At this point, Clay, Alex, and Nicole mostly suspect Mark as being the one who would most likely take the exemption. But they're wary of each other as well, and no one really wants to go. Clay wants to stick around because he doesn't want to left the rest of those idiots to battle it out amongst themselves, but eventually he caves and is the next person to leave. Mark, still out of his mind with anger over the whole journal fiasco, doesn't trust anyone and is grilling both Nicole and Alex over whether he can trust them or not, but eventually lets them both go - first Nicole, then Alex.
Meanwhile, back at the Harmony Hut, Jon and the other players are having a delicious meal and getting insanely hammered (probably). Most of them believe that Mark, the only one left, is going to take the exemption because he has had some sort of an epiphany and will now do anything in this new frantic, deranged, journal-less state.
Come on, Mark. Take some of that sweet, sweet E.
Eventually Mark arrives at the dinner table and everyone demands to know what he decided. But he gets all squirrelly and wants to know what they've been saying about him. Hmm. Mark may or may not be a teenage girl. Paul thinks he left the exemption, while Clay thinks he took it. "I do have something green in my pocket," Mark sneers. I'm hoping it's something completely random, like a cucumber. That would really confuse the hell out of everyone. Instead, with a flourish, Mark throws a package of mints onto the table, and the minions rejoice.
The mint smelled round the world.
Jon adds the money to the pot, then miraculously procures a fresh batch of new journals for everyone. The minions rejoice yet again. All except for Mark, who no longer cares about the accursed journals: "It's like if you lose your wedding ring. You can't replace it." Which is why Mark's been running around for years with a totally naked finger. Come and get him, ladies!
Oh, I kid. Who can stay mad at this face?
"I dwopped my ice cweam."
So the next day, the team is off, driving through the Andes to the town of Mendoza. (And every time this is mentioned, all I can think of is the villain in the McBain movie on Simpsons, so in my mind it is always pronounced "Mendooooza" in a heavy German accent. *The More You Know*) And since we haven't had an all-out, balls-to-the-wall smackdown yet, it's time for that to happen. Clay asks Paul about his birthday so he can write it down in his new journal, and Paul starts to get all uppity and difficult, and before you know it, the two are going at it like hyenas. Clay hides behind Jesus, while Paul uses the ever-popular strategy of "You're a lawyer who does nothing but defend criminals! Your whole life is just a hypocrite!" I DEFY you to try and diagram that sentence.
This whole fiasco continues, complete with bleeped obscenities, until Craig decides to abandon them for the Van of Peace, Sunshine, and Rainbows. The fight escalates until it ends as all good fights do, with projectile fruit. Clay chucks Paul's only friend, Mr. Lemonhead, right at his head, and Paul of course goes ballistic. My favorite part of this whole thing is the way that Clay calmly describes the events in interview, placidly stating that Paul "didn't anticipate an adversary like me." So Clay's a smarmy bastard. Who knew?
Kristen agrees to switch places with Clay, so he jumps on over to the Fun Van, where everyone breaks out into an impromptu theme song that I believe is sung to the tune of the President of the United States of America's "Peaches" and that contains the lyrics: "Driving through the Andes, looking for the mission..." Don't worry - resident musician Alex is heading up the merriment. We've got a professional here.
The next morning at breakfast, Clay and Paul are still shooting eye daggers at each other, but sadly no more fruit. Clay says that as a Christian, it is his job to forgive. I hate people like this. Be a jackass, be a douchebag, fine, but don't turn around and keep revering yourself as a Christian at the same time. Remember the Wheelers from the family edition of Amazing Race? They did the exact same thing. And they were pure evil. Anyway, Jon engages the team in conversation over coffee and dry-looking toast. Craig says that he feels that all of his health problems are exemption-worthy. Yeah, that's not how it works, dude. You escaped with your life and chronically damaged lungs. You "win".
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Comments (8)
I was pretty unhappy with this week's episode, it was just so darn boring... Even SmugJon didn't liven it up for me.
I have to agree with your Alex assessment, he would be a good mole, though I think it's sad that he basically is going to "win" without even trying if he is the Mole. This group is so stupid, they are losing without any help.
I'm iffy about Mark, I agree that the stress is likely getting to him over some of the others. Not that everyone doesn't have a "reason" to win, but his seemed pretty heartfelt (wanting to win so his wife would only have to work 1 job and be with their kids). I kinda hope he is the Mole, just so he goes home with something. I felt so bad when they burned his journal! (I think that's my Mummy-side coming out.)
If I had to choose a fruit as my lifelong companion, I would like tomatoes. Maybe one large tomato and host of baby tomatoes!
1 of 8 | Posted by LoneButterfly | Posted on July 3, 2008 11:10 AM
My fruity companion would be a kiwi because I like to rub fuzzy stuff. (*random thought* I wonder how that sounds when other people read it) Also, I think Cap'em Chlosterol is the Mole
2 of 8 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on July 3, 2008 11:43 AM
Just started reading, but had to post about Jon and his "MAGICAL WIZARD POWERS to instantly turn the day into night."
That bugged the hell out of me!
3 of 8 | Posted by sweetleaf | Posted on July 3, 2008 12:25 PM
On one hand, Alex is the only one who suited up for the TRAVELERS mission.
On the other hand, Alex has A LOT OF MOLES ON HIS FACE.
According to TV W/O PITY, PAUL FREE was sung to CHER'S "HALF BREED."
Still lovin' my big fat Craig. Since Kristen's gone I'm thinking it's Mark or Clay.
4 of 8 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on July 3, 2008 12:33 PM
The Mole is totally Clay.
1. He opted out at the naked clothing hunt straight off.
2. He picked a fight with Paul out of the blue just to stir things up.
3. When they were chained together he was the rebelrouser who wanted to stir things up even when he was cool with Kristen taking it anyway (who unrolled his sleeping bag first?)
4. He talked people into giving him the exemption the week prior out of nowhere. Even though there was every reason to give it to Kristen.
5. He likes to sit back and observe, except to cause a ruckus on rare occasion.
6. Pay attention to his interview speeches. They're VERY moley. He doesn't act worried or say anything that would convince me is anything but the Mole. He's not super emotional.
He's playing the whole game for subtle sabotage as if someone else is telling him when to do things.
5 of 8 | Posted by WoollyKatie | Posted on July 3, 2008 2:26 PM
Great recap as usual, Scream!
I agree this episode was kinda slow, but I found out something very entertaining to me: Clay has SWAGGER! Never knew he had it in him..
Anyway, I still think its either Craig or Clay - Mark is obsessed with the money, and Paul is a moron, just like Clay said. The obgyn lady wants people to think she is, but she'll be gone next week - watch.
6 of 8 | Posted by lexxi1129 | Posted on July 3, 2008 3:52 PM
I lost interest in this show when I realized it wasn't about skin anomolies (about the third episode of season one).
Even without watching, it is still (maybe MORE) worth reading Screampillar's bodaceous recaps (bodaceous?? Did I just out my age??).
Thanks, S-P!
7 of 8 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on July 4, 2008 8:53 AM
It's totally Clay...
Episode one, they held up Journal 11 and that was the number on his soccer jersey.
I almost hope it isn't Clay, just to make it more interesting.
8 of 8 | Posted by redhaiku | Posted on July 6, 2008 3:34 PM