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Flavor Flav Shuts It Down - TVgasm

by J-Unit

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flav_beachAlthough VH1 has tucked The Surreal Life away into that lonely Sunday night at 10PM Eastern time slot, it continues to be a stellar piece of "crane your neck as you drive by the car crash" piece of entertainment. While you can't argue that Rob and Amber from Survivor are the most famous reality couple in recent memory, there surely isn't enough words to describe the spectacle of Flavor Flav and Brigitte Nielsen. He seems like a fin guy, she seems like she is drunk all of the time, and they both enjoy it when she is walking around topless. Now that's a recipe for relationship success.

After a trip down to San Diego where everybody got a chance to gamble and watch Charro perform live on stage, the group was ready to head back to Los Angeles, but not before they stopped along the way for some surf lessons. I used to think Jordan Knight simply sucked, but now it is becoming tiring even making fun of him for sucking. Dave was afraid of Flavor Flav's snoring, so he slept in the closet of their suite. Jordan was afraid of human interaction, so he slept in the RV. Charro slept in her suite, and Ryan and Brigitte lied about performing to get a comped room. Apparently all of the people who went to Harrah's Casino didn't realize royalty was in the parking lot, so they made noise as they were coming and going, like they were supposed to be enjoying themselves or something.

Seeking to make sure nobody else is getting any sleep, Jordan decides to wake everybody else up. To do this, he decides to do his best Chris Farley impression and performs his interpretation "housekeeeeping!" routine from Tommy Boy. Chris Farley does it well, anybody who is stoned can make it at least sound funny, but Jordan could not say it and be funny at the same time. He eventually wakes Brigitte, and we discover she wears thongs about three sizes too small. After some breakfast the crew piled into the RV where Flavor Flav was ready to get rolling. Dave drove down to San Diego, so Flav said he wanted to drive back, a situation everybody was trying to avoid, considering Flav had his licensed suspended quite a few times. Eventually they said he could drive if he produced his license, which proved impossible because he had left it somewhere else. Flav was upset and decided to shut it down, apparently unable to stand how his roommates wouldn't trust him. I tend to agree that Flav should have been able to drive. It is not impossible to believe that he is properly licensed, and I am sure he has driven the Public Enemy tourbus without any problems, and was probably able to do it while stoned. The RV should have been no problem. Out of all the arguments against Flav driving, Brigitte came ahead saying "It's not personal. For example, I had two beers this morning. If I got behind the wheel, I would get arrested. If Mr. F got behind the wheel with no license, he would be arrested."


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