Torn Apart at the Seams - 
by J-Unit
It's a time we have all been waiting for. The return of The OC. If you watch it, then you don't really need to know any more. If you haven't watched it, I should say that it was instrumental in the creation of TVgasm. And although I won't say the TVgasm offices are a shrine to the television show, there is a picture of Mischa Barton on the coffee table, although purely for comedic effect. Thanks to the major league baseball playoffs (who won again? nobody has reminded in the last couple of weeks), we had to take an almost unimaginable time off from the show, eagerly awaiting the resolution of one of the best cliffhanger episodes in recent memory. With the playoffs over, and the election returns taking surprisingly less time than anybody could have expected, we are ready to dig in and enjoy the best over the top melodrama you are going to see all year.
For those of you who don't remember, we have a few little issues hanging around from last season. Ryan had knocked up Theresa, so he headed back to Chino in order to do the right thing and take care of his new family. Caleb and Julie Cooper were married, but the whole house of cards was about fall down as the feds starting poking around. Marissa started drinking again and, um, what else? Oh yes, Seth decided he couldn't take Newport anymore, so he did the mature thing and ran away, on Summer. No, not his girlfriend, but the boat. But at least he left a couple of notes behind to explain everything away.
Some time has passed, and the Cohens have decided that they needed to renovate their house. There are a bunch of sweaty, shirtless men working around the house and they are all ripped. After Julie's bachelor party, the male strippers needed jobs or something. Since they were familiar with the Cohen house already, Kirsten decided to keep them around. Well, that is sort of what it looked like, but that's not really the case. They just found the only contracting company in all of Southern California without any Mexicans or Armenians on the payroll. This is all a metaphor, because the Cohen house is torn apart, much like their family, and they can only hope either one will be fixed very soon. Sandy and Kirsten miss Seth, but disagree how they should go about bringing him home. As Kirsten said, Sandy likes the hippie parenting, not pushing too hard for Seth to come back, but she just wants him to bring him home. At this point in time, I am thinking how in the hell is he going to do that? Didn't Seth say he wanted to go to Tahiti? Did he have a GPS suppository or something?
The past few months haven't gone that well for a lot of our crew from last year. Summer, depressed at the loss of her boyfriend, and kind of wishing she had more to go on than a dumb letter, spent a month or so crying before going into rehab and finding a boyfriend. At least she didn't hit the painkillers like her stepmom. Marissa, meanwhile, has been giving her liver a workout, and starting to "look a little thin" according to Summer. Well, it's good to know the writers still enjoy being self aware about the lives of the cast members. Look for them to get Summer and Seth together very quickly, and then make jokes about them eating at The Griddle all of the time.
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