The group is to break up into two teams: Ham It Up (groan), and Bring Home the Bacon (GROAN). Ham It Up is to go into the village, find the pigs (worth $1,000 each), bring them back, and load them into a slingshot, thereby making pigs fly (AHHH), while the Bring Home The Bacon team (Paul and Liz) is to catch said pigs in a blanket (MAKE IT STOP). He leaves one pig on the table to get them started - $1,000 already in the pot - and notes that there is one more exemption in play during this challenge. Which, as we Mole pros already know, means it's sitting right there inside that pig. Their timekeepers for this challenge will be the potter and her son, who will be making twelve ceramic pigs, which should take about an hour. Aw. I want a random Chilean woman to make me pigs on demand. "Make the tail curlier!" I'd scream at her.
The teams take off into the village, three teams of three. Somehow Bobby and Craig ended up on the same team and immediately falls behind. Craig suggests that Bobby, yet again unable to run, climb into the wheelbarrow and get pushed by Kristen. Which he does. Wow. Just, wow. The others, who have actually managed to reach the village, are now having trouble with the language barrier. But Alex speaks fluent Spanish, and is able to get a ton of pigs. They start raking them in. Meanwhile, some cameraman whose hand I'd like to firmly shake gets a hilarious shot of Kristen pushing Bobby across the screen in the wheelbarrow, then a pause of about five seconds, then Craig chugging along behind them. Genius.
You do realize that this is going to be nationally televised, right Bobby?
Team Useless finally gets to a shop and starts pawing through the guy's wares. He tries to tell them, in Spanish, that someone already came and took the pig, to which Bobby responds, "My name is Robert." HA. They run into Alex's Superteam, and Bobby makes the surprisingly good suggestion that his team takes the others' pigs and bring them back to the arena, while Alex stays and finds some more. Alex refuses and presses on, which is a rather Moley thing to do, but on the other hand is maybe just a wise choice, because trusting any of these yahoos to competently accomplish a simple task would be a huge mistake. Bobby complains in interview that Alex just wanted to show off: "Okay, we get it, you speak Spanish. But you suck at life." Cut immediately to Bobby taking the term "astronomical failure" to a whole new level by uselessly jaunting around in his wheelbarrow. Editors, I tip my hat to you.
Bobby suddenly dewheelbarrows, apparently due to a debilitating, pants-clutching case of diarrhea:
Shouldn't have had that third enchilada.
While the pig teams get lost (come ON, people), Paul contemplates the lone pig, which has something rattling around inside. Liz, once again completely clueless, says that maybe it's a coin for good luck. Oh, grandma. You're so stupid. Paul summons up his one useful brain cell and smashes the pig, which of course has the exemption inside.
Ah, the Asshole Of The Year Award comes in the form of a Chuck E. Cheese token this year. Convenient.
Alex's team returns with an abundance of pigs, while Adorable Potter Woman works on her eighth pig. Hot damn, she's efficient. I wonder how she feels about the fact that several hours worth of her work is about to be smashed all over the place for no reason. No matter! Alex loads the slingshot and immediately begins failing all over the place. No pigs are caught. Craig, Kristen, and Gimpy Bobby arrive. Upon witnessing the travesty that this challenge has become, Craig wrassles the lead away from Alex and shows them all how to properly use the slingshot, and the money starts racking up. "I never thought that being able to use a three-person water balloon slingshot would be able to win me money, but all those years in summer camp really paid off," Craig says. Haha, I like Craig. He's probably the Mole.
Adorable Potter finishes the twelfth and final pig, while the team finishes launching theirs. Smugatron gives the results: Team 1 brought back 26, Team 2 brought back 18, and Team Useless brought back zero. Paul says that it is disgusting that a "so-called man" had to be pushed around by a woman in a wheelbarrow. Because women are supposed to be in the kitchen, dammit! Where the hell is my chicken paaahhhm?
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Comments (8)
Great Recap and isn't nice of them to provide you with all that material? What a bunch of maroons!! I cannot stand Dr. Winer. Watch Bobby turn out to be the mole, he certainly does his share of slowing everybody down. I don't think he is, but how funny would that be. I can't imagine that he can be that frail and still be on the show. You would think they'd have to pass physicals before they let them do these crazy challenges. He's a lawsuit waiting to happen. Right now I'm thinking that it the blonde girl (can't remember her name), the one who rode the tandem bike with the teacher. But I am sure I'll be flip flopping back and forth all season.
1 of 8 | Posted by featherhead | Posted on June 12, 2008 9:40 AM
Yeah, um, Bobby has an eating disorder. A serious one. You don't pass a physical with any other condition that causes you to be that frail and void of energy.
