TVgasm Recaps

A few people watched The Player this week. Unfortunately, we didn't, otherwise we would have noticed this plucky applicant, Kyle, from Boston. Turns out not only did he go to our alma mater, Dartmouth, but he has a twin, Matt, too. Big Green sports enthusiasts might remember the guys as those twins that played football. What are the chances that Player producers will swap the two in and out during the game, à la Adria and Natalie on Big Brother?

Okay, well, here's the dirt on these two... um, we have none. We just wanted to name drop. We do that from time to time, in case you haven't noticed. Actually, a few Dartmouth alums contacted us about this, so this is our way of saying, yes, we read the emails. Of course, if Kyle or Matt have anything to contribute to the site, we welcome it.

Until then, we'll just marvel on how UPN has suddenly registered on the TVgasm radar.

First of all I apologize to our readers for the delay in this article. This show premiered 3 days ago and I would have had this post of sooner, had it not been for the three day shower required to try to wash off the smarm which the UPN layered on me with wreckless abandon.

Billed as the hip hop Bachelorette (Bachelorizette?), the Player sets up 13 playa's all trying to out play one another for the affections of Dawn, our Bacheloreezee in the Heezee. Now, what these guys don’t know is Dawn not only knows the "game" but she herself is a self described "Playa." Ah SNAPS!

Without The Simple Life 2 to kick around anymore, last night my attention wandered towards UPN, of all places, where I sampled a bit of television trash known as The Player. I had heard all sorts of negative things about this hip hop dating show, but surely I thought I'd be in for a campy treat. It was campy alright, but hardly a treat. Problem with this show is that it's straight up boring, fool. Granted, the reality dating genre is not my favorite (Average Joe is about as close I get to this stuff); so I may not have been predisposed to this show. I will say though that I'd pick The Player over The Bachelor/ette any day. At least this UPN debacle has a little flava, as opposed to the love letter to Middle America ABC thrusts upon us thrice a year.

For the five people out there who watch The Player on UPN, you know that one of the leading candidates for Dawn's shallow love is Chyno, the soulful singer/songwriter from Charlotte. Even if this playa loses Dawn's affections, he has won over the hearts of many women, or at least as far as I can tell based on all the postings to discussion boards across the internet. For many ladies, Chyno is a "sexy piece of chocolate", as evidenced by his biggest fan, Chyno-Lover, who writes on women.com: "CHYNO IS HELLA FINE!!!!!!! CHYNO CHYNO CHYNO!!! IS LIKE DA FINEST GUY EVER F*CK DA OTHA GUYS! IF DAWN DUNT PIK HER DEN SHE LKE F*CKED IN DA HEAD BADLY.. HE'S SO SWT TOO . OMG IM LKE IN LOVE WIT HIM!" Now we can't all be as eloquent as Chyno-Lover, but I think we can appreciate that this dude is one smooth, chill, laid-back guy who could never possibly be dorky. Right? Right????

Oh so wrong...

Turns out the Amish's Beano Stick isn't the only cool "eeno" sound on UPN. Last week I quietly posted a little article about Chyno from The Player. Not many people watch the show - heck, I only saw it once - but I was bored and found a random Star Search photo of him on a lazy Friday at work; so I fashioned a small pseudo exposé post about Chyno's reality track record and aspirations. The post sat there, quietly shuffling down the page as newer, flashier articles emerged on TVgasm. But then last night, the little article exploded, and suddenly the comments section turned into a Chyno shrine discussion board.

Why the sudden interest? Well, the comments revealed that Dawn (the lead hootchie) or perhaps her two skank-a-riffic friends voted off our favorite Player in a surprise twist that has incensed the show's female audience, What's an angry viewer to do? Rant and rave on TVgasm, of course! Well, if it makes anyone feel better, Chyno fans can expand their obsessions by visiting the aspiring singer's new website, Chyno.com . In the meantime though, we'll anoint ourselves the unofficial Chyno hub - only because a Yahoo Search for Chyno (as of 9/8/04) ranks us higher. Mwahahahaha...

We are a very diverse group here at TVgasm, and it may shock some readers to know that we have a rabid fan base that loves updates on Chyno, late of UPN's The Player. In fact, if you do a search for Chyno using Google, TVgasm appears above Chyno's own site. Heh. Well, thanks to TVgasm reader Gabrielle, we can offer up a few more pictures of our favorite Star Search contestant turned ladies man.

All photos are courtesy of indmix.com which features a lovely assortment of photos of women with gigantic booties. I only rifled through a few of their galleries, but I'm sure there are many more Chyno photos to be found there.

For people interested in Chyno's burdgeoning musical career, zip on over to 44records.com to hear his work with fellow Player alum Acie. I would post one of the mp3s here, but you know, they're all really crappy. Thanks to Ray for the tip.

TVgasm's mini gallery can be found after the jump.