You know what's great about the Olympics? You can pick it right up and become an immediate fan, without knowing anything about the sport, and that's okay. Whereas with other sports (cough, baseball), we've got terms like "bandwagon fan", and then the inevitable scoffing abounds. I don't know a damn thing about swimming, but I just could not stop yelling in joy at my television last night - and I feel okay about that. I don't feel like some dude is going to come pelt my house with eggs because he was a fan of Michael Phelps ever since he started swimming as a sperm cell.
Okay, rant over. I will have to put my Olympic-fever-addled brain on hold tonight for an hour, because we all know what's finally here, at long last: The Mole finale! Let's recap the events of last week, shall we?
We begin in a creepily-lit room. Jon materializes out of the ether and informs the players that this mission is called "Tick, Tock, Boom". Behind him is a window made of bulletproof glass (or as Jon says, "bulletproof glaaaassss"), and it just so happens to be filled with $50,000. The money is wired to a bomb, and the players, using various items in the room, must diffuse that bomb in less than an hour, or all the money will explode. And that's it. Jon wishes them luck, then leaves to return to the Matrix.

"Are you enjoying my leather?"
Okay, let me just say that I LOVE these kinds of challenges. They're my favorite. The classic 'throw people in a room with a handful of random crap, and give them a single objective that will require them to use the random crap in order to succeed". The jail cell mission from Season 2 comes to mind, as well as the mind-blowingly awesome final challenge in Season 1, when the players were locked in separate hotel rooms and had to get each other out using all sorts of Rube Goldbergian ways. Okay, I'm ready for my head to explode. Dazzle me, show!
The players look at the bomb, which has a bunch of different-colored wires sticking out of it, and determine that they must figure out which one to cut. The other things in the room are: a giant clock with a laser attached, a list of world locations with some clocks above them, some letters scattered around the walls of a room, and a big wipe board that has spaces for letters on it. There is also a hidden item, a disembodied Smug Voice tells us, that will be the key to unlocking the puzzle.
Craig (huh, Craig? Really?) finds the hidden item, a time zone map that two players must keep in place while the other cracks the code. They are to add the difference in hours between the location and Greenwich Mean time. Nicole does half, then they switch and Mark does the second half. They get all the numbers, and then...nothing. They can't figure out what to do with them, or how to translate the work they've just done into a message for the board. By this point I am screaming "THE CLOCK, YOU NIMRODS!!", but it of course does no good. And the bomb, meanwhile, continues to simmer.

Who wants some delicious steamed cash?
After the commercial break, Craig (again, really?) points out that maybe the gigantic clock in the middle of the room wasn't just delivered by Ikea for decorative purposes, and the players finally figure out that they are to use the location times to turn the clock, which will point a laser at the letters around the room. Once they start getting a few of the letters, they realize that SmugJon the Mastermind hasn't made it easy for them, as the letters are all out of order and they must figure out the words themselves. I really wish Jon were behind that bulletproof glass, wearing a top hat and cape and maniacally twirling an oversized novelty mustache.
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Comments (4)
Oh, screampiller. What a season it's been. We've laughed, we've cried, we've changed our minds about who the Mole is 8937221249 times...
2 things:
1- SmugJon has really grown on me. I love him!
2- I am leaning towards Nicole as the Mole. I think she's been trying to be clever and play a "reverse psychology" strategy; like, if I make it so obvious that I'm the mole, no one will ever believe I *am* actually the mole! It has a perverse logic to it, no? But if it's Craig, I won't be shocked in the slightest. If Mark is the mole I will eat my flip-flops for breakfast with maple syrup and butter.
1 of 4 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on August 11, 2008 1:41 PM
Screampillar, you don't really think that SmugJon is reading and writing in do you? Even if "he" provides clues, couldn't the writer be many different people in production of the show that are feeding you info.
Craig is definitely the Mole. The other two a whack jobs.
2 of 4 | Posted by bitchristine | Posted on August 11, 2008 5:20 PM
I laughed hysterically that you mentioned the three questions game, I also griped about missing it.
I wanted so badly to like this season, but I feel like we've been a little let down. I loved the jail and hotel missions from past seasons. And this last mission, seemed far scaled down from the second season one that was similar. I mean who can beat Heather almost being attacked by a wild boar. Stood by Craig the whole time, still do now, although I'd love the shock of Mark.
3 of 4 | Posted by bentley1101 | Posted on August 11, 2008 11:59 PM
If you needed an OB/GYN would you go to Nicole? I sure wouldn't. She's nuts. i dont' think she did herself one bit of good. She better change professions. Other than that it was a good season. I hope they bring it back next summer.
4 of 4 | Posted by 1219tracy | Posted on August 13, 2008 10:36 AM