So Mark's up first. The other players are standing a football field's length away at the end of the bridge, which seems a little ridiculous until Jon gets Mark out onto the platform and offers him an exemption. He must guess at how much the players will make by the end of the challenge, and whoever guesses closest without going over will win the exemption. I think this is pretty genius, forcing players to make a quick snap judgment while standing on a tiny platform a hundred feet in the air. Well done, masochistic producers. Meanwhile, Mark stands there all cute, like he really has to pee or something.
Today's forecast for the area directly under the bridge: Precipitation
Mark finally jumps, but just misses the target. The other players follow, even though several of them immediately declared they would do no such thing. And I'd also like to note that when Paul yelled at Jon "I don't see you out here on a friggin' ledge!" Jon replied, at his very smuggest, "Actually, I did it. In the dark!" What a douche.
"While blindfolded! And on fire! Into a tornado!"
Paul goes, and misses. Clay goes, and misses. Craig goes, and we cut to commercial break just as be begins screaming for his life and all the other players begin panicking. Pretending that the fat guy broke the cord, huh? Real classy, editors. He misses too. Alex goes, after squatting over the ledge like it's a toilet, and manages to score $4,000. And lastly, Nicole goes, jumping off the platform with much more grace than the rest of them. This prompts the guys to suddenly transform into Olympic diving judges, praising her form and criticizing her failure to score. Dudes, relax. Save it for Beijing.
In the end, all the players win is the measly $4,000 won by Alex, as well as a lifetime of chronic back pain. Seriously, I thought bungee cords were supposed go to around the legs, not strategically placed around the midsection in order to snap one's spine? But what do I know. Clearly not more than some random bridge owner in Argentina. Jon lines them all up to figure out who has won the exemption. And that lucky person is: no one. They all guessed way too high. Mark was the closest, at $10,000. GUYS! What were you thinking?? Standard Price Is Right rules, always bet one dollar. ONE DOLLAR! ALWAYS!! Bob Barker must be spinning in his grave.
I'm being informed that Bob Barker is not yet, in fact, dead. Sorry Bob! Continue on your lifelong quest to cut all the balls off America's dogs!
The pre-quiz dinner consists of a lot of talk about morals and scruples and the lack of honesty and blah blah blah the important thing is that Clay is actively trying to get Alex wasted. Which is just hilarious. If Clay is the Mole, and I'm still pretty sure that he is, I would like to shake his hand. And Mark, for co-conspiring. Well played, sirs.
"What's all this about a quiz?"
Okay, quiz time. Did anyone else find it weird that the game "The Grapes of Cache" was spelled that way? When Jon smarmily blared it at the challenge I thought for sure he was referring to cash, but I guess not. Thoughts from anyone on that? Anyway, the best question of the night is: "Was the Mole wearing a collared shirt?" Gotta love the Quizmaster's flair for fashion. I wouldn't be the least surprised if one day there is a question that reads: "Is the Mole fabulous?"
Results time. Alex is the first one called, and...Alex gets the red screen of death! The booze plan worked! And see, I KNEW you could go home even when called first. I could have sworn that it happened once in seasons past. I win. Alex, however, does not, and he leaves jauntily as always, accompanied by a mini-montage of his many attempts to turn this entire season into a musical. Take us away, Alex, with another stirring rendition of "Mole hunting isn't easy to do / Maybe it's me / Maybe it's you..."
Farewell, Alex. See you at the Grammy Awards.
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Comments (14)
Great recap, Screampiller! I adore SmugJon. :)
To clear up one of your comments - there was a reason it was spelled "The Grapes of Cache". A cache (pronouced "cash") is a hidden item (usually a ammo box or film cannister) that you can hunt for using GPS devices. It's called geocaching, and one of the best websites is geocaching.com. It's becoming a pretty popular family sport - I have two kids and our family does it every weekend (and sometimes on my lunch break at work)!
I am all aboard your Clay theory - I leaned towards Mark until he pretty much single-handly won the Vineyard challenge. Geez - he managed to stay on the treadmill AND answer most of the questions! (At least I can feel good about his ability as a teacher and coach!)
Keep up the excellent writing, you crack me up!
1 of 14 | Posted by LoneButterfly | Posted on July 18, 2008 3:09 PM
Screampillar, you took the words right out of my mouth! I was screaming at the TV this week, saying "You always bid $1! $1! Haven't you idiots ever watched The Price is Right!" Glad to know I was alone.
Great recap! Keep them coming!
2 of 14 | Posted by Elsisi | Posted on July 18, 2008 3:14 PM
Jon Kelly is getting more handsome ever time I see him.
The Mole is not Mark.
The Mole is not Paul.
The Mole is not Craig.
