Going Against the Flo - 
by sg-dub
Not for the first time, The Surreal Life opened with a stirring montage of coffee making, nail painting, sleeping, and George Jefferson yawning. I am now convinced that the show's editors, upon realizing at the end of filming that this season was a real bore, thought it would be funny to start each show alluding to that fact. Let's just say it doesn't exactly get me excited to watch, let alone recap, the show. "Hey, sg-dub, what did you do for Easter?"
"It was awesome! I watched the following conversation take place at the beginning of "The Surreal Life:” The transsexual Alexis Arquette alerted Playboy TV's Andrea Lowell that her thong was showing, for which she was grateful. This somewhat puzzled Alexis, who (despite having a penis) stated, "I like to show my thong." Enter 80's video has-been and spouse abuser Tawny Kitaen who elevated the discourse, noting, "I don't like showing my ass, but I do like showing my thong." Not to be outdone, classy Alexis quipped, "I like to show my ass IN a thong!"
Yes, dear readers, He is Risen!
The rest of the cast gathered around the breakfast table and were essentially just blathering about nothing. We were able to gather that one of the topics was smoking and who had smokers in their families. Then the discussion shifted to that of children and smoking (or something). Florence Henderson asked Steve Harwell if he had any kids and after an uncomfortable pause, he offered up a soft, "No."
After a longer, even more uncomfortable pause Steve told the gang that he had a son who sadly died of leukemia at 6 months. Hoo boy... As a father of a 3 month old, this is not something I enjoy watching on my television. Steve obviously wasn't too keen on talking about the situation but Carol Brady pushed him a bit. Steve choked back some tears and offered up a few heart-wrenching details but really wanted to change the subject. Hey, I have an idea - how about more men in thongs! No? Yeah, you're right, ain't no way to segue out of this paragraph humorously or gracefully. Sigh.
The "Surreal Times" rag was delivered to the house and CC ran to grab it. What wacky adventure awaited the Surreal Seven? Why, they would each get their own "talk show" on which they would deliver a monologue and interview a guest of their choosing! In case they didn't have the ability to get their own guests, a stable of circuit staples was offered up - Bridget the Midget, a guy with a giant mustache, a really old guy, some animal trainer guy... Oh Lori and Reba (ne Dori), where art thou?
Alexis immediately ran off to secure her own guests - presumably someone in his family. Tawny sauntered over to Mrs. Brady and proceeded to play a game of charades that fell flatter than her current career. "Ring! Ring! Ring! Telephone call for Florence Henderson! Ring! Ring! Ring!" Everyone just stared at her - why was she pretending to make a phone call to a woman sitting 3 feet away? She continued her weird little act and everyone just stared at her. Aha, she was "calling" Flo to "book" her as a guest on her "show." (I got it from the get-go, but found it funny that the cast didn't.)
|
| | Next Page... 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 ( Comments ) | Discuss In Our Forums |