This weekend I saw two grown men (sort of) down entire shot glasses full of M&Ms, followed by a solid five minutes of regretful chewing. It was awesome. And it was at a wedding.
Clearly, you can see how this relates to The Mole. This week, we learned that people can pretty much argue about anything for extended lengths of time, and that for some reason this will be considered entertainment. So apologies if this week's recap seems a little short. There's only so much comedy you can squeeze out of a bunch of people standing around and discussing shit for twenty minutes.
Jon welcomes the teams to a train station somewhere in the middle of Argentina. He smarmily explains that this place was used as a holding station for prisoners who were being transported. The players suddenly get all scandalized, as if learning random bits of historical trivia is something that they've never experienced before.
"Oh my God, it's just like Oregon Trail!"
Jon explains that trust will be a key element in the next challenge, and then uses his MAGICAL WIZARD POWERS to instantly turn the day into night. That's odd. Next thing we know, the players legs are all chained up to the steel bars behind them, the sun is long gone, and it's really cold out. This mission is called "All For One," and I immediately get really excited because I see jail cells and I think back to season two, when the players were all locked up and had to figure out how to get the key by using only the random knickknacks in their cells. Alas, this mission is not like that at all, and is also exceedingly boring.
Well, that's not true. The concept is cool, but it really boils down to a lot of inaction. Basically, the players are chained in such a way that only one person will be able to reach the cell across the room, which contains the key to set them free. One by one, the players will decide who gets the key, and once the chosen one unlocks him/herself, they can run off into the night and find Jon, who will be waiting with a crackling, warm fire, a nice meal, a comfy bed, and a little something extra if they play their cards right. If all players free themselves by sunrise, they get $25,000 added to the pot. The only catch is that there is an exemption sitting right next to the key, and if anyone decides to take it, the leftover players will have to sleep there overnight in the cold, and no money is added to the pot.
Got all that? Good, because I'm not repeating it. The little key door opens every ten minutes, so the players have plenty of powwow time to discuss their options. And discuss they do. At length. Every single decision is broken down with pie-chart levels of scrutiny. It's tedious and wearisome, not unlike any given episode from season two of Heroes. (There! I said it!)
Here's how it all goes down: Craig claims that he's still sick from the health crisis of last week, so everyone more or less agrees to let him go first. He takes the key, and leaves. Then they all complain a lot and make a lot of random accusations. Clay pulls out his sleeping bag, while Kristen reminds him of the deal he made with her last week when he took the exemption, that he would do her a solid in the future. More whining. Eventually they decide on Kristen, who takes the key.
Ugh. See, I like this mission, but it doesn't really make for good television. Better for a Board Game Night or something. The strategies and trust issues are interesting, and a certain amount of suspense surrounds each key/exemption choice, but the debating in between is painful.
I will press on nonetheless. They agree on Paul, who swears on his daughter's life that he won't take the exemption, and after a lame commercial break fake-out, he doesn't. He does, however, make a series of ridiculous retard faces. As per usual.
"Anyone ordah a pizzah pie?"
« The Bachelorette: The Graham-less Fantasy | | Shear Genius: Exit Interview - ...Oshun's Fifteen (are thankfully up)... »
Comments (8)
I was pretty unhappy with this week's episode, it was just so darn boring... Even SmugJon didn't liven it up for me.
I have to agree with your Alex assessment, he would be a good mole, though I think it's sad that he basically is going to "win" without even trying if he is the Mole. This group is so stupid, they are losing without any help.
I'm iffy about Mark, I agree that the stress is likely getting to him over some of the others. Not that everyone doesn't have a "reason" to win, but his seemed pretty heartfelt (wanting to win so his wife would only have to work 1 job and be with their kids). I kinda hope he is the Mole, just so he goes home with something. I felt so bad when they burned his journal! (I think that's my Mummy-side coming out.)
If I had to choose a fruit as my lifelong companion, I would like tomatoes. Maybe one large tomato and host of baby tomatoes!
1 of 8 | Posted by LoneButterfly | Posted on July 3, 2008 11:10 AM
My fruity companion would be a kiwi because I like to rub fuzzy stuff. (*random thought* I wonder how that sounds when other people read it) Also, I think Cap'em Chlosterol is the Mole
2 of 8 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on July 3, 2008 11:43 AM
Just started reading, but had to post about Jon and his "MAGICAL WIZARD POWERS to instantly turn the day into night."
That bugged the hell out of me!
3 of 8 | Posted by sweetleaf | Posted on July 3, 2008 12:25 PM
On one hand, Alex is the only one who suited up for the TRAVELERS mission.
On the other hand, Alex has A LOT OF MOLES ON HIS FACE.
According to TV W/O PITY, PAUL FREE was sung to CHER'S "HALF BREED."
Still lovin' my big fat Craig. Since Kristen's gone I'm thinking it's Mark or Clay.
4 of 8 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on July 3, 2008 12:33 PM
The Mole is totally Clay.
1. He opted out at the naked clothing hunt straight off.
2. He picked a fight with Paul out of the blue just to stir things up.
3. When they were chained together he was the rebelrouser who wanted to stir things up even when he was cool with Kristen taking it anyway (who unrolled his sleeping bag first?)
4. He talked people into giving him the exemption the week prior out of nowhere. Even though there was every reason to give it to Kristen.
5. He likes to sit back and observe, except to cause a ruckus on rare occasion.
6. Pay attention to his interview speeches. They're VERY moley. He doesn't act worried or say anything that would convince me is anything but the Mole. He's not super emotional.
He's playing the whole game for subtle sabotage as if someone else is telling him when to do things.
5 of 8 | Posted by WoollyKatie | Posted on July 3, 2008 2:26 PM
Great recap as usual, Scream!
I agree this episode was kinda slow, but I found out something very entertaining to me: Clay has SWAGGER! Never knew he had it in him..
Anyway, I still think its either Craig or Clay - Mark is obsessed with the money, and Paul is a moron, just like Clay said. The obgyn lady wants people to think she is, but she'll be gone next week - watch.
6 of 8 | Posted by lexxi1129 | Posted on July 3, 2008 3:52 PM
I lost interest in this show when I realized it wasn't about skin anomolies (about the third episode of season one).
Even without watching, it is still (maybe MORE) worth reading Screampillar's bodaceous recaps (bodaceous?? Did I just out my age??).
Thanks, S-P!
7 of 8 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on July 4, 2008 8:53 AM
It's totally Clay...
Episode one, they held up Journal 11 and that was the number on his soccer jersey.
I almost hope it isn't Clay, just to make it more interesting.
8 of 8 | Posted by redhaiku | Posted on July 6, 2008 3:34 PM