One Night In Paris Hilton's Sidekick - 
by B-Side
It's President's day, and if you're lucky (or unemployed), you have the day off from work. What to do with all that free time? Well, fortunately for you, Paris Hilton has provided us with yet another nifty scandal. Looks like her Sidekick (the very same one she uses to IM Snoop Dogg, Big Boi, and Molly Shannon on those T-Mobile commercials) was hacked into over the weekend. As reported in Duuh.com, Paris-Hacked.com, and Defamer (among many, many other places), Paris's entire contact list — and a few tasty phone pics — are now available to the public. Most of the celebrities have probably already changed their numbers, so it's no use publishing them here. Besides, it's kind of, you know, illegal (for the record, Snoop, Big Boi, and Molly Shannon were NOT in her rolodex, despite what T-Mobile would have you believe). The upside to all this, however, is a prank call to Nick Carter which will probably leave many wondering how turned on he was by this week's Desperate Housewives...
Personally, my favorite part of this entire mess are Paris's reminder notes. They range from the mundane ("Call Maroon 5") to the argumentative ("The only reason I didn't go to Vegas was because I wanted to see you. How am I disrespectful?") to the personal ("Get birth control kill pill") to the gossipy ("Tell Ken about Jess trying to bone JT"). It's hard to derive any narrative from these random blips and phrases, but there is a certain Dadaist flow to it, and by the time I reached the cryptic line "A1 Eli Manning 24", I found myself snapping my fingers and saying "So true. So true."
So enjoy, everyone. There's nothing like completely violating someone's personal privacy to bring America together.
Comments
noticably missing from her phone book, one Rick Solomon.
Posted by: madeyoulaugh | February 21, 2005 1:12 AM(#1 of 9)
actually hilarious. that girl has no luck whatsoever. Wish i caught onto this earlier though, i could do with some phone loving from ms lohan
Posted by: empty | February 21, 2005 6:26 AM(#2 of 9)
"that girl has no luck whatsoever"
I think you better rethink that. If she wasn't such a filthy rich attention whore than nobody would be hacking into her phone to begin with. All of her bad luck stems from overexposure which oddly enough, is how she became famous to begin with. It's not like she actually has talent or anything.
Posted by: Lisa | February 21, 2005 10:17 AM(#3 of 9)
I can't believe how many pictures she takes of herself. Isn't she sick of looking at herself. And I can't believe how many naked pics she takes of herself. Man, I would just assume that my phone could get lost or what not & not have those pics so easily acessible.
Posted by: Genevieve | February 21, 2005 12:45 PM(#4 of 9)
what i find most amusing is the fact that she strikes the same pose in every picture, clearly indicating that she has spent ample hours practicing said expression the way zoolander rehearsed 'le tigre' and 'magnum.'
notice how she never shows her teeth when she smiles? in fact, i think the only time i've ever seen paris' teeth, they were night-vision green and wrapped around rick solomon's candy-cane.
paris hilton is one of the few people on the planet who really, really, really deserves this kind of shit. may her fifteen minutes end sooner than later, preferably with even more abject humiliation.
Posted by: jack | February 21, 2005 1:07 PM(#5 of 9)
what a disaster for t-mobile's next ad campaign!
some say that it was hacked, others that a password was stolen. if it's the latter, i bet it was because her password was 'tinkerbell' or something.
Posted by: chettogirl | February 22, 2005 10:13 AM(#6 of 9)
Chettogirl, her password was indeed Tinkerbell. Her infamous dog. Her 'secret question' was What's your favorite pet's name? Oh come on! Like everyone doesn't know that. Geez Paris, at least be original.
Posted by: Jessica | February 24, 2005 6:24 AM(#7 of 9)
well this answers her own question of why these things always happen to her.
i heard that some people crank called victoria gotti. even if you did have the number, would you ever crank call a gotti? that takes a lot of guts.
Posted by: chettogirl | February 24, 2005 11:59 AM(#8 of 9)
What I think is the best is how the only people who actually want to take pictures are either animals, or people who used to be famous. stuck up snot!
Posted by: ME!! | March 2, 2005 9:07 PM(#9 of 9)