In Vegas, a limo pulls up next to Brent while some junkie in a red bowling shirt walks over and mutters "Welcome to the Bellagio." Tony Soprano emerges from the car and Brent asks for just two more minutes to wait for Heidi, but Tony ain't havin' it. "I'll be in the caw," he grumbles with displeasure. Brent makes one more attempt at calling her, but, seeing his own ass on the line, ultimately decides to peace out and save his own job.
"Yo, got a dollar for the bus?"
And the next shot we see is Spencer & Heidi descending the escalator together. You. Have. Got. To. Be. Fucking. Kidding. Me. You're telling me that Heidi not only quit her (fake) job altogether just to spend more time with Spencer, but she did it by not even making a phone call to her boss? Didn't Heidi learn ANYTHING from LC's Paris/Jason fiasco??? Opportunities like that don't just come around twice in a lifetime. I mean, unless you're LC, in which case, they do. Aw fuck. I seriously fear for the legions of teenage girls who look to the Hills Heroines as role models. Girls, this is NOT the way to run your life.
The cost of Heidi's heart
Sigh. Let's see if there are any other poor life choices being made. At the LauLoBlahteau, Lauren wanders into Lo's room, where the latter is texting in bed. Tsk, tsk, don't get crumbs on your sheets! LC earnestly pours her heart out to an uncaring Lo about wanting to go to Blahdrina and comfort her as a friend (which is actually really sweet), but Lo looks at her with the sternness of a ruler-wielding nun.
"NO MASTURBATING."
Well, at least that's more appropriate than what she does next, which is giggle and say it's so ridiculous while LC is crying on her bed. Ummmmm, okay... probably not the support Lauren was looking for, but we'll take it, I guess. LC exits the house, walks all the way around the pool, and knock's on Blahdrina's door. Blah, reading on the couch and looking like death tanned over, beckons her in. LC compliments her on the décor.
"Yeah, I love that Skittles On A Baguette look."
Yeah, I like how you mixed earth tones with electric blue and neon green. Most people probably wouldn't try that. And most people would be right. "You have good taste," LC offers, and Blahdrina shrugs, nodding, all, "Duh." Lauren sits down and there is that unbelievably awkward pause between the two of them, the one that says "So, what do you want?" and "Are we about to fight?" and "I fucking hate Lo" all in one moment.
LC comments on how Blah never comes to the Big House. Blahdrina says she doesn't feel welcome up there. LC says she and Lo want her up there. Blahdrina diverts her eyes. LC already is fighting tears, but trying to sputter out some kind of peace offering. Then something weird happens. As Blahdrina lightly accuses LC of ignoring her around Lo and LC defends herself and her oldest friend, there is a ring of... dare I say it... truth to their conversation. There are no "I wanna forgive you, and I wanna forget you," perfect-sounding, script-y lines. It's a normal, very uncomfortable confrontation between two friends, with what appears to be an appropriate amount of pauses and silence between sentences. Neither of them seems to know what to say to each other, but they're trying. I'm not sure what I'm viewing here, but as Lauren's lower lip trembles wildly, it feels actually sad to watch.
Lauren stares at Blahdrina at one point. "Well. I don't want to fight any more, I just wanted to... tell you how I feel." That's not the way to solve anything! Blah knows that, so she doesn't let her leave and instead tells LC that she's been feeling this way because of Lo. "I don't let the opinions of others affect my friendships," LC insists, which, first of all, I don't really believe - and if I had all three seasons on DVD I could probably find an instance where she's wrong but I don't trust my memory alone (I've been corrected before). Secondly, that just tells us all that Lo's been talking shit about Blahdrina behind her back. In the end, nothing at all is accomplished, but LC does emerge from the house unscathed, so that's a good sign. Then we get this shot of Spencer & Heidi, the location of which I'm not sure:
Soooo.... I guess Stephanie went back to L.A.?
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Comments (15)
Gawd, I am so sick of Spencer and Heidi's bullshit. I am incredulous that BB would even consider including Heidi in this big project considering how much she fucked up her last big gig. Then there's the double contrivance of She-Pratt blabbing about what happened to Heidi despite his promises to not do anything crazy and Heidi telling She-Pratt her exact location when she called her from Spencer's car. Yeah, right. And of course, Spencer shows himself to be a total sociopath by "forcing" She-Pratt to accompany him to Vegas and abandoning her in the parking lot. So, in the end, Heidi once again bails on BB to go home with Spencer. Oh, really? Maybe it's just me, but I have this eerie sense of deja vu watching this play out, but I'd care if I didn't know that Heidi's job is as fake as her face.
I have no idea what the deal was with LC and Lo attempting a have supper with Audrina. Did they bother to invite her? Did Lo tell LC she invited Audrina but didn't in order to further sabotage their friendship?
