Only a few episodes left to the Sopranos season and the whacking tally is abysmally low. Don't get me wrong, it's been a good season, with sharp, funny writing all along. But when the only real mob hit you can sink your teeth into is Frankie Valli, it leaves a void. Sure we all loved watching Lauren Bacall get punched in the mouth, but it would have been so much more satisfying to see Christopher or Tony dump a body in a wood chipper. It's like going to a Celine Dion concert and she doesn't sing My Heart Will Go On. Sure you had a great time, bought some t-shirts, even met up with all your friends from the CelineDion.com message board, but you still feel like something was missing.
Well, this week's body count was fairly small as well but some plot developments are set in motion that make the impending season finale look more and more interesting.
The show opens with Tony getting his morning paper. Sal the local greenskeeper comes over to talk to him. He wants to know how long he is going to have to keep doing the Sacramoni's lawn for free. If you want to know why he's doing that it's kind of a long story involving him getting beaten up by just released gangster Feech La Mana, played by Robert Loggia, who then was sent back to prison on a scheme to violate his parole because he was muscling in on Tony's turf, yadda yadda. It's complicated. This show is Byzantine in its characters and plot lines. If you really want to know you will probably have to do some research.
Tony is pissed that Sal wants out of doing Johnny Sack's lawn for free. He calls him a selfish prick and that he better keep doing his lawn and stop complaining. You see, just when Sal thought he was out, they pull him back in.
In the clink, Johnny Sack's lawyer is talking to him about his impending trial and whether or not he is willing to cooperate. Johnny refuses, saying that him being a rat is like asking his lawyer, who is Jewish, to be a Nazi. Or asking David Blaine to actually do a magic trick. His lawyer is glad to hear it, saying he doesn't represent rats. Only humans and porpoises. (ZING!)
Over at Satriale's Janice is being her usual wonderful self and complaining to Tony that they didn't save her stuffed pork loin that she ordered special. It was instead given to Carmela. "You get what you pay for," Tony says, meaning that she doesn't buy any meat but instead expects it all for free.
But bitching abut meat is only the preamble. Janice is just getting warmed up. "I don't know why you can't just admit that you blame us for getting sho,t" she snaps at him. Tony, not taking the bait, simply says, "I only have myself to blame." Janice, in an amazing display of "see you next Tuesday"-ness snaps back. "So obviously you'd like to blame somebody." Holy crap, that is a woman picking a fight. And we soon find out what fight she wants. You see, Janice married Bobby Bacala, the borderline retarded idiot. Up until a few years ago all he did was watch over Uncle Junior, and he barely did that competently. Now the only reason she married him was because she was hoping that would help get him a promotion to captain and get Janice richer. Janice, you see, is exactly like Tony's mom. A soul sucking harpy witch.
Tony tries to explain to her that the reason Bobby isn't a captain has nothing to do with her, but more to do with the fact that he is a grown man who plays with model trains. "Oh and it's OK for Neil Young?" is her defense. "He owns Lionel!!" Tony yells.
When Janice sees that the yelling tact not working, she switches to the guilt trip. Bringing up the fact that she's his sister, she cried for him in the hospital, and blah, blah, blah. Tony still doesn't take the bait. While he appreciates her sitting with him in the hospital, "We both know, no matter how much help I gave, you'd still be here fucking complaining." And he says it all with a smirk. I love Tony.
« Think You've Seen Crazy? Well, KISS MY ASS! | Main | The Memory Remains »
Comments (11)
EdHill:
Hoped you woulda mentioned the best transition ever--
Jimbo rolls over to Vito in bed to give him some backdoor lovin.' CUT TO: Bobby's model train roaring into a tunnel.
Brilliant!
1 of 11 | Posted by whawha
|
Posted on May 21, 2006 1:26 PM
Vito deserves to be whacked. His gay fairy tale had come true...but being the piece of shit lazy ass stupido he is, he just couldn't stay away. When he shot the guy on the side of the road it was an affirmation that Vito will never be anything but a made guy - it's in his blood.
Che peccato.
hb
(whawha - loved your "wine" selection)
2 of 11 | Posted by HoneyBunny
|
Posted on May 21, 2006 2:37 PM
I’m not a big fan of the Vito/Johnny Cakes story arc. It feels like its draging on way too long. It did give us a chance, though to witness Vito’s impressive cutlery skills. Did anyone else notice how adeptly he chopped up that onion? He looked like Martin Yan. Who knows what in the hell he was going through his pea-sized brain as he traveled the long highway (Hershey, no doubt) back to New Jersey? There’s absolutely no way he can go back to his old life!
Does anyone know, is this the season finale coming up or the series finale? It seems to me that they’ve got a feces-load of unresolved plot lines to resolve. Just to name a few:
1) Artie’s culinary/financial crisis
2) Carmella’s spec house-she’s as crazy as Richard Speck if she thinks she’s making any money off this venture.
3) The two mysterious Middle Eastern dudes (Basta & Fazool?) who are obviously up to no good.
