Heidi moans that she wishes she could join in on the fun of catching up on what's been going on with LC in the last two years. I make a mental note to email her a link to TVGasm. She disbelievingly laments her inability to talk to her BEST FRIEND "because of something I had nothing to do with." Say what??
Valedictorian of the Sarah Palin School Of Logic
Holly tries to give her big sisterly advice but Heidi's too busy complaining about losing her BFF to hear what Holly's saying under her. Certainly, dear, complaining will get you everywhere in this world. It's gotten you this far! She takes the Momtag way out and works up some tears for sympathy. Holls suggests she write a letter to LC, but Heidi's afraid she won't read it. Perhaps because of that whole "forgive you/forget you" exchange? Hmm. If you were LC, would you read it? I'd like to say I'd tear down a wall and build myself a fireplace in my own California home just to have a place to burn it, but then again, I have a pretty strong curiosity and would probably be DYING to at least see how many spelling errors she makes.
MTV's music selection gets evermore sloppy as we're led into the next scene with a song that's not only full of sappy lyrics AND has an off-key singer, it's not even catchy! Step it up, MTV. Live up to your own M at least. Anyway, then it's time for another date set up by the casting director. Ladies and gentlemen, Colin.
Tonight's dreamboat brought to you by Prell.
They exchange the typical first date awkwartries (they're like pleasantries but horribly uncomfortable) like talking about how one of them used to ride a mechanical bull for a living. I'll let you guess who. Then Colin asks Blahdrina how she got involved with Sony.
"Well all I had to DO was get a nice fake rack and have my own camera crew."
Colin agrees that he's "always been into music." OMG, Blah, this may be your soul mate! You know, I would like to meet one person in my life who does NOT LIKE MUSIC. Not just someone who says, "I like everything but country and heavy metal" (although I would also like to meet someone who ONLY likes country and heavy metal), but someone who genuinely refuses to listen to dulcet tunes. Someone who will only listen to NPR and commercial breaks. If you are any of the above, please email me with a photo and a dirty joke to staff@tvgasm.com.
Jesus. Anyway. Back to the unique couple on a one-of-a-kind date. Blahdrina says that her job "doesn't really feel like work, it's, like, hanging out." I can see how that would be true to someone who gets paid to have a camera follow her every move and non-move. They cheers to... nothing in particular and Blahdrina winces, remarking that her drink is "kinda strong." Let's hope she doesn't pass out and become one of the above-listed reasons for a return to the Prohibition.
"Ick. This Rohypnol tastes like alcohol."
Blahdrina mentions (oh so subtly!) how she hates when couples fight when they get drunk. Who could she possibly be referring to? (eye roll.) Colin assures her that he's the happiest drunk she'll ever meet and her eyes light up like a tree on Christmas Day.
"Oooh! Just like Daddy!"
"Like Pigpen..." she continues, pretty buzzed herself. "Whenever he drinks, we get in fights." Hmmmm, methinks it's probably best not to mention an ex- (or half-current) boyfriend when you're OUT ON A DATE. Colin deftly averts the awkwardness by assuring Blah that he just gets a bigger smile the more inebriated he becomes, and she relaxes and says she's the same way when she gets fucked up, then they both guzzle tumblers full of gin 'n' tonics and cross their fingers that they've found incarnations of their parents in each other.
This episode brought to you by Liquor For America.
At the Hills-approved S Bar, LC repeats robotically, "CUTE MAN AT BAR COME SERVE." I'm sorry, but LC's standards seem to have plummeted. I'll make eyes at just about anything that moves, but even this one's a little too curl-product/scruffy for me.
Cromagno-tender
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Comments (13)
I can't help but get the feeling TPTB want to end this season(show?) with LC and Heidi making up.
1 of 13 | Posted by ubiquitous | Posted on October 9, 2008 9:52 AM
I think Lauren threw a pile of takeout menus at Holly when she said she wasn't a very good cook.
2 of 13 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on October 9, 2008 11:38 AM
Um what happened to the Heidi that broke up with Jordan because he yelled at her??? Spencer has just sucked the life right out of her.
3 of 13 | Posted by akgirl7 | Posted on October 9, 2008 3:05 PM
At first I thought this whole Spencer being controlling was an act but now I'm really starting to believe that Heidi really is a shell of her former self. Spencer really does play some mind games on her.
4 of 13 | Posted by chickadee2586 | Posted on October 9, 2008 3:14 PM
This recap saved me from crying over my Lousy Cold+Yom Kippur blues. Thanks!
I'm not sure what to say about the actual episode. I like Holly. Perhaps she decided to join the show in order to help her poor, crazy sister. An intervention of sorts.
Anyone know when the series is supposed to end?
5 of 13 | Posted by dani2526 | Posted on October 9, 2008 4:36 PM
"...ultimately Heidi made her own bed and now she has to fuck Spencer in it." OMG, so freakin' funny! So, so true....
Anyway...isn't Colin the guy from a previous episode? I believe the Halloween party at Lauren & Audrina's apartment episode....he was the Navy officer? He seems so familiar....
6 of 13 | Posted by mrngstar | Posted on October 9, 2008 7:24 PM
mrngstar - I thought the same thing but didn't that guy have an Australian accent????
7 of 13 | Posted by akgirl7 | Posted on October 10, 2008 3:21 PM
it is him! my how that accent fades, huh? mtv is lame.....
8 of 13 | Posted by mrngstar | Posted on October 10, 2008 8:09 PM
just wanted to tell you that my Mom hates music. as a child, and even now when i wind up in a car with her, she would usually refuse to allow music, as she finds it 'distracting'. in the rare instances where she has allowed music during a car ride, she puts it on so low that it becomes horribly annoying. granted, i prefer loud, fastpaced heavy metal and country music, but, come on. on the homefront, i don't believe the woman has had a stereo component in her home since i moved out. just thought you would want to know.
team blahdrina.
9 of 13 | Posted by vegasbroad | Posted on October 10, 2008 11:55 PM
it DEFINITELY wasn't cory... him and colin look completely different.
10 of 13 | Posted by kiwi | Posted on October 11, 2008 7:39 AM
LOL! @ Not just someone who says, "I like everything but country and heavy metal"
I just met a guy a few months ago who asked me what type of music I'm into and I literally gave the above responses word for word. lol Now I feel so lame...even though it's true. I swear. Here's my iPod as exhibit M.
I hate watching this show but your recaps almost convince me to watch it. Almost.
11 of 13 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on October 11, 2008 12:09 PM
Akgirl7, Spencer must be an excellent luvah because Heidi is acting very dick-nitized. That's Audrina's problem, too. It's hard for friends and reason to penetrate the dick-nitized haze.
12 of 13 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on October 11, 2008 12:28 PM
Exhibit A that Audrina is out of her mind: put up side-by-side screenshots of pubeface (ha!) and prell-guy. O, you're so right. By the third screenshot, I became a member of Team Mr. Prell. :)
13 of 13 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on October 11, 2008 12:31 PM