Well, friends, we made it. I can't believe it myself. I'm still in shock that The Mole was actually revived in the first place. It was like Christmas, but in the summer, and instead of annoying songs and creepy Santas, we got anthropomorphic citrus and the irrepressible SmugJon.

Posted by Screampiller at 10:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

You know what's great about the Olympics? You can pick it right up and become an immediate fan, without knowing anything about the sport, and that's okay. Whereas with other sports (cough, baseball), we've got terms like "bandwagon fan", and then the inevitable scoffing abounds. I don't know a damn thing about swimming, but I just could not stop yelling in joy at my television last night - and I feel okay about that. I don't feel like some dude is going to come pelt my house with eggs because he was a fan of Michael Phelps ever since he started swimming as a sperm cell.

Okay, rant over. I will have to put my Olympic-fever-addled brain on hold tonight for an hour, because we all know what's finally here, at long last: The Mole finale! Let's recap the events of last week, shall we?

Posted by Screampiller at 9:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Hello again, folks. Again, apologies for the lateness, but now I am back from vacation and promise all sorts of up-to-the-minute Mole-y goodness. You don't want to miss out on a single second of my completely off-base, totally wrong commentary.

Posted by Screampiller at 8:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)

Hey kids! Apologies for the lateness of this recap, I am on vacation and internets are sparse. Or a seagull stole my computer. Something like that. I don't remember, I'm too drunk. Anyway, on to The Mole!

Posted by Screampiller at 5:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Everyone enjoy your week-long vacation from The Mole? I sure did. That was the most productive week I've ever had. But eventually I came to miss the smug tones of Jon Kelly, the hideous visage of a gasping Craig, the frantic, tortured ramblings of our beloved Mark. Back at it, you crazy kids!

Posted by Screampiller at 11:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (14)

This weekend I saw two grown men (sort of) down entire shot glasses full of M&Ms, followed by a solid five minutes of regretful chewing. It was awesome. And it was at a wedding.

Clearly, you can see how this relates to The Mole. This week, we learned that people can pretty much argue about anything for extended lengths of time, and that for some reason this will be considered entertainment. So apologies if this week's recap seems a little short. There's only so much comedy you can squeeze out of a bunch of people standing around and discussing shit for twenty minutes.

Posted by Screampiller at 8:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)

I have come to a frightening realization: I may not be qualified to be an expert on The Mole.

See, I got engaged this weekend. I tell you this not to brag or boast or demand gifts (suggested donation $50), but to instead state that I had NO idea it was coming. I mean, I knew that at some point it probably would happen, but I was so completely blind to any and all clues or hints - some of which, upon further reflection, were really obvious. I'm no longer confident in my powers of observation. My detailed, studious notes are worthless, my confidence is shattered, my...

Oh God, Anderson, don't look at me like that! I'll do better, I promise. It's all for you, all for you!

Posted by Screampiller at 9:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (12)

This weekend, a little boy came up to me on the subway and reenacted the entire Incredible Hulk trailer, word for word. He then said that he can't wait for July 13th to see that movie. When I pointed out that it was already July 14th, he freaked out. Then he showed me some yo-yo tricks. He was really cool.

So I stole him. What are you going to do about it, authorities??

I tied him to a chair and we watched The Mole together. If that's not true kidnapper-parental love, I don't know what is.

Posted by Screampiller at 8:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

This week on The Mole, we learned that the ability to squeeze as many idioms pertaining to the word "pig" into a one hour show is really an acquired talent. Those producers must have been up all night with their phrase dictionaries. "Guys!" one would yell, giddy with Red Bull at three in the morning, "Bring home the BACON! Because bacon is made from a PIG!" "YES!" the others would scream, high fiving all over the room, "It's GENIUS! Let's prepare our Emmy speeches!"

Oh, I kid because I love. Remember, Anderson Cooper was able to pull off all of this good fun with a straight face and a knowing smirk. And that's why he is where he is today.

Posted by Screampiller at 7:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)

Greetings, fellow lovers of The Mole! Are you ready for some AWESOME MOLE ACTION?! MOLE!!! AHH!

Let me explain. I LOVE The Mole. I'm not sure there is a bigger fan on the planet of this show than me. It is my favorite reality game show of all time. I've seen every season, developed an unhealthy obsession with Anderson Cooper, and even tried to run my own Mole game with my friends (which had to end early due to some unforeseen circumstances, but was still fun while it lasted) (And yeah, I'm a nerd, what of it?). I cannot convey through words or interpretive dancing or even shadow puppetry how much I adore this show. Even the celebrity versions, which, while not quite as intriguing as the others, were still awesome. Why? Because the GAME is awesome. The game is solid. The game is sound. When it went off the air I cried for days, and when I heard it was coming back I cried for weeks. I suppose I should seek medical attention.

Posted by Screampiller at 8:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (12)