This is it. The penultimate episode of The Sopranos for the season. Well, until the "second half" of the season, but since this is HBO and The Sopranos, that means we will be waiting another year at the least. So let's just savor what we got while we got it.
Remember last week my bitching about the low whacking count? Well, in a further testimony to the power that TVgasm has in this industry, David Chase read what I wrote and he listened. This week's episode was a veritable whackfest. A Whackapalooza if you will. Dare I say, a Whackgasm. We had not just one, but two brutal slayings this week. And I'm not just talking about Carmela's slaying of the French language. Hey-Ooooh! Thanks. I'll be here all week. Enjoy the veal.
The show opens on a family note with Carmela and Tony learning that A.J. got fired from Blockbuster for selling promotional movie items. The lure of making a quick buck off selling White Chicks movie posters was too much for him. You can't really blame him. That movie was a phenomenon. I mean, they were the Wayans brothers masquerading as white chicks! It turned all our notions of race and gender on its head in hilarious fashion! Unfortunately that's not all the bad news they are going to have to deal with this morning. Meadow, the good offspring, comes in to tell them that she has decided to move to California to be with Finn in dental school. She is going to see about a boy. Tony doesn't seem too concerned about it, but Carmela is clearly upset.
Next Tony and Silvio are meeting with Phil Leotardo to talk mob business. For some reason they decide to do it in a Home Depot. Where else can you talk about extortion and racketeering while getting a new doorknob? Now that Johnny Sack is in prison and essentially out as boss, Phil is flexing his muscles a little bit. Phil is cutting Tony's end on the Tidelands project. When Tony tries to protest, Phil says he doesn't care. "It's my decision. Now if you'll excuse me I have to look at paint swatches."
At home Tony is watching the History Channel in the kitchen when Carmela comes to tell him that she wants to take that trip to Paris she was talking about. Tony can't get away for the week. What with the NY boss convicted and one of his crew being gay he's just swamped with work. He'll be toiling away at the strip club for a good 18 hours a day keeping his nose to the grindstone. "Grindstone" being the nickname one of the strippers has for her labia. Carmela says she'll just go with Rosalie Aprile. Tony agrees. He says after all she's been though lately with the spec house, and A.J. being a loser, she deserves to get away.
Later at the mall (Home Depot, the mall. Whatever happened to back alleys and smoke filled Italian restaurants as mob hangouts?) Tony is having coffee when he is approached by Vito wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap with the words "I love cock" inscribed on top. Vito tells Tony he wants back in. He's sorry he had to leave. "Things got complicated," he says. "Sure it's complicated when you're taking it up your fag ass." Tony sneers at him. It's not like that, Vito explains. He's not gay, it was just a side effect from his blood pressure medication. He's right. It says so clearly on the bottle. "Side effects include nausea, diarrhea and an urge to toss a hairy man's salad." Or am I confusing that with Luden's cough drops? Either way, Vito says he can get a note from his doctor if he wants one "proving" it. "What? That you don't like to suck cock?" Hey, it worked for Clay Aiken.
Vito tells Tony his plan. He can't work construction, he knows. But meth and girls, they have a more "tolerant" atmosphere he says. One of the few positive aspects of being a methamphetamine junkie with a taste for hookers. You become less of a gay bigot I guess. Wait. Does that mean I need to start taking meth and banging hookers to coincide with my already accepting view of homosexuals? Cuz I will if I have to.
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Comments (18)
'bout time the gang war started. These last 9 episodes are gonna rock my world.
1 of 18 | Posted by joshman5k
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Posted on May 28, 2006 11:51 PM
Did Fat Dom not learn the lesson of Billy Batts in Goodfellas? You've got to know when to stop breaking balls, or it'll end with a knife in the gut, or a bat to the skull.
And I loved Phil's entrance in the motel room- very scary.
2 of 18 | Posted by madpuppy
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Posted on May 29, 2006 6:41 AM
EdHill -
I hate the fact that you make me wait so long for my Sopranogasm...but as you said:
"let's just savor what we got while we got it."
The whole Adriana thing that keeps coming up this 1/2 season has to be going somewhere. Do they uncover her body at the spec house when Carmela tears it down? Did you notice that the FBI agent was the Gendarme in Carm's dream that was telling her to tell her friend that she was dead?
Phil coming out of the closet at Vito's execution was stupidly hilarious.
When Carlo came to report Vito's demise and saw that they already knew and Sil called him Jimmy Olsen I had a Superman flash back.
Oh hell - I have go back and watch it again coz I can't get enough.
hb
3 of 18 | Posted by HoneyBunny
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Posted on May 29, 2006 8:05 AM
Whackfest...whackapalooza...whackgasm....Enjoy the veal.
LOVE IT! LOL
4 of 18 | Posted by lynturn
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Posted on May 29, 2006 8:06 AM
It wasn't a Home Depot, it was a Costco. But the jokes were funny anyway!
5 of 18 | Posted by TVEyes
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Posted on May 29, 2006 8:38 AM
"When Tony was in the hospital. When it was touch and go, he came out of his coma one night and said 'Who am I. Where am I going.' Now I know what he meant."
I really liked the Kevin Finnerty saga earlier in the season. While poking around online I saw this bit of (possibly false) information:
Kevin Finnerty - Neapolitan dialect “Che ven’finerti” - means “What will become of you?” or “How will you finish/end?”
