"Ladies and gentlemen: I suck."

If there's anything narcisists don't like, it's failure - because then people stop paying attention to them. So I can only imagine the asshole Rocco DiSpirito has become to his thankless staff now that both of his restaurants are shutting down. Yes, hapless tourists. You heard correctly. Both Rocco's 21 and Union Pacific will be no more by the end of the year. Actually, Rocco's 21 (the subject of The Restaurant) has already thrown out its new barstools, pushed the yenta waitress to the curb, and closed down shop - so if you're flying in from Wisconsin to eat Mama's meatballs and get a kiss from Rocco, you might want to go see Cats instead. Oh, actually, that's closed too. Well, there's always Hard Rock.

In the case of Union Pacific, Rocco's more prestigious effort, apparently the stink of DiSpirito brought that establishment to a halt also. This means that by the end of December, celebrity chef Rocco will have no restaurants to cook in. Does this mean he'll just flitter away into oblivion (or the next Surreal Life season), or is he going to attack the talk show circuit with the annoying tenacity of Steven Cojocuru? Let's hope he just goes away.

For more information, check out the article in New York Times Online. Registration required. Thanks to TVgasm reader Jash for giving us the heads up.