TVgasm Recaps

For me the summer television season will always be about the wonderful world of Julie Chen and Big Brother. That being said, there are plenty of other options to enjoy. In particular I have to give thanks to the Oxygen network. And yes, I like those reruns of Mad About You and AbFab just as much as the next guy, but I wouldn't face public ridicule by admitting I regularly watch the network committed to bringing edgy and innovative entertainment to women for some simple syndicated programming.

No, I am talking about The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, the reality series that follows, you guessed it, Janice Dickinson as she tries to make a living running her own, ummm, modeling agency. I have resisted writing about it because I was afraid I wouldn't have enough time to give it the attention it deserves, but a few persistent readers have persuaded me that I need to make the sacrifice, and Umnata says he's here to help. The show has been going on for several weeks already, so let me take this chance to catch up. Luckily, Oxygen is saturating the airwaves with the show from now until Wednesday, so you'll have many chances to catch up as well.

So I've been trying to get this recap up for a few weeks because I firmly believe that one dose of Janice a week is simply not enough. As a matter of fact, two isn't really enough either, but I fear that three might be akin to giving a diabetic a powdered donut - DEADLY. Regardless, here I am, recapping not one but two episodes of Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, which to those of you who aren't in the know, stars the world's self-proclaimed first supermodel and former America's Next Top Model judge, Janice Dickinson. She's starring in a reality show about trying to launch her own modeling agency and about being crazy and fabulous. Apparently, it's not an easy task. These last two weeks, Janice has booked her models first jobs: A foot modeling gig for the ladies and an underwear modeling gig for the guys (I have to keep reminding myself that this show is on the Oxygen network, and thus, I can see why the guys are modeling underwear, and sadly, not the ladies). Janice has taken on a partner to help her run the agency, and she has to deal with her kids and her own wackiness constantly leaving us with the question: WHAT WILL JANICE DO NEXT!?!?

So what has Janice Dick gotten her models into this week? Well, I guess any day when Janice is twisting off the head of a kitten is a good day at the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency - so everyone can breathe a sigh of relief. Or of boredom. When Janice's crazy-osity levels are low I find myself bored. As much as I cringe for poor, sweet Nate (Janice's put-upon marble-mouthed teenage son) when his mother is prancing around a water fountain ruining a couture dress because she was overwhelmed by the La Dolce Vita-ness of it all (La Dolce Vita? Or, maybe, The First Wives Club?), I'm much more entertained than when she is being (by Janice standards) well-behaved. Sadly, despite a Mrs. Benet-type stage mom, a national commercial audition and and eye-patched Janice looking like a slightly less gay Capt. Jack Sparrow, I found this installment of Janice faux-reality exploits a little lackluster. Find out why after the jump.

While the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency seems to be off to a good start, one does wonder just how viable the whole enterprise would be if all of these potential clients weren't getting free publicity from the television show. That being said, she seems to be trying her best to actually run the business. She is constantly looking for new models, and she has signed a business manager who appears to be more into making money than being on TV, so that is a start. While her models have been getting gigs for some clothing lines and for commercials, Janice wants her models doing high fashion. 1-800-DENTIST might pay the bills, but the Da Vinci smile isn't going to get anybody on the cover of French Vogue. This week, Janice's models got a small taste of the runway for a Virgin Megastore fashion show, but first they were going to have to learn how to walk.

I still think that the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency is a pretty good show, but unfortunately, I don't think that the producers quite know what they want to do with it. Considering that it is now at least half way through its first season, some would consider this a problem. The problem is that the show has Janice's name on it, and Janice is the reason that most people start watching the show. While Janice is a great personality, I would have to say that she has not yet proven that she can carry her own show. Janice will rant, Janice will rave, and doesn't seem to know what she wants to do with her models from one week to the next. Those models, who are mostly no-names, are much more interesting than her. Too bad we hardly see them.

It is sometimes difficult to figure out where the reality begins and the producing ends on The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, but it is kind of fun to see Janice go through her evolution as a businesswoman. She had high hopes that her agency would have the covers of French Vogue, Elle, etc, but the reality of having to pay the bills means that she has to suck up to some clients that lack the prestige of a Ralph Lauren or Calvin Klein. Hey, in the modeling industry, work is work, but would Janice have started the agency if she knew she had to kiss the ass of the likes of 1-800-DENTIST? I don't think so. The finale is tomorrow but we have a lot of drama to catch up with before we get to that.