The Dudes spend an adequate amount of time impressing upon the girls how big this night is and how important it will be to remain focused and competent (two strikes already against Heidi; she's physically incapable of both. It's okay, she has a note from her doctor). You'd think that this, combined with being directly challenged by her boss' boss in reference to what happened "last time" would make Heidi run the straight and narrow. You would be wrong. The moment the Bossmen leave, Heidi prematurely congratulates herself (ugh, I HATE when that happens) to Kimmy on how organized it all is and how the night will run perfectly smoothly.
Pssst, Heidi, you're supposed to be talking to KIMBERLY.
"Yeah, I think I'll invite Spencer," she says, staring into the distance. "What, to HERE?" Kimberly says disbelievingly. "Yeah, and maybe have him bring his sister and stuff. And maybe Blahdrina," Heidi continues. Doesn't she notice that no one else is inviting people? Kimmy tries to persuade her into behaving like a goddamn professional, but that's not the Montag style. "We've got it under control. What's the harm in adding one more to the guest list?" she says, and just like that, fate is tempted like Dr. Atkins outside of an IHOP. Kimmy knows how this will turn out.
"Ruh-Roh!!"
At People's Revolution, LC is donning an odd hairpiece, a black headband/not-quite-a-headband. She and Whitney joke about what dorks they are, which is as infuriating as when models claim to have been awkward in high school. LC gabs about Blahdrina's moving plans, sighing that life will be weird without her... living in the dog house in the backyard. Whit fulfills her duties by being a reactionary face to cut to so MTV can dub a line from LC questioning Blah's motives. Suddenly LC says that Blahdrina's been looking for places to move in WITH Pigpen, which, I don't know about YOU, and certainly I wasn't actually there at the time, but I believe I distinctly heard Blah say that she wasn't getting her hopes up that Pigpen would move in (even though we know she really is). In any case, this prospect seems to anger Whitney with a sense of urgency I've never seen on her face.
"THEY MUST BE STOPPED"
Later, Blahdrina and Pigpen are out to dinner when Blahdrina comments how cute the restaurant is. Pigpen echoes my thoughts as he says disdainfully, "EVERYWHERE we go is cute." Sounds like his frustrated boyfriend syndrome has returned already! (Really, I shouldn't joke about that, I've lost many friends to this terrible affliction.) Blahdrina doesn't seem to notice and smiles vacantly, her face a terrifying, wet mess of radioactive self-tanner and teeth whitener.
Don't Overdew It.
Blahdrina tells him about her "kewwt" new house with clingy wide eyes as though her biological clock is ticking. Meanwhile, Pigpen is sitting with his entire body leaning away from her, so much so that his back is almost turned to her. She says she wants to show it to him, then he stares at her, chewing his lip, then she takes a deep breath and talks about her need to move on. I'm sure there was no pun intended. I would be honestly shocked if she knew what a pun is.
Pigpen sips his drink during an awkward silence and asks her what's wrong. In those few moments, her mood has plummeted and now it's HER back turned to him. He commands her not to lie and she asks him to move in with her, staring at him with the anxious hunger of an alligator watching its prey take its first few steps into the water. But Pigpen's no ordinary wildebeest. He's a human male degenerate, and he pushes off Blahdrina's request with the deft evasion we've come to expect from him. Blahdrina's eyes go even more dead than usual, staring into nothingness (perhaps she learned this technique from LC) to shield her broken heart. Whatev's, that's what you get for pressuring a dude for commitment when he JUST got back together with you.
The next day Blahdrina arrives at her new home with some chick who is brunette, toothy and vaguely slutty. Ohhhh I get it. Ladies and gents, this is (of course) Blahdrina's sister, Casey.
It's like if Blahdrina worked at L.A. Ink.
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Comments (10)
What is there to say?
Audrina is an idiot...but that could be said for the whole lot.
Pigpen is your typical selfish self-centered loser, honestly. As long as Audrina keeps coming back to him, he has no reason to change. He can do whatever he wants with no ramifications.
You can tell LC is bored with the show and wants out.
Was Heidi ever really employed at Bolthouse? I seriously want to know.
Thanks for the recap, the actual show sucks.
1 of 10 | Posted by Hey Buddy | Posted on November 7, 2008 9:33 AM
"At People's Revolution, LC is donning an odd hairpiece, a black headband/not-quite-a-headband."
When I saw this I just figured LC's been watching too much Gossip Girl and was trying out Blair Waldorf's style.
2 of 10 | Posted by flowie623 | Posted on November 7, 2008 10:42 AM
My thought after Audrina mentioned that JB was working was "he has a job???"
3 of 10 | Posted by blazergirl | Posted on November 7, 2008 10:49 AM
I was actually shocked when Audrina admitted she bought the house hoping JB would move in! I was just shocked. How incredibly deluded can you be?! I really do feel for her.
Did any of you watch the Aftershow? I think she realizes how ridiculous she looks and is trying to back-peddle. She kept saying she bought the house for just herself, but if everyone around her can tell she didn't (and she herself ADMITTED she didn't), it's a little too late now honey...
4 of 10 | Posted by Thatswhatshesaid | Posted on November 7, 2008 11:02 AM
That was exactly what I though, blazergirl. I never would have thought he was employed.
5 of 10 | Posted by LAjane | Posted on November 7, 2008 3:45 PM
I think I remember way back in the day someone here saying Pigpen is a (lol) barber.
6 of 10 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on November 7, 2008 4:33 PM
Audrina is sooo needy! She is pathetic! Her sister looks like she got in a terrible accident in an ink factory. This re-cap is the best part of The Hills. it is sooo funny!! But, I just knew there was going to be something said about at the end when LC was rubbing Lo's butt. Keep up the good work on the re-caps!!!
7 of 10 | Posted by FatGirlsRule | Posted on November 7, 2008 5:16 PM
Here4beer - Yes, I believe you are right. I think Justin is a hairstylist...
Odd, odd combination.
Audrina just makes me mad. The rest are boring.
Recaps are hilarious, but this show is driving me up the wall.
Thank you, that is all.
8 of 10 | Posted by georgiababe | Posted on November 7, 2008 5:56 PM
Ya know what I would love to see? With Audrina acting like such an effin loser and pissing me off the way she is: JustinBobby just being brutally honest.
If he came out and told her "Listen fun bags, I think you're a hot chick who gives decent head and I like this pseudo celebrity I get from hanging with you and 'the crew'. It's just that I'm not going to be exclusive with you...EVER. As in in forEVER...EVER. So, I'm gonna keep coming around when the cameras are here and we're gonna have sex when I want to. MmmmK? Great."
Put in that position this dumb constipated-looking girl would just nod and say "But you'll come, right?"
Faced with complete honest douchness the outcome hardly changes for chicks like these. So sad. They think they're fooling people around them. It's almost like drug addicts who want to convince loved ones that they can stop whenever they want.
9 of 10 | Posted by uglycutie | Posted on November 8, 2008 10:31 AM
Some questions come to mind...
Ummm, when buying a house, aren't you expected to be in escrow for a 30 day minimum? If so, then why did Audrina wait so long to notify Lauren that she was moving out?
If Heidi really worked for Bolthouse, then why wouldn't we have more paparazzi photos of her during these events? Maybe there are photos of her, but I just don't read the magazines.
10 of 10 | Posted by dani2526 | Posted on November 9, 2008 3:43 PM