Testimonials

Jon then touches on the thing that I had the biggest problem with: Craig passing out in the Andes Mountains. Craig confirms that this was all real, that he really couldn't breathe and needed medication. AND that the whole time it was happening, the few people on the production team who knew that he was the Mole were really terrified. Yeah, they should be! That's why you don't pick a health risk as the Mole, idiots!

I'm a little bitter.

And now it's time to reveal the hidden clues in each of the episodes. Many of them turned out to be waaay more obscure than any seasons past, which isn't surprising now that we're in the era of Lost fanatics, where average viewers are equipped with all sorts of TiVos and DVRs and other outrageous tools for deciphering the tiniest bits of information. There were a bunch of small words and numbers hidden throughout the opening sequence, as usual. And there were a handful of clues in the episodes, the most obvious of which were Craig physically delivering the Mole's message in the Crusoe mission, and one where Clay was giving an interview and these little "i" sculptures behind them changed between shots from two to four, spelling out "four eyes" ---> Craig is the only player with glasses. Plus, as pointed out by many people, Craig's name was never called in any of the executions.

Oh, and then there's this chestnut:

Commence the collective head-smacking!

Well, that's it. But wait! There's one more surprise! As Jon mentioned this earlier in the evening, I am hoping beyond hope that it will be announced that there will be another season. But nope, Jon tells Mark to stand and that someone is here to see him. Mark, adorable to the very end, quips "I hope it's not an IRS agent." Ha! Seriously, Mark needs his own sitcom. Anyway, the surprise is Mark's wife. He tells her that he won, and that now she can quit her jobs and stay home for the kids. And she's like, meh.

"That's nice, hon. Are tacos okay for dinner?"

Mark closes with a very nice speech about how he is humbled and he was fortunate to play with such a great group of people. Awww. Jon says goodbye and thanks for watching, and throws one last smug glance our way.

"I sculpted this candelabra myself."

Well, that's it! It was a little obvious towards the end, but I'm the first to admit that I definitely did not suspect Craig for a large portion of the show. I did way back at the beginning, then he fell off my radar after the hypothermia incident. So nice job, Craig's weakened lungs. You got me good.

Now devour an entire ham solely for my entertainment!

Thanks for reading, everyone! I hope you enjoyed these recaps as much as I enjoyed ripping SmugJon apart every week. And if you really are out there reading these, Jon, thanks for finding us. Your smugness was a beacon of hope in these troubled times.

Enjoy the rest of your summer, kids, and feel free to contact at screampillr@gmail.com anytime. I do birthday parties and bar mitzvahs. That goes for you too, Jon, I've got some burning questions that I'm sure the 'Gasmers would love to hear the answers to.

Until next time -- keep praying that there will be a next time!

« Pam: Girl On the Loose: Let's Jam Down Your Throat that Pam is Similar to Marilyn Monroe (But Alive) | Main | Auditiongasm Round 1: Brooke Knows Best »

Posted in The Mole by Screampiller at 10:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Last Comment: Mr Dangerous on Aug 17, 2008 02:01 PM.