That is, of course, until Holls comes in to chat about Lauren and The Letter. Holly tells her LC misses her, and Heidi wearily explains that LC can befriend her again if she wishes; "I would be okay to do whatever, because... obviously I miss her and that was my best friend," she sighs, clearly exhausted by the boring, empty drama her life has become. Holly presses further until one Spencer Pratt enters the room.
"Get outta here, we're talking about menstrual cramps."
The girls fall into silence as Spencer leans against the couch and peers at them. It kind of feels like they're... scared of him? In the most disturbingly patient way, he quietly demands to know why they're talking about Lauren. Heidi turns away from him without a word and looks to her sister for rescue. The whole thing kind of reminds me of a thriller movie where two prisoners are just about to escape but then the warden comes in and they have to invent some kind of excuse for crafting a shiv out of a bar of soap or something.
While Heidi swallows and explains why she would dare write a letter to Frau Conrad, Spencer furrows his brow deeply like he's almost sad that he's going to have to beat Heidi tonight.
"Please Hammer, don't hurt 'em. And by 'em, I mean me."
"You leave me no choice, my dear."
Fuhrer Pratt accuses Holly of making Heidi keep secrets because, naturally, "when you don't tell someone something, that's a secret." Actually, that's called an omission. Once Holly (clearly the strong one in the family) starts fighting back, Spencer raises his voice with, "Who's talking to you?" "I'm HER FAMILY!" she shoots back, with PowerPoint presentation hand gestures to illustrate. Unable to debate logic, Spencer resorts to his old standby, the good-old "SHHHHHHHH" finger-over-mouth tactic.
Holly reveals (is it really a reveal? Hasn't it been pretty goddamn obvious since three seasons ago?) that Spencer is the reason LC won't be friends with her. Unsure of what to say or who to align with, Heidi's head volleys between her boy and her sis, who are debating the finer points of loyalty (as per usual). "Hey, I think it's GREAT you and Lauren aren't friends anymore," says Spencer, surprising no one on sentiment but certainly on audacity. At this point, Heidi hangs her head and stares into space, probably retreating into her "happy place" until all the loud noises are over.
Holls declares that there's still a chance for Heidi and LC and that "since it doesn't involve YOU [Spencer], it sounds like a great option!" FUCK YEAH!
At least it's good to know somebody on this show knows how to argue with a clear head and brass balls. I mean, little Holls very nearly could have been killed back there. Honestly, this little horrifying exchange was the best part of this episode, aside from the classic "ass tattoo" line by our dear homeless fellow. It's kind of painful to watch Heidi be trapped inside of herself - whether it's because of Spencer, or her own insecurities, or simply too much silicone and Restylane binding her up. Girl has got to go camping or something and figure out what the hell her existence is for - because shopping and sighing excessively really seems to be wearing her out. See you on the boards!
"This is as far as I pucker. This counts as a kiss goodbye, right?"
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Comments (13)
I can't help but get the feeling TPTB want to end this season(show?) with LC and Heidi making up.
1 of 13 | Posted by ubiquitous | Posted on October 9, 2008 9:52 AM
I think Lauren threw a pile of takeout menus at Holly when she said she wasn't a very good cook.
2 of 13 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on October 9, 2008 11:38 AM
Um what happened to the Heidi that broke up with Jordan because he yelled at her??? Spencer has just sucked the life right out of her.
3 of 13 | Posted by akgirl7 | Posted on October 9, 2008 3:05 PM
At first I thought this whole Spencer being controlling was an act but now I'm really starting to believe that Heidi really is a shell of her former self. Spencer really does play some mind games on her.
4 of 13 | Posted by chickadee2586 | Posted on October 9, 2008 3:14 PM
This recap saved me from crying over my Lousy Cold+Yom Kippur blues. Thanks!
I'm not sure what to say about the actual episode. I like Holly. Perhaps she decided to join the show in order to help her poor, crazy sister. An intervention of sorts.
Anyone know when the series is supposed to end?
5 of 13 | Posted by dani2526 | Posted on October 9, 2008 4:36 PM
"...ultimately Heidi made her own bed and now she has to fuck Spencer in it." OMG, so freakin' funny! So, so true....
Anyway...isn't Colin the guy from a previous episode? I believe the Halloween party at Lauren & Audrina's apartment episode....he was the Navy officer? He seems so familiar....
6 of 13 | Posted by mrngstar | Posted on October 9, 2008 7:24 PM
mrngstar - I thought the same thing but didn't that guy have an Australian accent????
7 of 13 | Posted by akgirl7 | Posted on October 10, 2008 3:21 PM
it is him! my how that accent fades, huh? mtv is lame.....
8 of 13 | Posted by mrngstar | Posted on October 10, 2008 8:09 PM
just wanted to tell you that my Mom hates music. as a child, and even now when i wind up in a car with her, she would usually refuse to allow music, as she finds it 'distracting'. in the rare instances where she has allowed music during a car ride, she puts it on so low that it becomes horribly annoying. granted, i prefer loud, fastpaced heavy metal and country music, but, come on. on the homefront, i don't believe the woman has had a stereo component in her home since i moved out. just thought you would want to know.
team blahdrina.
9 of 13 | Posted by vegasbroad | Posted on October 10, 2008 11:55 PM
it DEFINITELY wasn't cory... him and colin look completely different.
10 of 13 | Posted by kiwi | Posted on October 11, 2008 7:39 AM
LOL! @ Not just someone who says, "I like everything but country and heavy metal"
I just met a guy a few months ago who asked me what type of music I'm into and I literally gave the above responses word for word. lol Now I feel so lame...even though it's true. I swear. Here's my iPod as exhibit M.
I hate watching this show but your recaps almost convince me to watch it. Almost.
11 of 13 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on October 11, 2008 12:09 PM
Akgirl7, Spencer must be an excellent luvah because Heidi is acting very dick-nitized. That's Audrina's problem, too. It's hard for friends and reason to penetrate the dick-nitized haze.
12 of 13 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on October 11, 2008 12:28 PM
Exhibit A that Audrina is out of her mind: put up side-by-side screenshots of pubeface (ha!) and prell-guy. O, you're so right. By the third screenshot, I became a member of Team Mr. Prell. :)
13 of 13 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on October 11, 2008 12:31 PM