1 of 15 | Posted by ubiquitous | Posted on May 14, 2008 9:34 AM
POST YOUR UNPOPULAR OPINIONS!
We kind of did this at the end of last season. Post your opinions that may be unpopular. Here are mine:
1)LC is basically self-centered and boring.
2) Audrina is the least annoying person on the show.
3)Whitney would be perfect if she didn't TALK LIKE A VALLEY GIRL! goodness.
4) LO was ALWAYS a bitch, nothing new.
5)this show is actually pretty fun to watch!
2 of 15 | Posted by AsIf | Posted on May 14, 2008 10:29 AM
So, does anyone know the scoop on why LC dumped LO for a while?
It has been mentioned before that LC dumped LO over JEN Bunney...then LC dumped Heidi over Spencer...then she dumps Audrina for Lo...FUG LAUREN KEEP A FRIEND!
O. SNAPP:
As of last week Audrina is still living in the poolhouse according to a radio show Spencer did with ryan seacrest.
3 of 15 | Posted by AsIf | Posted on May 14, 2008 10:53 AM
Great recap O.Snapp! I look forward to your recaps for next season.
I remember Lauren saying Jen Bunney was the cause of the problems between Lauren & Lo. She would tell Lauren Lo was saying bad stuff about her and vise versa. Eventually Lauren and Lo got together and figured it out.
I can't believe Heidi even got up from the table to go talk to Spencer. I would have said no go away I will talk to you later when I'm done. But we all know she wanted to have a fake horrible music career instead of working for Bolthouse. LOL!
4 of 15 | Posted by akgirl7 | Posted on May 14, 2008 11:31 AM
"accumpliss" hilarious!
5 of 15 | Posted by User Name | Posted on May 14, 2008 12:20 PM
the whole "fight" between Heidi and Spencer looked more like a scene from a bad soap opera than the hills! Heidi was so over-acting! It's pretty bad when I find Spencer getting more likeable.
Lauren is really starting to get on my nerves...she always pushes her friends away...how can she not see that Lo is a complete b*tch towards Aud? I really liked the way Audrina handled that conversation.
6 of 15 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on May 14, 2008 1:36 PM
Hey O. Snapp I've been reading TVgasm for a couple of years now and your recaps are great.
Good season, except for all of the Brody bs.
7 of 15 | Posted by Scorpio23 | Posted on May 14, 2008 1:46 PM
What about Lo's totally insencere "You look upset" comment to Lauren? It didn't have a speck of honesty or real concern in it! I've gotten chills from people who have fake-reacted like that when I've been upset.
8 of 15 | Posted by boris8 | Posted on May 14, 2008 6:02 PM
Could someone fill me in on what the previews were for next season? Everyone's making it sound so exciting!
9 of 15 | Posted by dani2526 | Posted on May 14, 2008 7:03 PM
PREVIEWS:
Lauren gets a new boyfriend
Audrina fights with LO
and Stephanie goes completely to Lauren's side and SPEIDI cuts her out.
10 of 15 | Posted by AsIf | Posted on May 14, 2008 8:40 PM
Haha.. uhh... Team Lo, I guess. I hated LC on Laguna Beach and still hate her on The Hills, but I always thought Lo was hilarious and bitchy and at least she was upfront about it.
Audrina is a sweet girl, but she was pretty much shoved into Lauren's life to replace Heidi and that's why last season was SO boring. Because those two were never that close of friends to begin with. They should make Lo a full cast member, seeing as she and LC don't have to fake their friendship.
But really, this show is soooo retarded. You guys realize that NOTHING happened this season? Like... what the hell... we all know Speidi storyline was fake, other than that... ? ? ? Did anything actually happen with the 15 or so episodes?
11 of 15 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on May 15, 2008 10:21 AM
Can anyone tell me when/where it was announced there was going to be another season? I don't know how I completely missed that!
12 of 15 | Posted by rtvfan | Posted on May 15, 2008 3:17 PM
My sister forced me to look at Heidi's myspace page, on which I saw a few comments from girls that literally said, "You are a role model to me."
Pray for our future.
13 of 15 | Posted by ez rider | Posted on May 15, 2008 4:44 PM
call me crazy but did anyone else notice that in the scene between audrina and lauren the word "Lo" seemed dubbed every time? I don't recall us actually seeing the word Lo come out of their mouths. Wait, once audrina said it, but watch again. I think the scene was fake just like all the others. Still fun to watch, but they seem to be forcing and setting up this storyline to be the big one for next season.
14 of 15 | Posted by Hillschic | Posted on May 16, 2008 2:55 PM
i hate to say it, but spencer is the best actor on the hills, he doesnt have the smile behind the eyes like the rest of them do when they are saying their "lines".
15 of 15 | Posted by partysunflower | Posted on May 22, 2008 3:26 PM