2 of 8 | Posted by EZ Rider | Posted on June 12, 2008 10:18 AM
I am loving this season already!! I never thought I would ever laugh as hard as I did at the whole wheelbarrow/Bobby catastrophe, that is until this recap - BRAVO! I think you picked up all my favorite high points. The footage of Bobby in the wheelbarrow followed by Craig running behind was priceless!!! However, I don't mind the host - he has some big shoes to fill and I think we should give him a chance. I just bought Celebrity Mole in Hawaii on DVD for my husband's brithday - I could watch that a million times - it is soooo good. LOVE THE MOLE!!!
3 of 8 | Posted by eellsinoc | Posted on June 12, 2008 10:44 AM
Great recap (as per usual) but the retail comment and argument with Bobby in the hotel was Victoria (she of the Moe from 3 stooges bowl cut up front and the long silk look from the back) not Nicole. I think the Mole has got to be Bobby or Craig because they are both idiots and would never pass the test. I think the two of them should do a remake of "Of Mice and Men" I actually like the host. I admire ANYBODY who can talk to that merry band of wasted sperm without having fits of laughter. They are seriously more like a bunch of Big Brother contestants
4 of 8 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on June 12, 2008 10:57 AM
"They are seriously more like a bunch of Big Brother contestants"
couldn't have possibly phrased that better.
and im convinced the mole is victoria.
5 of 8 | Posted by intense | Posted on June 12, 2008 1:33 PM
I thought the end was so stupid, yet hilarious at the same time. "I can do it without leaving forensic evidence."
Yeah...like they need forensic evidence when you just said you would kill him on national TV.
6 of 8 | Posted by Bloodbath | Posted on June 12, 2008 3:38 PM
I think Nicole claiming to be a doctor is an act. She's too ghetto to be a doctor. Doctor's don't threaten to kill people.
I liked it when Craig was talking about his balls. I hope he uses the word "nuts" next time.
Aren't Anderson Cooper and the new host both in the "CLOSET?"
7 of 8 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on June 13, 2008 1:25 PM
"I think Nicole claiming to be a doctor is an act. She's too ghetto to be a doctor. Doctor's don't threaten to kill people."
Nicole is defiantly a doctor and I loved when she made that statement. The guy is annoying and always talking sh*t about her. I cant put the link in the reply, but wiki has a link.
"Nicole Williams, M.D.
Attended undergrad at the University of Illinois and obtained degrees in Bochemistry & English Literature. She went on to study medicine at Loyola University. She interned at Wayne State University in Detroit and completed her residency at St. Joseph's Hospital in Chicago. While a resident she presented a poster at the ACGME conference entitled "Building a Failure Mode and Effects Analysis in Labor and Delivery". She sits on the International Committee of American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology. Her interests include: Dysfunctional Uterine bleeding, Sexual Dysfunction and International Medicine."
"and im convinced the mole is victoria."
I am pretty sure the Mole is Craig.
First episode:
#11 on the journal put that number in our heads so we would get this right
E_E_E_
11th person in intro was Craig. After going over the waterfall Craig said: "the rope just goes taut and chokes me like a hanged man.
E_E_E_ = hangman
mobile clue:
NIC @ IT = NICATIT = TITANIC
On the boat on the way to the island for scavenger game, Craig is in the very front of the boat with his arms stretched out like in the movie Titanic.
During the scavenger hunt game, the host mentioned that Robinson Crusoe was based on Alexander Selkirk. If you google that name you will find that his name at birth was Alexander Selcraig. Pretty big coincidence there.
And don't forget who brought over the big sign that said someone was going home that night. Craig.
Episode 2:
Everyone was on Bobby for being in the wheelbarrow (where he never should have been at all) but it was Craig that suggested it. In his confessional thing Craig says: I noticed Bobby limping so I told him to get in the wheelbarrow.
The mole would do this to slow the team down so that only 2 teams were looking for pigs. I have yet to figure out why he helped when they got back and took over for Victoria, unless it was to ease a little suspicion from himself or maybe he figured they needed SOMETHING in the pot or people would start giving up. IDK
At all other times in both episodes, Craig has been wearing his glasses, but he did not have them when they arrived for the pig challenge and did not have them the entire time. He did have them back on later though. Maybe they are just clear lenses and doesn't really need them? This could be lying with his eyes.
I haven't went through the second episode good enough yet to have any ideas about the new clues but hopefully I will be back to post something.
In the first episode intro Craig is the only one without any type of graphics(the circly things) next to his name or hometown. The text doesn't change either. Plus he's a graphic artist. Now the episode 2's intro DOES have the circles and animation on his intro, it all but proves they knew it was different from the rest and purposely made it that way.
8 of 8 | Posted by asmaj | Posted on June 13, 2008 3:03 PM