I have come to a frightening realization: I may not be qualified to be an expert on The Mole.
See, I got engaged this weekend. I tell you this not to brag or boast or demand gifts (suggested donation $50), but to instead state that I had NO idea it was coming. I mean, I knew that at some point it probably would happen, but I was so completely blind to any and all clues or hints - some of which, upon further reflection, were really obvious. I'm no longer confident in my powers of observation. My detailed, studious notes are worthless, my confidence is shattered, my...
Oh God, Anderson, don't look at me like that! I'll do better, I promise. It's all for you, all for you!
Uh, anyway, the group has left Santiago, City of Nudity, and is now smack dab in the middle of the Andes mountains in Argentina. The camera swoops through the valleys like this is a friggin' IMAX film, while the players speculate on what they're going to be asked to do. Paul, decidedly taking a little side trip out of the Land of Sanity, introduces us to the new Mole mascot: Lemonhead. Or rather, a lemon with a frowny face drawn on. Something tells me this isn't the first anthropomorphic fruit Paul has befriended.
"GET ME OUT OF THIS HELLHOLE."
SmugJon (who, I must begrudgingly admit, is finally growing on me), introduces the players to the Andes and gives a nice, terrifying description on how gigantic and high and freezing they are. He decrees that they break up into two teams of four: a selfish team (Nicole, Clay, Victoria, and Kristen), and a selfless team (Craig, Paul, Mark, and Alex). With a grand flourish, Jon reveals a pile of "gold bricks" that look as if they've been stolen straight from the set of Legends of the Hidden Temple.
God bless you Kirk Fogg, wherever you are.
Jon gives a little background on how the Incas used to carry these bricks through the valley (remember this, Olmec will quiz you later), and says that the players are now going to do the same thing. Each brick weighs five pounds, and for every one they get to the top of the mountain, they'll get $250 added to the pot. The team members must arrive at the same time, and they only have 50 minutes to do it. Plus, there is an exemption available for the first team to arrive. For the last team to arrive? A stern look of approval from Phil Keoghan and an Argentinian llama.
The challenge begins and the teams run over to the bricks. Unsurprisingly, the selfish team takes only a few each (except for Kristen, who takes eight) in order to get to the top faster and get the exemption. Team Unselfish, powered by the fury of Lemonhead, piles them into their bags and end up taking a full load. The teams set out, and a montage of gasping and painful climbing begins.
Nicole, whose idiotic strategy is by now obvious to EVERYONE, falls behind within steps of the starting line and says she can't do it. I can't believe other people are falling for this woman's shit. Craig, meanwhile, is actively dying.
Smugalicious meets the teams halfway up the mountain, lounging with his feet up, as per usual. I feel like this guy should have a mojito in hand at all times.
"BRING ME MY PEELED GRAPES!"
He informs the teams that they are to also take a scale up with them. The selfish team arrives first, and they get to choose either a ten-pound scale or a twenty-pound scale, but they'll have to do it by sight, without picking them up. They choose the ten-pound one. A little while later, the other team arrives, only to be told that they're stuck with the heavy one. Mark, furiously enraged for no reason as always, drops four of his bricks and grabs the scale, muttering death threats at Kristen all the way up. Oh, Mark. You're such a ray of sunshine.
But Mark's anger gives way to goopy camaraderie, as the selfless team vows to make it up the mountain all together, as a team. Awwww. Losers. Although Mark gives us the best line of the night: "If anyone's being selfish now, they're an asshat." Woohoo asshat! Way to borrow one of my favorite words, dude. You now have my approval, and blessing. Craig, on the other hand, isn't doing too good. He's dizzy, out of breath, and appears to be fuzzy and moving in slow motion. Oh wait, that's an unnecessary camera effect used to create drama as we go out to commercial break. But still, probably not good for the old ticker either.
« So You Think You Can Dance: Smile Like You Mean It | | So You Think You Can Dance: My Name is Tino Munez...You Killed My Chances... »
Comments (12)
Congrats on the rock Scream - this is my first Mole season - and it's your fault I'm hooked! Thank's for the great recaps!
1 of 12 | Posted by msmooshka | Posted on June 25, 2008 10:45 AM
isn't there anything more excruciatingly more painfull to poison Nicole with? (p.s. this is the question that got me to register :) )
2 of 12 | Posted by lunababi | Posted on June 25, 2008 10:47 AM
I'm glad SmugJon is growing on you!
I agree with Lunababi, Nicole deserves to die in a very painful way. She's one of the most annoying people I've ever been forced to watch on TV. Your line about her being an Omarosa Wanna-Be made me laugh so loud my boss looked at me funny.
I'm not sure Mark isn't the Mole, but I agree Clay, Alex and Kristen are up there on the list. I can't see it being Paul or Craig, and please not Nicole in any way, shape, or form!
Congrats on your engagement! :)
3 of 12 | Posted by lonebutterfly | Posted on June 25, 2008 11:12 AM
Loved the Legends of the Hidden Temple reference =)
Clay is still at the top of my suspect list, but Mark is starting to look more moley.
Am I the only one thinking that they may have copied their journals and will be getting them back? I remember the first episode of the second season, where some challenge had the players thinking they had all their stuff burned - but in reality they got their stuff back unharmed. You don't really know how long SmugJon was away, so its possible.