I want big fat Craig to win.
3 of 14 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on July 18, 2008 3:37 PM
Great recap! Very funny as usual! I have a quick question though...
When they were doing the bungie jumping challenge, why did those towards the end of the line guess amounts so high? It looked like they were all outside watching it, so shouldn't they have know what the others had/hadn't accumulated? Any thoughts?
4 of 14 | Posted by JustJesse | Posted on July 18, 2008 3:59 PM
Hey Screampillar --
I believe that's the name I see as the author of this site. Want to give you huge props for brilliant and classic recaps. Nice work.
Somebody recommended I check out your gift of storytelling, insight and ability to turn a catchy/sarcastic phrase. I must admit it's been entertaining reading... I'm both amused and happy I dropped in.
Your sense of humor is wicked and appreciated. I dig the nicknames you've bestowed upon me -- possibly w/ the exception of d-bag. But I don't take it personally.... I know it's wrapped in love.... happy you dig the show.
From one smug author to another. Enjoy the rest of the season... cheers to your quest for the Moley Grail.
Stay cool and stay tuned.
Peace - Jon Kelley
5 of 14 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on July 18, 2008 8:09 PM
Yo, almost forgot......
In the last episode I didn't say:
"I did it. In the dark." when referring to jumping off the bridge.
Verbatim, my response to Paul announcing he didn't see me jumping was:
"Actually, I did. And I hit the target."
Honest mistake, Scream... I'll let is slide. Figured you wanted your facts right.
You were, however, correct on a related observation:
I did deliver it in my very smuggest.
Peace - JK
6 of 14 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on July 18, 2008 8:21 PM
Please, please, please let those above posts be legit....I LOVE IT!!! I am loving this season and my whole family is hooked...now that my kids are older and can enjoy it (14, 13, 11)
7 of 14 | Posted by eellsinoc | Posted on July 18, 2008 11:07 PM
I highly doubt those posts are legit...Just some bored person with way too much time on their hands...
8 of 14 | Posted by JustJesse | Posted on July 19, 2008 1:07 AM
I Googled those letters and numbers and came up with two different pigment colors, orange and yellow. That makes me want to rethink my choice of Mark as the mole, and perhaps go with Clay? I would guess those colors are used to make bricks, right?
9 of 14 | Posted by monkeedo1956 | Posted on July 19, 2008 1:44 AM
N2O definitely is a clue to who is the mole; no other reason to show it in closeup. BUT it could have another meaning besides Nitrous Oxide gas -
N20 could mean November 20 which is Craig's birthdate.
10 of 14 | Posted by asmaj | Posted on July 19, 2008 1:48 PM
Henry Lagarde clue in the journal, i think HL just stands for Henry Lagarde.
The Mole's Journal has the coordinate: 34.05N, 118.25W
That gives you a location in Los Angeles, California.
I was on the boards at ABC and someone found out that a building at those coordinates is named, Paul Hastings Tower. People over there have a lot of clues pointing towards Paul.
I've only had Craig and Clay on my list, I don't really want to have to now consider Paul too.
11 of 14 | Posted by asmaj | Posted on July 19, 2008 1:57 PM
The Mole journal points to someone who:
- doesn't like grapes (but I think all the players have been seen drinking wine)
- learned Spanish in school
- possibly paid for cab fare (there is a receipt)
- was blindfolded going down luge (journal was changed online)
- and seemed to think the llama costume was funny
Of the 5 remaining:
Blindfolded: Clay, Paul
Not: Nicole, Mark, Craig
12 of 14 | Posted by asmaj | Posted on July 19, 2008 2:03 PM
Just Jesse:
I thought the same thing abuot the players at the end.. esp. Nicole -- she must have known that no one got anything, except possibly alex.. or I guess not, actually. I'da been all "$1, Bob-I-Mean-Jon". of course, i really wouldn't have been even able to understand what was being said to me at that point, being on a board over a ravine. I LOL'd at alex's take on him not hearing anything, then the ed's making jon's voice all slow-mo incomprehensible.. so sad alex is gone.. i was really liking him. he said somethingi so funny this ep, and now i can't remeber it. it was similar to the ep where he said "You're mean in Argentina, Jon." a copule eps back.. lol. .shoot, may have to find it online and post again.
13 of 14 | Posted by duckncvr | Posted on July 19, 2008 5:34 PM
okay. rewatched and alex said when clay went "I miss you already." aww. i will miss him. i like craigs "I'm not a good dangler, Jon" too.. if i were nicole, really would have guessed $1, just assuming no one would have gotten much, and then tossed the bag elsewhere. oh well. she didn't need it anyway. :(
14 of 14 | Posted by duckncvr | Posted on July 19, 2008 6:06 PM