Oh, and never put your child's education in their hands either. That's what one unwise mom did last night when she permitted Paris and Nicole to help her son, Tyler, with his homework. Drama coach Nicole caused Shakespeare to roll in his grave (and quite possibly throw up too) when she advised her student to rap a monologue from "Romeo and Juliet". According to Nicole, rapping means swaying from side to side while punching the air. It was the sort of lame notion that could only come from Lionel Richie spawn. Amazingly, this wasn't the first time The Bard's words have been turned into clunky floetry. For those longing to see the unholy union of British pubescence and awkward Shakespeare rap, be sure to check out the BBC's Body Story. Believe me, it's worth it.

Paris and Nicole then went on to help with Tyler's physics homework. Apparently he had a quiz the next day, prompting Paris to ask "Is it a pop-quiz?" Um, no. Usually those are, you know, popped on you. Hence, pop-quiz. Paris realized she had made a dumbass of herself and giggled to the camera as if to say "I know America. I don't know how I do it either." Still, there was studying to be had, and I really don't know why Tyler sought the wisdom of these two girls on the subject of physics. After all, these were the two who earlier had traveled around a loop four times looking for an onramp, hoping it would mystically appear.

The study session came to a pleasant close, and the girls dined with Tyler's mom, Laurie, and her boyfriend, Denny - along with their gaggle of motorcycle friends. Tyler even performed a reprise of his Shakespearean hip hop upon a chair in the middle of what looked like a mess hall. By the way, Nicole was kind enough to don a pair of bright red, knee-high, fluffy boots. It was supposed to look chic, but instead she looked like a Clydesdale that had stepped in a vat of tomato juice.