4 of 12 | Posted by BlackieChuu | Posted on June 25, 2008 12:54 PM
I, too, am leaning towards Mark being the Mole. If so, he is a great actor.....last night wasn't the first time he squeezed out some tears. Remember in one of his first interviews...crying because he wanted to win so his wife wouldn't have to work anymore?
Everytime Nicole came onscreen, I said to my kids "I hate her." They concurred. You're right, she IS an Omarosa wanna-be. Ew!
Great recap!
5 of 12 | Posted by KikiC | Posted on June 25, 2008 2:42 PM
Good thing I'm not in a pool in this game, Victoria was at the top of my list.
6 of 12 | Posted by EZ Rider | Posted on June 25, 2008 4:03 PM
Is it just me? Still trying to like this season. I feel it is so yaaawwnnn! The challenges are so mundane and lack the flair of past seasons. I'm bored by the end of each episode. I read the boards and everybody is into it. I guess I've just outgrown the show. Or expected it to grow on me eventually, with the changes.
Why God Why? I just dont find it interesting?
7 of 12 | Posted by mangopepper | Posted on June 25, 2008 10:22 PM
for MANGOPEPPER:
You might think about turning off the TV. There are other things to do in life besides watching TV shows that you don't like. Have you ever considered reading a book?
For Screampillar:
Did you get engaged to a man or a woman? I only ask because you have this man crush on Anderson Cooper and now that gays can get married in California....
Congrats regardless. Best wishes to you and the wife (or husband).
8 of 12 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on June 26, 2008 8:48 AM
I am pretty sure the Mole is Craig.
First episode:
#11 on the journal put that number in our heads so we would get this right
E_E_E_
11th person in intro was Craig. After going over the waterfall Craig said: "the rope just goes taut and chokes me like a hanged man.
E_E_E_ = hangman
mobile clue:
NIC @ IT = NICATIT = TITANIC
On the boat on the way to the island for scavenger game, Craig is in the very front of the boat with his arms stretched out like in the movie Titanic.
During the scavenger hunt game, the host mentioned that Robinson Crusoe was based on Alexander Selkirk. If you google that name you will find that his name at birth was Alexander Selcraig. Pretty big coincidence there.
And don't forget who brought over the big sign that said someone was going home that night. Craig.
Episode 2:
Everyone was on Bobby for being in the wheelbarrow (where he never should have been at all) but it was Craig that suggested it. In his confessional thing Craig says: I noticed Bobby limping so I told him to get in the wheelbarrow.
The mole would do this to slow the team down so that only 2 teams were looking for pigs. I have yet to figure out why he helped when they got back and took over for Victoria, unless it was to ease a little suspicion from himself or maybe he figured they needed SOMETHING in the pot or people would start giving up. IDK
At all other times in both episodes, Craig has been wearing his glasses, but he did not have them when they arrived for the pig challenge and did not have them the entire time. He did have them back on later though. Maybe they are just clear lenses and doesn't really need them? This could be lying with his eyes.
I haven't went through the second episode good enough yet to have any ideas about the new clues but hopefully I will be back to post something.
In the first episode intro Craig is the only one without any type of graphics(the circly things) next to his name or hometown. The text doesn't change either. Plus he's a graphic artist. Now the episode 2's intro DOES have the circles and animation on his intro, it all but proves they knew it was different from the rest and purposely made it that way.
Episode 4
Text clue:
cf(11)8 = See if 11 ate.
Craig didn't eat... and he is linked to "11"
9 of 12 | Posted by asmaj | Posted on June 26, 2008 10:06 AM
Do you think that this mole's scrapbook/journal is meant to contain clues for us because if so it certainly eliminates several players(as sailorswife was saying)?
for example:
1)"Those kids really ran us all over the field..." Eliminates: Mark, Kristen
"Being blindfolded while flying 40 mph..." Eliminates: Nicole, Mark, and Craig. (Bobby and Ali were also blindfolded.
This Leaves Victoria, Clay, Paul, and Alex (who is supposedly going home this week). I really don’t like this... but Clay was in my top three anyways as well as Victoria. It seems like to much information for then to give us straight out!
hmmmmmmmmmm
10 of 12 | Posted by asmaj | Posted on June 26, 2008 10:07 AM
asmaj,
I think you are way overanalyzing things. I would be really surprised if Craig was the mole. Perhaps you are right, but what if they are giving you all those clues to make it look like Craig, when in actuality it is someone else similar to him? Ever heard of the element of surprise? I don't think they would make it as obvious as you seem to think.
11 of 12 | Posted by JustJesse | Posted on June 26, 2008 1:54 PM
hey weasel I am pretty sure scream is a woman..just never heard a guy being surprised about a proposal before..Congrats Scream.. Have to say though Weasal it did make me smile at the irony that you could not from Screampillar's writing figure out she is a woman, and you are watching a show trying to guess who the Mole is.. ;)
Enjoyed the recaps Scream I just started watching this season because of you.. and I don't know they guys name with the NY accent, lemonhead guy, but I betcha he is the mole.. just my guess..
(scream wrote great recaps for my favorite show last season"Friday Night Lights" and now I will watch any show you think worthy of viewing. FNL sidenote new 3rd season on DirectTv ch. 101 only starting in October, than the series repeats and airs for the first time on NBC Fridays nights after the superbowl in January)
anyway love your writing Scream and congrats on the upcoming marriage..!!
12 of 12 | Posted by User Name | Posted on June 27, 2008 7:09 PM