4) Christopher's relapse into heroin addiction
5) The whole Vito thing
6) Phil’s presumed ascension into a leadership role at the NY branch office, and the tension that will cause between him and Tony
7) Johnny Sack’s multi-million liquidation of his ownership position in a New Orleans construction company. Bet the feds will be pretty pissed when they find out he was concealing this asset.
I hope the series doesn't end with a lame Kevin Fennerty dream sequence. That would be a major disappointment.
3 of 11 | Posted by conrad5
|
Posted on May 21, 2006 3:42 PM
conrad5 --
The episode on June 4th is the last episode until January 2007, so it's like the 1/2 season finale. HBO is giving us the for real last eight episodes next year, but they're not calling it Season 7, just eight "bonus episodes." I think HBO did someting similar with the last season of Sex and the City.
4 of 11 | Posted by ElectraGlide
|
Posted on May 21, 2006 8:25 PM
Agreed that the season hasn't been as great as prior ones, especially on the "whacking" front, but last night's was the best of the season I thought (don't worry...I know how strict everyone's getting about spoilers).
The season finale looks pretty decent, and I'm hoping that things pick up for the last 8 episodes.
What ever happened to the Feds? Are they in hibernation after all of their rats died/got whacked?
5 of 11 | Posted by TheEmancipationofGigi
|
Posted on May 22, 2006 4:48 AM
Damn. Took you a long time for such a, albeit good, recap. Taped last night's episode, so can't spoil it for anyone. Glad no one spoiled it for me. I'll be watching it along with "Big Love" tonight now that our Pistons put young LeBron James to bed last night! Deeeeeeeeetroit Basketball!
Anyhoo, I'll be happy when they do away Vito, as we all know they must. Hope we go a little deeper into Chris's fall. That promises to be a humdinger when Uncle Tony hears about it. Madonn!
The raping of Johnny Sack continues even if it does presage his entering the prison and maybe getting it for real from one of the brothers. There's a common romanticizing about the Mob that says that families of soldiers doing time are provided for. Not so, and even if it were true, Johnny is now dead to his Gumbaris by virtue of having allocuted. I think the allusion that ultimately crime doesn't pay is getting a little heavy-handed, though, with the Cosa Nostra dealing out street justice left and right,
I do agree the Vito story line has been given way too much time, especially with the quantly gay New England town. I did like the gay tinge they gave all the volunteer firemen at the bar after Vito's "heroics". He IS a lazy good for nothing bastard, ain't he?
Two predictions: last night's episode will see the demise of Vito and it will set things up for the 1/2 finale next week, which should be a two-hour deal but won't. I sure as hell hope the entire cast decides they want to come back after 2007's 8 episodes are done. There's a whole lot more meat in this saga and it should run for a few more seasons. If it doesn't, I'll be saving my HBO fees for a couple of Chalupas at Mickey D's.
6 of 11 | Posted by Tony A.
|
Posted on May 22, 2006 5:11 AM
The scene where Vito struggles with work, distracting himself with thoughts of sandwiches, and refusing to check his watch until the "angle of the sun" tells him it is almost noon and this f*cking day is half over (it is actually 9:50) is a classic scene. I loved it.
I had a job like that. I once comforted myself by singing the words "I quit" over and over to the tune of "Hi-ho, It's off to work we go". I think everyone probably had a job like that at some point.
Of course, I was 20. Vito is an adult.
7 of 11 | Posted by BigMax
|
Posted on May 22, 2006 6:37 AM
Wondeful recap Edhill and very few typos!! Congrats on the spell check!
I LOVE this show - I think it is brillant and even though they are dragging their feet making a point this season, it is SO worth it. I hope they decide to continue after the mini-season or Soprano's will go into the same unfinished hell that Sex and the City and Six Feet Under went into. I still dont feel closure with those shows!!
I think the Vito gay story line is fascinating. I cant wait to see if Tony will protect his top earner or if prejudice/fear will win out. Christopher has always been a ticking time bomb and will implode. Janice is a "see you next tuesday" and I cant believe Tony would help her at all. He is getting weak. They are the reason Tony was shot by Jr!
Clever recap - great show! Will be sad when it ends!
P.S. Poster #6 - GO PISTONS!! Glad to know there is another MI person smart enough to be on Tvgasm!
8 of 11 | Posted by jelliepair
|
Posted on May 22, 2006 7:21 AM
HoneyBunny:
Regarding the wine selection--Sometimes the best comedy is the kind that's old school.
As in elementary school.
Didja see last night's episode? Tony and Carmela BOTH getting killed in that car bombing!
I didn't see that coming...
Oops! Was that a spoiler?
9 of 11 | Posted by whawha
|
Posted on May 22, 2006 8:12 AM
whawha -
Everytime I try to get out of the doghouse - you pull me back in ~~
hb
10 of 11 | Posted by HoneyBunny
|
Posted on May 22, 2006 10:50 AM
HB: wait til you see every other show recap I post to...I've got my theme of the month for June now!
p.s. great godfather reference. Very appropriate!
11 of 11 | Posted by whawha
|
Posted on May 22, 2006 10:59 AM