrina is a sweet girl, but she was pretty much shoved into Lauren's life to replace Heidi and that's why last season was SO boring. Because those two were never that close of friends to begin with. They should make Lo a full cast member, seeing as she and LC don't have to fake their friendship.
But really, this show is soooo retarded. You guys realize that NOTHING happened this season? Like... what the hell... we all know Speidi storyline was fake, other than that... ? ? ? Did anything actually happen with the 15 or so episodes?
11 of 15 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on May 15, 2008 10:21 AM
Can anyone tell me when/where it was announced there was going to be another season? I don't know how I completely missed that!
12 of 15 | Posted by rtvfan | Posted on May 15, 2008 3:17 PM
My sister forced me to look at Heidi's myspace page, on which I saw a few comments from girls that literally said, "You are a role model to me."
Pray for our future.
13 of 15 | Posted by ez rider | Posted on May 15, 2008 4:44 PM
call me crazy but did anyone else notice that in the scene between audrina and lauren the word "Lo" seemed dubbed every time? I don't recall us actually seeing the word Lo come out of their mouths. Wait, once audrina said it, but watch again. I think the scene was fake just like all the others. Still fun to watch, but they seem to be forcing and setting up this storyline to be the big one for next season.
14 of 15 | Posted by Hillschic | Posted on May 16, 2008 2:55 PM
i hate to say it, but spencer is the best actor on the hills, he doesnt have the smile behind the eyes like the rest of them do when they are saying their "lines".
15 of 15 | Posted by partysunflower | Posted on May 22, 2008 3:26 PM