Source: http://www.dogmaticblog.com/?p=641
It was close enough to make me think that Chase had that translation in mind.
6 of 18 | Posted by Tom
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Posted on May 29, 2006 9:54 AM
Honey Bunny-
My husband said the same thing when Adriana was killed. He thought for sure that Carmella's spec house was the site where Adriana was killed (and possibly buried). I thought that wouldn't be though as it seemed so obvious. I guess we shall see...
I think it really sucks that after Sunday, we have to wait another year to find out what's going to happen.
7 of 18 | Posted by derder
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Posted on May 29, 2006 10:19 AM
This past episode demonstrates how smart, funny and creative this series can be. I think this was, by far, the best show of the season. It had everything one expects in a good television show: Culture, history, humor, bloody executions, family strife, anal violation with a pool cue, nudity, and a very hot cimbbbj scene.
I especially liked the contrast between Ro and Carm dining on gourmet cuisine in an elegant French restaurant-and the seedy, dreary, Satriale’s dining room, where Sil is complaining about rodent shit on the floor. Who knew that Carlo was such a hot head? His temper goes from zero to sixty faster than a Ferrari. It’s a big stretch from getting insulted…to physically eviscerating the person insulting you. Hide the cutlery, if you ever see Carlo sitting in the front row of a Don Rickles show!
I didn’t understand how Christopher got himself turned around so quickly since last week. In the previous episode, he was in a full-blown heroin funk, and now he seems a model of rectitude. Do drug addicts really improve that quickly? I’m no expert on the subject, but I once saw an Oprah show, where she told a drug addict that she can relate to the young lady’s addition, because Oprah really, really likes French fries. You tell me, which Phil is more responsible for mayhem: Dr. Phil or Phil Leotardo?
8 of 18 | Posted by conrad5
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Posted on May 29, 2006 11:31 AM
"Golden Power of Vito?"
dammit why can't I come up with titles that funny?
9 of 18 | Posted by EdHill
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Posted on May 29, 2006 7:23 PM
Golden Power of Vito- heh heh... Very clever- I just got it (apparently I am a little slow).
10 of 18 | Posted by derder
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Posted on May 29, 2006 7:58 PM
Did anyone notice how Carmela tells Tony how she told him that she loved him in the hopsital when he was in a coma. Tony responds 'no', and she goes on to say "I should tell you more often." Tony says something to the effect of "nothin's stopping you now", and yet she doesn't say anything at all. She's such a shitty person. That walletful of moola would have been worth a Sunday dinner, 3 ILoveYous and at least 5-6 blowjobs.
I felt terrible about Vito's death. It was as bad as Ade getting killed by Sil.But Fat Dom's slaying was HI-larious. He totally deserved it.
BTW Ed Hill-Brilliant E Street reference. Who knew Steve VZ could hop on a man's back for having his guitar work insulted!
11 of 18 | Posted by jelodi97
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Posted on May 30, 2006 4:45 AM
Tom -- if true, that is awesome. The best part is that so few people would understand -- I sure didn't.
12 of 18 | Posted by BigMax
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Posted on May 30, 2006 6:25 AM
"Side effects include nausea, diarrhea and an urge to toss a hairy man's salad."
hahahhaha. genius!
13 of 18 | Posted by umnata
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Posted on May 30, 2006 7:34 AM
"French TOAST" !!! -- "French bread" wouldn't have been a joke, like "French Fries" is.
Jeez, EdHill.
My bet is that all the Adriana stuff has to do with Christopher being arrested as her killer and either being whacked or selling out Tony; or maybe Tony choosing Christopher, as his real family, over "The Family."
That's a good guess about Carmela's building site -- maybe that's why Tony wanted it sold quickly. He lied to Carmela about helping with the permits so she'd give up.
Also, AJ's new job in construction must be bringing him closer to being in The Family.
14 of 18 | Posted by holyterror
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Posted on May 30, 2006 8:08 AM
The other guy who beat Vito to death was "The Hairdo."
I thought the same thing about Adriana in Paris. They should fly me over for one freaking scene.
What was hilarious about Carmela being lost on the way to the Louvre is that she was very near it. If she had only gotten off the bridge and walked along the river a quarter mile she would have been right there. She could see it from where she was standing. I got some marvelous shots on that bridge on Christmas Day.
15 of 18 | Posted by Lady J
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Posted on May 30, 2006 9:08 AM
They also specifically brought up both Adriana's and RALPH's murders in that flashback after Christopher and Tony stole the wine.
Maybe Christopher will be caught for Adriana's murder, and give up Tony in Ralph's murder.
Tony would then be known to have hit a made man, which he never admitted and is cause for him to be killed. When Ralph was hit, they said that if Tony was discovered to have killed Ralph and kept it quiet, SILVIO would be the "first one to kill him."
End of series.
16 of 18 | Posted by holyterror
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Posted on May 30, 2006 10:18 AM
They can't get Christopher for Adrianna's murder - he didn't do it or plan it. Also... the murder definitely wasn't committed at the spec house because we saw Ade crawling away in the woods when she was shot by the 2 sidekicks... she thought she was going to be with Christopher because he attempted suicide.
17 of 18 | Posted by AngTexas
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Posted on May 31, 2006 8:05 AM
Carmela's building project has to have some relevance. And Christopher has a new wife and might rat out anyone to stay out of jail.
18 of 18 | Posted by holyterror
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Posted on June 2, 2006 1:08 PM